Twenty-One

[StrawberryHeart]

So my boyfriend's 21st birthday is coming up. I won't be 21 for another 2 months. Last week he told me that he was going to the bars at midnight with his roommate and a friend from school. I was fine with that. But now, the group has grown to include some more people including a girl that his roommate is friends with and a girl in one of his classes and some other people.

I felt hurt that he had invited all of these people to what he now calls his "party" because he didn't invite me. I know I'm not 21 yet, so is it right that I feel hurt? I asked him if I could go too, and he said "no, he doesnt make the rules (about me not being able to get in since im not 21 yet)". I even offered to be the designated driver, but he said that he didnt want me to do that because I had school the next morning.

Do I have a right to be upset, or am I blowing it out of proportion?

[Cain]

The bars that I go to card you at the door. You wouldn't even be allowed to step through the door. If you were 21 and he was doing this then you'd have a reason to be concerned. But you aren't and you don't.

Stop being insecure.

[vashti]

If I were old enough to get in to a place that served alcohol (even if I couldn't drink), my feelings would be hurt that I was excluded. Is your BF always such an insensitive ass? I mean, it's not like the boys are all going to go hang out alone... other girls are going, and I assume you are complaining because you COULD get in.

[Cain]

If I were old enough to get in to a place that served alcohol (even if I couldn't drink), my feelings would be hurt that I was excluded. Is your BF always such an insensitive ass? I mean, it's not like the boys are all going to go hang out alone... other girls are going, and I assume you are complaining because you COULD get in.

You need to know whether the bars card at the door or at the bar before you call the bf an insensitive ass.

If it's a bar that doesn't get a lot of people then it probably cards at the bar. But if the bar is busy and popular, they will most definitely be carding at the door because the bartenders won't have the time to card everyone, make their drinks, and take their money.

[vashti]

There are lots of places in Los Angeles that allow you in at 18, but stamp your hand at the door if you can drink. No stamp, no alcohol.

[StrawberryHeart]

yea, it sounds like they are all going to bars that card you at the door. and i am not 21 yet.

[Everlovin]

The bars that I go to card you at the door. You wouldn't even be allowed to step through the door. If you were 21 and he was doing this then you'd have a reason to be concerned. But you aren't and you don't.

Stop being insecure.

You sound like one of those self-help gurus who tells everyone else to stop being insecure. Is your life falling apart?

[vashti]

Well, I suppose it's a "right" of passage. If you can't get in, there's no point in being upset (unless he has a habit of excluding you). Honestly, I don't remember ever dating anyone who would have a party and ditch me... they would simply drink at home so I could be included.

Are there any rock clubs you could suggest like the ones I mentioned above that let you in at 18 and serve alcohol?

[StrawberryHeart]

would it totally bust my bf's bubble and be rude/selfish to suggest that we all go to a restaurant where they can get alcohol, but I can also go?

[vashti]

would it totally bust my bf's bubble and be rude/selfish to suggest that we all go to a restaurant where they can get alcohol, but I can also go?

What city do you live in? Look for a club where they perform live music. They usually let you in younger.

[StrawberryHeart]

im in the phoenix area.

[vashti]

im in the phoenix area.

Try this:

[url]http://phoenix.about.com/od/nightlife/a/buzznightclub.htm[/url]

Don't forget, your birthday is in a couple of months, and you could always celebrate by going to Chippendales..... no boyfriends allowed.

[StrawberryHeart]

Try this:


Don't forget, your birthday is in a couple of months, and you could always celebrate by going to Chippendales..... no boyfriends allowed.

I will definitely suggest this. Thank you sooo much!

[Everlovin]

Try this:

[url]http://phoenix.about.com/od/nightlife/a/buzznightclub.htm[/url]

Don't forget, your birthday is in a couple of months, and you could always celebrate by going to Chippendales..... no boyfriends allowed.

I might have to go to chippies. I'd like to have my first gay experience there.

[Illusional]

he's saving you the embarrassment of getting shut down at the door. if that happens, everyone blame you for killing the party because your bf will feel bad and it will start a downward spiral effect.

raverboy