There's this girl I've liked for a few years now, and never got the chance to ask out. I've always been shy with women, and she always seemed out of my league. She was always friendly with me and she came off a little flirty, so that was good I suppose. I haven't talked to her or seen her barely in at least a year, and all of a sudden I get to see her every day now. She said hi to me even though we haven't talked, so I think that's a good sign. Also, I'm a little overweight so I'm not sure she'll be attracted to me.
Here's what's important: I don't really know what to do. Should I give her a valentines day card, or should I just ask her out? I was thinking about a flower but that might not be a good move.
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Thread: Here goes nothing
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03-02-09, 07:15 AM #1
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Here goes nothing
Last edited by redroosterz; 03-02-09 at 07:22 AM.
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03-02-09, 07:24 AM #2
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The card and the flower I wouldn't do. The best way to engage someone to ask them on a date is face-to-face. Which, if you're shy is also the most terrifying.
Pretty much you should just ask her out. When you do be direct, confident, make eye contact, smile. All the things you would do during an interview only with more personality and emotion."Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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03-02-09, 07:25 AM #3
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You aren't female, but then again, I can't prove that.
Originally Posted by Lite
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03-02-09, 07:35 AM #4
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I'm not female. At least, I wasn't last I checked. But I'm pretty sure the good advice you will receive will come in pretty much the same form. Most women prefer a direct and personal approach. Cards, while attempting to be personal, are really rather kind of impersonal unless you already have a relationship with the person.
But, most women really like a man w/ confidence. Said direct approach shows not only confidence, but comfort in who you are as a person."Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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03-02-09, 07:38 AM #5
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Be careful about the Flower and card thing, you don't know if she's single or separated or what. Smile and ask if she'd like to go to lunch or get coffee sometime. That's usually a safe approach!
Good luck, and don't worry about weight, it really is all about making her smile and laugh!
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03-02-09, 07:41 AM #6
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How about you get to know her a bit more at work until you do something drastic like display an interest? Maybe as a person she's not really right for you. Just start up a random conversation with her when you see her "How was your weekend?", "How was that last movie you watched?" and build it into a routine until you can feel comfortable talking to her. Then after there is comfort invite her out to something both of you like, it won't feel as awkward for either one of you. Originally Posted by redroosterz
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
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03-02-09, 07:43 AM #7
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lol, males can wield the answers as well xP and Lite knows what he is talking about, (a random guess from what i've read in other topics around the board) so it wouldn't be a bad idea to listen to that advice xP besides, IF you do say it to her directly, it feels extra rewarding. you've managed to overcome that fear, + you finally got over that stupid step, whether or not she accepts to go out with you xP
another note is: For the most part, girls only seem out of your league because you really like them. If you hate the hottests and most beautiful girl at your work, I doubt you would see her as being out of your league - on the contrary, even a girl that is seen as ugly and full of flaws can be seen as unreachable if you really like her. It is a matter of taste xP You can't pick out 1 kind of girl ALL men want, and you can't pick out 1 kind of man ALL girls want.
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03-02-09, 07:47 AM #8
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She's single.
I should have known that was a bad idea.
I think I'm just gonna forget valentines day and wait. I doubt I'm going to get to know her fast enough, especially since we're from completely different worlds. Maybe I won't even bother. I'm not confident enough...
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03-02-09, 07:52 AM #9
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Maybe you should, you know, fix that? Why do you lack confidence in yourself? Originally Posted by redroosterz
And really you have nothing to lose by asking her to catch a movie or some dinner with you. What's the worst she's going to do? Say no? Laugh? Point and laugh? As far as I'm concerned if a woman laughs at you, she's doing you a favor. She's ending the relationship early for you by showing exactly who much of a shallow twat she is.
You literally have nothing to lose by asking. Period.Last edited by Lite; 03-02-09 at 07:56 AM.
"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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03-02-09, 08:01 AM #10
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I just got through a tragic part of my life, and I've never been with a girl before. She's popular and I barely get out. Originally Posted by Lite
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03-02-09, 08:06 AM #11
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Tragic, lost parent? Parents? Originally Posted by redroosterz
Anyway, sitting around won't win friends or influence people. You have to be out there kissing hands and shaking babies man.
How old are you? Do you have access to counseling via insurance maybe?"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
