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Thread: Girlfriend told me she needs time...Help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    5

    Girlfriend told me she needs time...Help

    So just a little background information before I talk about the problem. Last Feb. I finally hooked up with the girl I had a crush on for 4 years. It was our sophomore year in college, and we hit it off great. She lived on campus in a dorm and I live in an apartment right beside campus. She normally came over and stayed with me every night while she was living on campus. Her parents are VERY strict, and really won't even let her go over to any guys apartment or house (they didn't know she was staying at my apartment). Well things were going great until she had to transfer to a different medical school, (the school is only 5 minutes away). So two weeks ago she had to move back home with her parents until Jan. 5 when she gets her apartment.

    A few days ago I wanted to see her because I rarely would get to because of the holidays and her parents and her living a hour away for right now, it really was taking a toll on me going from one thing to the complete opposite. I was really hurting, so I invited her over one night while she could come, because I knew this would probably be the last time I saw her for about two weeks. I broke down. I told her that I didn't know if I could handle this because its really hurting me. She told me we will do our best to make it work no matter how much time we have. I still basically cried the entire night, and ruined our night together.

    So after that night I have been having to work a TON because of the holidays (my job requires it) and its very hard to text or talk when I'm there, and I am really tired afterwards and want to go to bed because I have to wake up very early in the mornings. Two nights ago I got off work went home and fell asleep right when I hit the pillow, and about 30 minutes later i thought I was dreaming my phone was ringing nonstop. Finally after it stopped I picked it up to look at it and it had been her. I texted her and told her I was half asleep and very tired from work, and that I would talk to her tom. This really pissed her off.

    The next day she was pissed about it all day, saying I didn't care if I even talk to her or anything, the entire day. Finally after work I got home and called her and she basically told me she doesn't wanna break up right now, but she needs time. She tells me she loves me, but says she doesn't know with her new school hours and job and everything else she has going on she doesn't know if she will have time to give me what I want and have a serious relationship. She told me she needs time to think it over, and that she is very stressed right now with her new school about to start, the holidays, her having to move into her new apartment, her doctors appointments. etc..

    This really has shaken me up. I told her my feelings, and that I am willing to do what it takes to make it work, because she is the love of my life. She still tells me she understands how I feel and what I want, but she still needs time. I've been in tears ever since. How can she still say she loves me, but basically tell me our relationship is up in the air? I'm confused, hurt, and all of the above, and every time I try to talk to her about it, she says i'm stressing her out and pressuring her and that she needs time. Someone help, please.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    She sounds a bit volatile and like she's about to panic.

    I suggest you write her a love letter. It requires no immediate response (less pressure) and could reassure her when you're unavailable to talk (like in the middle of the night).
    Spammer Spanker

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