Question

**CAM** · 02-03-09, 12:04 PM

Do you ever look down at your sex partner while in the act and ask yourself, "I wonder what I don't know about this person's life? What secrets are tucked in his or her mind? Will I ever really know this person?"

I ask these questions because there are so many things that the other person does not know about me, will never know about me. Nothing malicious or bad, just things that are so personal that I wish never to share. I would guess that they have similar things, true?

So, do you intentionally hide large portions of your life from your partner? Do you or are you living a lie? If so, what are these things?

Interesting things that can be divulged here, in anonymity

Good night.

**vashti** · 02-03-09, 12:05 PM

If women thought about that kind of stuff during sex, they would never orgasm.

**CAM** · 02-03-09, 12:07 PM

I'm sorry, but I don't know "Vashti's" gender. Please inform.

**carl1222** · 02-03-09, 12:28 PM

Vashti is a girl.

We all have our own personal secrets that we keep to ourselves ... things like perhaps the love of our life in the past with whom there is no hope, etc.

But if you feel the need to hide "large portions of your life" then you ARE living a lie.

Carl.

**vashti** · 02-03-09, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by CAM

I'm sorry, but I don't know "Vashti's" gender.

???

Since when?

And why is that relevant anyway?

To answer your last question, no. I don't keep LOTS of stuff to myself, but I don't feel the need to share every little detail, and I certainly don't think about them when I'm having sex.

**Mish** · 02-03-09, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by CAM

Do you ever look down at your sex partner while in the act and ask yourself, "I wonder what I don't know about this person's life? What secrets are tucked in his or her mind? Will I ever really know this person?"

For some reason I never have questions like that. As long as they don't have any stds (that includes children) and never cheated (if this is a partner) I couldn't care less what secrets they have hidden.

**Tiay** · 02-03-09, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by CAM

Do you ever look down at your sex partner while in the act and ask yourself, "I wonder what I don't know about this person's life? What secrets are tucked in his or her mind? Will I ever really know this person?"

yes.. but not so much while being sexual but just when i'm thinking about them in general.

**misombra** · 02-03-09, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by CAM

I'm sorry, but I don't know "Vashti's" gender. Please inform.

if somebody's gender is the sort of thing you're not sure about during sex then you've got major problems.

**Gigabitch** · 03-03-09, 01:12 AM

I have never wondered that during sex, nor do I expect that I ever will.

**Aeradalia** · 03-03-09, 01:35 AM

Never been much of a problem for me... we both disclose expected information willingly and openly... and as time goes by, we work up the courage to ask more personal questions and answer them in due time.

You'll never know EVERYTHING about your SO... and that's fine. Some things that have happened in their life do not really contribute to the relationship... and their omission do not hurt the relationship either. It's the things that do contribute to the relationship or can hurt the relationship through omission that are greater concern --- to me anyway.

**misombra** · 03-03-09, 01:51 AM

you never really know a person. you could be with somebody for years and learn something new.

if people knew everything about their significant others from the beginning there wouldn't be so many divorces.

**Aeradalia** · 03-03-09, 01:52 AM

Originally Posted by misombra

you never really know a person. you could be with somebody for years and learn something new.

if people knew everything about their significant others from the beginning there wouldn't be so many divorces.

There would be fewer marriages too...

**Indignant** · 03-03-09, 01:55 AM

Originally Posted by Mishanya

As long as they don't have any stds (that includes children)

what?!? you compare children to STDs?

**CAM** · 03-03-09, 01:59 AM

Originally Posted by vashti

???

Since when?

And why is that relevant anyway?

To answer your last question, no. I don't keep LOTS of stuff to myself, but I don't feel the need to share every little detail, and I certainly don't think about them when I'm having sex.

Since when? Honestly, there's never been anything gender-specific to your remarks that would serve as a gender-identifier. Perhaps you told me once, but I can't recall. Relevant only to the extent that you surmised about women's sexual pleasure being retarded by thoughts about one's mate and his/her secrets.

I don't give the thread topic/question much thought. My last gf did, though. Always asking questions right after sex to clarify, to see if there were secrets that she could glean. I was just curious if others had seen/experienced this behavior.

**Gigabitch** · 03-03-09, 04:34 AM

Originally Posted by CAM

I don't give the thread topic/question much thought. My last gf did, though. Always asking questions right after sex to clarify, to see if there were secrets that she could glean. I was just curious if others had seen/experienced this behavior.

That's annoying as hell. Way to ruin the mood, girl.

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