back to the scene of summer love?

**lovesjoyajm** · 12-01-09, 08:30 PM

I had this romance with a guy I worked with last summer, then we went our separate ways at the end and sort of stayed in contact, which soon decayed. I spent the first 2 months away absolutely miserable, missing him, and then started working really hard to get over him, and the worst of it is way behind me.

He's been hired for next summer. I haven't got a job yet, but thanks to my glowing eval from him, I have been guaranteed a job offer. Most likely it will not be in his department, i.e. it's possible we'd only see each other once or twice over the 2 months I'd be there (rather than 18 hours a day, every day like last summer).

I've tried to consider every possibility - would I be ok being there if he'd lost interest (which I assume he has)? if he HADN'T? if he didn't want to be friends at all? if he DID want to be friends? Should I try to pick up contact again with him before the summer? I'm also afraid that all my "getting over him" efforts have been wasted if all along I was secretly thinking "its ok, I'll see him next summer."

Does anyone have any experience in this, seeing someone again after awhile? It's not like we broke up and it's awkward. We were never really together, we never broke up. My roommate (a guy) reckons seeing him again is what I need to convince myself I'm over him. I'm just not sure what's best (going back or not, and what to prepare myself for.)

**misombra** · 12-01-09, 09:34 PM

nooooooooooo don't contact him. let him wonder...

**lovesjoyajm** · 13-01-09, 12:47 AM

Originally Posted by misombra

nooooooooooo don't contact him. let him wonder...

Let him wonder what? whether I'm going back? I don't even know that myself, yet...

**lovesjoyajm** · 14-01-09, 05:35 AM

Sorry for the bump, but I really do need help if anyone has any ideas.

My question is, does anyone have any experience where seeing the guy again actually cleared up feelings or made you get over the person faster?

**carl1222** · 14-01-09, 09:55 AM

I have ... it just adds to the confusion and prolongs the pain.

Everything you need to know, you already know. That it was a very exciting summer fling with your boss that he just wants to repeat in a smaller way. And that he does not share all the feelings you have for him.

Get a different job!

Carl.

**vashti** · 14-01-09, 10:32 AM

It sounds like a lot of potential for awkwardness. Of course, maybe it won't be so bad - you never had sex with him, right?

**lovesjoyajm** · 14-01-09, 01:11 PM

No, we never had sex.

Carl, thanks for the blunt answer - my friends have tried to convince me every time I've heard from him that he "must care about me", not with any intention of trying to push me back there, just to make me feel better. Not that I believe it deeply or anything, but it's good to face the facts straight up. He probably doesn't care about me.

Don't worry, if I do go back, it won't be hard to avoid him once I've decided that's what I want to do. There are other things about the job that make me want to go back, but I have a lot more to think about now.

**lovesjoyajm** · 27-02-09, 10:28 PM

So I've had this sort of "fantasy", essentially since I left last summer - or maybe before that - that I would get back in time for the big 4th of July Dance, which he will be at, and it would be our big reunion and I would get to dance with him (I know, I know, it's sappy.) So I had this plan that I would basically get back from Germany on July 1st and then turn around and fly back out there on the 3rd to make it out there in time for this.

I finally, just a few days ago, realized what a terrible idea this is and how it only sets me up for failure and I no longer have any intention of getting out there in time to see him there. In fact, if I do go (which I still really want to) it will be with the intention of not seeing him, which won't be too hard. At least that's what I'm telling myself now, but it's sort of taken this whole weight off me - when I think "when I see him..." I can stop myself with, "Not going to happen - don't worry about it."

**Gigabitch** · 28-02-09, 03:46 AM

I have had that kind of experience go both ways. Seeing my ex that I never got over was always a big thrill and now we're married. Seeing this one guy I used to have a big crush on is a little weird (it wasn't reciprocated) and I think it makes him uncomfortable.

That's no the point, though. The point is, if you come back, we might actually get to go out to lunch, so I vote YES.

**lovesjoyajm** · 28-02-09, 04:01 AM

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

That's no the point, though. The point is, if you come back, we might actually get to go out to lunch, so I vote YES.

Haha, awesome! Want to pick me up at ABQ this time? I'm definitely up for it!

Although... gosh... it's like meeting a celebrity... what would I say???

**Gigabitch** · 28-02-09, 04:35 AM

"You look thinner online" or something equally evil. I know how you are.

You'll probably be all drunk and stumble off the plane.

**lovesjoyajm** · 28-02-09, 05:18 AM

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

"You look thinner online" or something equally evil. I know how you are.

You don't know the HALF of it. I'm like a ... TeraBitch.

You'll probably be all drunk and stumble off the plane.

Nah, that was me LEAVING New Mexico last year. I want to be sober when I see the mountains and get drunk off the oxygen-poor air.

Edit: Just got offered the summer job. Not exactly the one I was looking for... nor in fact any of the ones I applied for... boo hoo. But I'll probably take it.
Edit: I took it. But I put my start date on a day that NM boy should be out working - ie, I won't see him when I get there, and if i see him at all, I'll be surprised.
Soooo excited to see the mountains again

4 months!

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