2 girls but one I haven't met

[Andrew21]

I am 21, this online girl is my age, and this offline girl is a little younger, she's almost 19 but still in highschool, What makes this hard is that I've never had a real relationship before, and now there's this girl in my town right in front of me, and we have feelings for each other, so I wish I could be free to try a relationship with a real physical person for the first time, but I'm very conflicted because my feelings are stronger for the online girl who its possible I may never meet though she is a citizen of the USA, and is doing everything she can to move here soon, maybe even to my town to be near me, but its defenitly not for sure she will have money and be able to make that happen and find a job and all that of course..and even so when I meet her there's no guranttee we would get along that well at all....and I'm already getting on well with this girl here in my town...

like I said at the end of this post, I feel I'm more compatible and would be better off long term with the girl from online, and I just can't give her up, but my feelings only get strong for the girl here in my hometown cause I can actually hang out and be in her physical presence, and I can't with my online girl whom I've never met..



I just met this nice girl, and we have spent time together 3 times over the last week; this is very new to me because its the first time I've ever gone on a first date with a girl who was willing to see me again. I'm amazed how different it is when there is the chemistry and you actually get along well with your date...

but I'm worried that my relationship with this girl could become real or exclusive, or more serious, or whatever. even so that might be what I want...

my problem is I'm in a relationship with a girl online on the other side of the world(Phillipines), whom I've never met... and I wouldn't feel so committed to her, as we've only been talking for 4 months, but for the fact I've sent her gifts, and I've also sent her a lot of money to pay for things such as hospital bills, computers, etc..(and I'll never regret doing so btw no matter what) this online relationship feels serious, and this online girl share more similar beliefs, and more things in common with me, and I honestly feel she would probably be the better girl long term for me...


I can't date both of them at once..cause it feels too serious with the girl online, so it seems to me anyway...so do I just have to make a choice already? I've never been in a situation like this before...as I've said, first time I've been beyond a first date....thanks for any thoughts on this!!

[Spring Haze]

You are far too immature and naive for ANY relationship to work. This woman from the Philippines is obviously using you for personal gain. Save yourself the heartache and cut ties with her. You're not going to, you'll have to learn the hard way, but that's the only logical advice for such a situation.

[Lite]

LOL, nice. She's taking your ass to the cleaners financially and you love her more for it.

[Gigabitch]

IRL > online, every time.

[kikibrown22]

Well I think so far people have been a little harsh in their responses, but I agree, in all likelihood this girl is just using you for money, and maybe eventually for citizenship. Having never met the girl, you never know who you're dealing with - could be a middle aged man for all we know.

At 21 years old you should be out experiencing life. You have a girl right in front of you who is interested in you (which is more than a lot of guys I know!). While the virtual world can feel safe and lets you escape reality, the best thing to do is get out there and interact with people face to face. A good connection intellectually and morally is important, but nothing can replace the connection of a touch or kiss, or just being near someone.

Be strong and don't let this girl in the Phillipines take advantage of you. By all means stay in touch with her, but explain to her that you need more than a long-distance relationship can offer and that you would like to see where things go with this other girl. You also need to tell her that you can't afford to send her any more money and then see how long she sticks around. If she truly cares about you, then she will understand.

[Andrew21]

Well I think so far people have been a little harsh in their responses, but I agree, in all likelihood this girl is just using you for money, and maybe eventually for citizenship. Having never met the girl, you never know who you're dealing with - could be a middle aged man for all we know.

At 21 years old you should be out experiencing life. You have a girl right in front of you who is interested in you (which is more than a lot of guys I know!). While the virtual world can feel safe and lets you escape reality, the best thing to do is get out there and interact with people face to face. A good connection intellectually and morally is important, but nothing can replace the connection of a touch or kiss, or just being near someone.

Be strong and don't let this girl in the Phillipines take advantage of you. By all means stay in touch with her, but explain to her that you need more than a long-distance relationship can offer and that you would like to see where things go with this other
girl. You also need to tell her that you can't afford to send her any more money and then see how long she sticks around. If she truly cares about you, then she will understand.

I'm going to tell her what you said...we'll see how it goes...

you are right, by the way, I know this online girl is real, and not a man lol;she's already a citizen here too... I talk on the phone and cam all the time, but yes I know she's using me for money, and yes I've been fine with it, its just how I am, I throw money away easily when I have it...and I know I really helped her, and I know her problems she needed help with were real...BUT what I do regret is how I've made too much of my love for her, my sending her too many messages and things, making her think I'm more interested her than I really am, you know?? thats what makes it hard to turn away more than anything...

thanks, you help me...

[Serious]

You should try to build relationship withe the real girl.