Confess or not confess, that's the question

[Horizon]

Hi there everyone,
I'm a fairly new member here and I hope i found the right category(/forum^^) to post my question in. I was looking some time for the right forum, paired with a great community and it seems, or so i hope, i've found just the right place
Well...here goes nothing:
I've known this girl now for about 1 year and during the last half year i've started noticing her and developed quite a crush on her. We're both 18 and finishing school in a couple of months. Since I have nearly no classes together with her, I only see her during the breaks, when we both sit together with our friends. We talk quiet often in school and chat via icq nearly every day. Around the time I started to notice her, a friend pointed out that she seemed to like me but i didn't take him seriously, 'cause we were quite drunk at that time
A few months back another common friend told me she would like to go "running in" at something like a prom with me, but didn't have the courage to ask me.( We both seem to be pretty shy...bad combo...)
("Something like" because i don't live in the US and our "end-of-school" party doesn't have quiet the status prom has, but im just gonna go ahead and call it prom anyway)
(Sorry if this sounds a little strange, but it's a little hard translating such specific terms if you're not a native speaker^^)
Anyway...After i heard this i asked her to go together and she agreed. Now we're going to take a dancing class together to be able to dance at our "prom-like" prom. (She told me it was going to be fun:/) ^^
This was some time ago now and our last day of school is drawing near (20 more days^^). Afterwards we have our final exams and prom in june. A few days back, while chatting she told me she had been just asked out on a date by a friend but didn't really think of him that way and wasn't that happy about it, because she didn't want him to get his hopes up. She ended up going just to be nice, how she phrased it.
Now up to my real question:
Lately i've been thinking about telling her how i feel about her, but i don't want my confession to be followed by awkwardness between us when she doesn't feel the same way. My current plan is to wait till after our prom and tell her, so we won't be forced to see each other if we don't want to...
The real problem right now is that june is 4 months from now and i don't now if i want to have this burden on me during my last exams after 13 years of school.

I will gladly take any advice on this i can get.
Thanks in advance for reading this far
please go easy on me if my grammar is too bad.

[ahweilove]

Ask yourself:
What if she does like you, will you regret not telling her?
Regrets are the worst thing in this world, I have way to many.
Good luck, I hope everything works out.

[lilmama615]

I agree with ahweilove. Don't have regrets if she really does feel the same. Take a chance and good luck.

[jadelil25]

I would wait until after the prom.

Have a nice evening together and see if you can pick up on any vibes that she likes you too.

I.e she looks in to your eyes a lot, she stays close to you, touches you a lot, smiles a lot.

If you wait until after the prom, at least you will not make things akward but you can also get a feel on how she is around you.

I dont think she would ask you to the prom if she did not like you.

Just go for it, after the prom. It sounds like she does like you. Im sure that all will be fine.

[carl1222]

Things are going just fine. I don't know why you think it's even necessary to "confess" your feelings for this girl. You are showing her that you are interested by your actions, and she is showing you that she is interested in you by hers. She already knows you are interested ... what more would you want to say to her at this point? You haven't even dated yet, so confessing strong feelings would be creepy. If you start dating, your feelings will be obvious from the first time holding hands to the first kiss.

I disagree with jadelil25. I wouldn't wait four more months to ask her out. I think you are going way too far to avoid possible awkwardness at your prom. It is sort of like asking a girl to marry you and then not wanting to see her again until the wedding just to avoid screwing it up. Besides, it makes it appear as though your only interest in her is because you needed a prom date. If I were you, I would start dating or start spending some alone time with her immediately. So don't wait until after the prom, just ask her out now ... take her to a movie this weekend. If things go well, ask her to be your girlfriend after a few dates.

I think the dance lessons is a sensational idea on many levels. This common shared experience will bring you much closer together than any traditional "date" could ever do. When were you planning to do that?

Good luck,

Carl.

ps ... your English is fine.

[Horizon]

Thank you all for your advice^^
Now it's 3:1 for "before prom". I think i'll stay with this and think of something/somewhere to ask her out to. Oh and btw: When i said confessing, i was thinking of something along the lines of "I like you, wanna go to ..... togehter?" and not "I love you, please marry me!"
On the other hand, even somthing like this could startle her if she was just being friendly and had no idea about me starting to like her
But hey, nothing to lose and i think i'll somehow try to keep potential awkwardness to a minimum by starting small. Her birthday is coming up and something just might pop into my mind considering all the time i spend thinking about it instead of studying

ps: Not really sure about the dancing thingie yet...We settled on either sometime soon or after our exams (april/may).

[carl1222]

Thank you all for your advice^^
Now it's 3:1 for "before prom". I think i'll stay with this and think of something/somewhere to ask her out to. Oh and btw: When i said confessing, i was thinking of something along the lines of "I like you, wanna go to ..... togehter?" and not "I love you, please marry me!"
On the other hand, even somthing like this could startle her if she was just being friendly and had no idea about me starting to like her
But hey, nothing to lose and i think i'll somehow try to keep potential awkwardness to a minimum by starting small. Her birthday is coming up and something just might pop into my mind considering all the time i spend thinking about it instead of studying

ps: Not really sure about the dancing thingie yet...We settled on either sometime soon or after our exams (april/may).

I think dating her now is the smarter choice. Your planned confessions are rather tame and shouldn't scare her off but I wouldn't say them both at the same time. On your first date, say "I like you" just so she knows you are intrested in her romantically. Then, maybe on your third date ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend so she knows you are interested in an exclusive romantic relationship. Of course, play it by ear based on her responses. It's unlikely but not impossible that you may say "I like you" and she'll respond "I like you too ... wanna be my boyfriend?"

As for a birthday present ... keep it inexpensive at this point, but something that has some personal meaning to her. It could be something as simple as a book about something she's interested in or a poster of her favorite band. If she's into frogs, give a little porcelain frog. It's more important to make it personal and thought-out rather than extravagent but ordinary.

Good luck.

Carl.