Never been hurt like this before. (Long Story)

[DJMarky]

I have had 5 girlfriends, and ended it with all of them, but never before have I felt this heart broken feeling.

My last girlfriend I was only dating for 4 months, but fell so in love with her and I know she felt the same. I was with my ex ex for 2 years and never felt this way.

I hooked up with this girl about 3 years ago when I was about 19 at a pub, we saw each other for a while, then drifted apart.

She then got a boyfriend and we didn't speak to each other. Not because I was upset, just that we had moved on and had no real emotional attachment to each other.

Then all of a sudden she started talking to me on msn, she came and met me for my birthday when I was at work. Then she starts calling me out of the blue wanting to go out for a drink, I tell her I have already organised going out with some mates to have a few beers and play xbox and said she was more than welcome to come, which she accepts. Anyways, we started flirting and getting touchy after we had both had a few drinks, which ended when her bf picked her up from the house.

She then msged me on Saturday night when I was out at another party that she had a sexual dream about me.

She then came round the next day and things got a bit out of hand, she said she couldn't stop thinking about me, and that she always thought I was hot. Anyways, we went to 3rd base. She then slept over the following Friday and went the whole way. A week later she broke up with her bf, which is when I started sleeping at her place and it pretty much turned into just sex, we didn't expect emotions to get involved. Her ex was lousy in bed, and apparently I was great, so she didn't mind me coming over much.

Things were good for a couple of months, til I started getting annoyed she was still hanging out with her ex. I knew nothing was going on between them, they were just friends, well she considered him just a friend (they had zero sex life when together - so I knew there was no physical attraction, more companionship). I suspected that he wanted to get back with her, but knew she wouldn't. Anyways, she didn't want to hurt his feelings so would never say she was dating someone else. This meant at her birthday I had to act like a friend when they were nearby, this was very frustrating.

Time passed and I complained more and more about how she refused to tell her ex. Anyways, she said she wanted a break to think which meant not spending NYE with me as previously planned but with her friends from uni, which included other guys. She then tells me the next day in the hotel room she cuddled one of the guys to make it 'easier' to get to sleep. Anyways, a few days later she surprises me and comes round in the morning, we go at it like rabbits and everything is back to normal, except she still wont tell her ex.

A few weeks later I break up with her. She came to pick me up after a work function, and then told me to hurry up as she was going to see her ex at work. I was completely pissed off, I left the work function (drinking in a mansion, in a spa til 2am) early as I hadn't seen her for a week and wanted to chill out, then to find out her ex (who she had seen a few days earlier) wanted to do something, and she chose him, this made me feel insignificant. Two days later she calls me saying she does not want to break up, so I go round to hers and things go back to being great. She tells me she will tell him and will give me a higher priority and things go fine.

She then tells me the next day and the day after she is going to hang out with this dude (the guy she had cuddled on NYE) at his house.

Later she tells me that the day prior she had checked him out when he was changing his shirt and had a sexual dream about him, I told her I felt uncomfortable her hanging out with him but she told me I was being insecure. Seriously, it's the same shit that happened to her ex. I don't know if this is Karma, but it's totally ****ed up. She kept talking about how she was planning on seeing a movie with this dude and hanging out with him more and more (at the gym, etc). They talked ALL the time, on msn, by sms, literally all the time. They then organised to go shopping on Friday, I ****ing hate shopping so wouldn't want to be in his place, but it shat me right off. Apparently he just smsed saying we are doing something on Friday, and she said ok.

That night I was supposed to go round to hers, but she was at his house ignoring my phone calls so that she could stay longer with him, so I ended it via sms. I know they then started hooking up and have started dating and it is tearing me up.

She was such a bitch, but I can't get over her. I can't look at another girl, as none compare to her. She is absolutely stunning. Everywhere we went cars honked, people whistled, guys would come up and chat her up, I would get told she is stunning by everyone, even strangers and now I know some other dude is cuddling her and ****ing her and it hurts.

What can I do?

I have been ignoring her texts and phone calls, but it's not helping. I am going traveling/snowboarding in Japan in under 2 weeks, I don't want to think about what she is doing, I just want to act as if she never existed. I don't know how she did this to me, but I hate it.

[Indignant]

too long to read

[Lite]

Yeah, so she's a manipulative bitch that plays men against each other because she feels she can. Looks fade with time, bitchiness just tends to get worse I'm afraid.

You need to find new things for you to do, and vary your life up. You have a basic pattern to things, and it's your comfort zone. You need to drag your ass out of it, and make yourself do new stuff. Make new friends, find a new route home, go buy a new snowboard.

My personal weakness when hugely stressed is what I call "Shiny therapy." I buy something very expensive that I've been lusting after that will keep my brain occupied for a while. Or, I put myself somewhere that my brain is basically physically overloaded with crap to look at. It's my form of meditation. Throw myself into some sort of utter chaos, and then go find the calm place to unwind.

[DJMarky]

Haha fair enough, shortened. Hope it is readable now.

[DJMarky]

Yeah, so she's a manipulative bitch that plays men against each other because she feels she can. Looks fade with time, bitchiness just tends to get worse I'm afraid.

You need to find new things for you to do, and vary your life up. You have a basic pattern to things, and it's your comfort zone. You need to drag your ass out of it, and make yourself do new stuff. Make new friends, find a new route home, go buy a new snowboard.

My personal weakness when hugely stressed is what I call "Shiny therapy." I buy something very expensive that I've been lusting after that will keep my brain occupied for a while. Or, I put myself somewhere that my brain is basically physically overloaded with crap to look at. It's my form of meditation. Throw myself into some sort of utter chaos, and then go find the calm place to unwind.

Thanks dude.

I surf and windsurf a lot, went out after work yesterday til the sun had set. It was relaxing, but all I could think about was her. I am trying to slowly forget about her but it's hard. Maybe this holiday I can find some nice japanese girls, as I tend to go for asian/eurasian girls. Out of 5 of my girlfriends one was caucasian, one asian and three eurasian. Hehe, eurasian fetish.

She messaged me later asking me to please answer the phone as she had some of my stuff, but I ignored it.

I can't bear to look at her again.

[DJMarky]

Yeah, so she's a manipulative bitch that plays men against each other because she feels she can. Looks fade with time, bitchiness just tends to get worse I'm afraid.

You need to find new things for you to do, and vary your life up. You have a basic pattern to things, and it's your comfort zone. You need to drag your ass out of it, and make yourself do new stuff. Make new friends, find a new route home, go buy a new snowboard.

My personal weakness when hugely stressed is what I call "Shiny therapy." I buy something very expensive that I've been lusting after that will keep my brain occupied for a while. Or, I put myself somewhere that my brain is basically physically overloaded with crap to look at. It's my form of meditation. Throw myself into some sort of utter chaos, and then go find the calm place to unwind.

Hmmm, that shiny therapy sounds like a good idea, though I have been spending loads of cash recently.

New car, plane tickets, spending money, her birthday present (can't believe I spent so much), festival tickets, I got a $500 fine for not wearing my seatbelt, broke some windsurfing gear .. so yeh been spending cash like no tomorrow atm.

Usually I would go out drinking with friends now and meet some new girls, but everytime I am out I look at a girl and I think, she isn't nearly as hot, which is shallow but I can't help it. **** I miss her.

[Lite]

Hmmm, that shiny therapy sounds like a good idea, though I have been spending loads of cash recently.

New car, plane tickets, spending money, her birthday present (can't believe I spent so much), festival tickets, I got a $500 fine for not wearing my seatbelt, broke some windsurfing gear .. so yeh been spending cash like no tomorrow atm.

Usually I would go out drinking with friends now and meet some new girls, but everytime I am out I look at a girl and I think, she isn't nearly as hot, which is shallow but I can't help it. **** I miss her.

Wait until you get to Japan and pick something up nice there that they don't have here.

[Gigabitch]

Ugh. Tell her you're not interested and that she can keep your stuff because now that you know what she's really like, she's ugly to you. That will piss her off.

[kitty001]

you will find someone who is even more beautiful.....and who respects and loves you.
and isn't a bitch.

[DJMarky]

Thanks guys, I hope I do find someone else.

My good mate just broke up with his girlfriend who was as bad as mine, maybe even worse! So we are going out this weekend and hoping to meet some girls.

She deleted all the photo albums off us on facebook, I deleted her off facebook pretty much the second i broke up with her, but I know this because the photos I am tagged has reduced severely with every photo of us together that she uploaded gone. She never did this with her ex, so maybe I really pissed her off ignoring her texts and phone calls. I wrote her a short email today saying I felt betrayed and wanted to get on with my life without her, keeping it as sappy-less as possible. Maybe I shouldn't have and just kept ignoring her. Oh well, too late now.

[Grammowitch]

Move forward thats the best you can do. Dont waste your time