I am really going crazy this days ... Weel sort of I am gonna tell you my spanish " love " storie I don't know what to call it else way ...

This will be my storie in short terms ( well the shortest I can do ) and i hope you will read it and give me some help ...

1.5 half year ago I have met some girl in my home town. One friend of mine knew her and told me we could really connect cause she likes japanese anime and manga ... So I wanted to know her cause not much people like this stuff in my country. Well at first was nothing special we talked about anime and stuff. So we made a few exchange and stuff ... Later she wanted to see me. I was never in for a relationship, why cause I hate being hurt and hate hurting others. My biggest spended time with another girlfriend was 10 days no emotions what so ever from both sides. Of course i did not want to get emotional with this girl. Well we started seing each other as friends. And we started to be really good friends. Well we did not talk about manga or anime anymore we started talking about our self. Well we had much similar as she was me and I was her male and female version of our selfs. We started to get closer and closer. Some time later I got a latter from the army that I must go for 6 months there ... I was thinking about her I would really miss her I loved spending time with her so I told her. She said to me that we should see each other more cause she would miss me. Then i realized i loved her in some way ... And i told her that ... Well she was in that moment happy when I told her that ... She was all red in her face hugging me and we spend the night in my bed watching movies till 5am ... Later I had some connection to go in a hospital to go there in the civil war so I could be in the same town. And we could hang out. When I told her that she was so happy !!! Some time we had an argument if " a girl and a guy can be friends". Then she told me that we are only friend and nothing more, and i said to her that I am not sure what i feel maybe if I would see her with another guy I would know but know I am not sure ... But I told her i never wanted to have sex with her or even to kiss her. Maybe cause i did not wanted to lose my friendship ... dunno ... Well a few times she asked me if i want to be with her and I said "NO" cause our friendhsop would be no more ... And then she would say that she dont wants .. But moustly was an ego trip why I dont want and why she dont wants ... Later we would use to go out together, huggin each other, watching movies in bed, talking about privete stuff and so on. One time she told me that in the cafee bar " when you find, a gf and me a bf we can't see each other more" Then i told her well lets try to be together ... She said "No" I told her to think about it ... Few days later she asked me if we are friends, I told her that yes we are nothing more. Then she told me that she dont wants and again the ego trip. Later that day we ended in my bed again ... But this time more close ... We did not sleep with each other cause I did not wanted, cause she was back then a virgin sho I did not wanted to be her first time like that ... So i back out ... Cause we are friends and friends dont sleep with another ... Later when we saw each other I had some problems back home and I was a bit cold to her ... Well she was pissed and run home cruying. She came tomorrow and told me that we are finished. I was like ok, but confused ... We ware never together ... So I asked her and she has "forgiven me" but the next time she got pissed for some reason, well reason was she was hurting me telling me that she dont cares for me and that kind of stuff ...

For 3 weeks I did not call her, I was mad ... Then I need to go in another town to see some other friend and i asked her if she could give me some dvd's that i gived her to give that friend ...
She was like ... I never want to see you again, find someone else, dont call me ... I was WTF we are friends not lovers ... So i asked her to tell me why? Only that and bb ... She was like No ... So we had a fight. 3 months later I called her to ask her why is she acting like that, like she is hating me ... What did I do ? After an hour talk on the telephone we went to a caffe bar for a talk ... I wanted to know why is she acting like that. And she was like ... Nothing happend ... If I forgive you we will be close again and we will hava a fight, and i will get hurt ... When I am with you I am to emotional, i open my slef to much ... I want to be more with you, I am not ready to be bond with someone ... I was like WTF WTF WTF. Later I asked her to forgive me, she was like No and started to hug me and hug me ... Then her sister starts calling and she went inside ...

Tomorrow my friend called her and she told my friend that some psychopatch me is bugging her ... I was pissed and I told to my self after this we cant be friends anymore she is not worth it ... I did not want to see her anymore ...

I evoded her for 4 months. Some friends told me she was going out to places I was going but I was not there cause I did not wanted to see her. Well that time I was in the hospital. Funny thing is she is a nurse, but she got a job in some mallmart with her sister. Some time later 4 months after we talk to each other she came with her sister in the hopsital to work for free so she can get a job one day ... So I saw her after 4 months .... When i saw her i told her "hi" and she told me GO AWAY FROM ME !!! I HATE YOU< YOU BORE ME !!! I was furious !!!When she would see me she would not ignore me but she would look another way, or even go to another floor ... I was mad cause she is acting only yo me like that. Why is she hating me ... I was going crazy ... Iv'e done to much for her ... and she ...

Some time I saw her in some disko with freinds, she then told me to buz off, and then she told me to go outside where she told me " We are finished ! Get that in your mind !!! I was again like, we are finished with what? we were never together, what did I do to you??? for you yo hate me like that?" And she told me " I cant say hi to you, not after what happend" I ask her what happend ???!!! And she told me nothing ... Then i asked her do I deserve this attitude ... she said " NO ' I was like lool You are acting like crazy, did i kill you, did we have an love afair and i cheeted you, i mean WTF then her sister was blablabla. Then I have cross the like. I told her you are a bitch !!! **** you !!! Then i went home and well cryed ... I felt guilty but a bit better, cause now she has a reason to hate me. Then i did not go for 4 days in the hospital ... The 5 day friday i saw her again, and she was the same ... Late I saw her when she was going home, she was looking at me but in some sad way ... I felt strange like something happend ... After that I did not saw her in the hospital. I saw her sister but not her ... I was like did somethign happpend to her ... But I has some feeling she was gone ... 1 week later after new year 2009 some guy told me that she is gone in another town, she got a job in another hospital ... Then he told me why are we not talking anymore. I told him the storie and he told me that he is her friend but she never acted that way. It was maybe cause I asked her to be together, but then he told me that one time he was drunk and was trying to kiss her with force but she rejected him and forgiven him tomorrow. I never did that kinda stuff. Then I started to think ... Why is she gone to another town, I know her sister is here, and she loves her sister the most, Once she has goted a job on a bigger hospital and rejected that time cause of her sister. Becouse she wanted to go together, they are twins so they are bond to much ... And not all of a sudden her sister is here and she is gone ... What the heck and she has gotten and acceped that job when i told her those words ... Now I know that the 1st time she rejected the job not only cause of her sister then cause of me ... Well I think so ...

And now well I dont know what happend, I still care for her, I would like to help her, to support her, to know if she is okay, to know the reason why is she like that ... Can someone help me? What should I do? what happend ???

Please I need some help, I never ever found someone that I care this much and i really dont understand this, call me stupid guy but pls help me. If u have some qestions pls ask i will answer them!