will we ever get back together?

[ceps]

I met this girl just over a year ago (Jan2008) at a cousins party. She’s actually my cousin’s best friend. We hit it off pretty well and we started dating.

Things had been going really well. I’ve never dated someone like her before – she was just perfect in every way. It didn’t take long for me to realise she was the one for me. I knew that one day I would marry her.

We are both religious and believe in no sex until marriage. We don’t live together. I must say she hasn’t been as affectionate (especially in public) as other girls I had dated. I asked my cousin (her best friend) about this and she said she has never been a particularly affectionate person towards her previous boyfriends. I just lived with this assuming this is the way she was. She was the first religious girl I had dated and I thought it was because of this.

In December she went away to Europe for a month – she had planned to tour Europe during her summer break (she's a school teacher) even before she met me. I was initially going with her but due to buying a house couldn’t afford both. She ended up going with her cousin and they visited her brother who lives there and did a tour together.

Every time I spoke to her while she was away she seemed so in love. She arrives back the day before our 1st anniversary which was about 6 weeks ago. Everything still seemed good. Then the next night when I rock up to take her out to dinner she has a ‘talk’ with me.

She suddenly tells me I’m not ‘the one’ for her and that during her time away she has learned to live without me! She’s been in relationships since she was 18 and hasn’t had a break. She’s 24 and I’m 27. She said she doesn’t want to see anyone now – just be single. She said that her love for me had faded over the last couple of months.

I was absolutely devastated. I had a chat with her a week later trying to convince her to change her mind. Yes I know it was a big mistake to say that to her.

I thought id give her a break and haven’t contacted her since. Except a sms 2 weeks ago to say hi and thanks for the things she returned to me through my cousin.

Things had been so good between us. I thought she was perfect for me and I assumed it was the same for her. Neither of us had done anything wrong, hadn’t cheated etc. I treated her so well, sacrificed so much for her. I don’t think I was ever boring or predictable. And then she leaves me – I don’t get it.

It was clear I was a bit more into her. I was always buying things for her, complimenting her, changing my plans for her (I do shift work - Im a cop), miss out on seeing my friends a lot of the time just to be with her… I got some in return from her, but not as much.

I’ve got over being dumped, but I still think I will never find another girl like her. I still love her despite what she has done to me.

I’m still friends with her on facebook. All I see is photos of her and her female friends going out. I know she’s not seeing anyone right now.

Is there a chance that she just needed a break and may want to get back together? I don’t know if I should contact her?

[DallasLatin]

I'm going thru a breakup myself. It has almost been a month and I am still not completely over him. I can't tell you whether she will come back or not because no one really knows what is going on in her head.

I can reccomend one thing that has helped me a ton!! Take her off your facebook. You may have decided to remain friends, but you still need time apart. No contact. My ex broke up with me a month ago and it really hurt to see him out 2 days later partying with friends and uploading pics like he wasn't hurting at all. I took my ex off of my facebook and I wrote him a brief email explaining why. We didn't have a bad break up or anything and its not like we hate each other. You just need time to heal. It has helped me a lot in the last 2 weeks to move on. I haven't contacted him at all in any fashion at all since and it has helped.

Cut contact off completely and move on. No facebook, no text messages, no emails, no phone calls. Delete her number from your phone altogether to lower the possibility of drunk texting. I know I can be guilty of drunk texting and drunk calls so I did this before I got myself into trouble. I want to keep my dignity although I miss him like crazy still.

I've learned in these last few weeks that if someone wants to be with you they'll move the earth to be with you...just don't sit around waiting. If its meant to be, it will happen....but in the mean time focus on YOU! Get out and do things!

[Gigabitch]

I'd say the chances are slim that you'll get back together, so it's time to start moving on. Please read DallasLatin's post three times- it's exactly what you need to do.

[Indignant]

I treated her so well, sacrificed so much for her. I don’t think I was ever boring or predictable.
It was clear I was a bit more into her. I was always buying things for her, complimenting her, changing my plans for her (I do shift work - Im a cop), miss out on seeing my friends a lot of the time just to be with her… I got some in return from her, but not as much.

i think i know why she left you.

[ceps]

i think i know why she left you.

Are you saying she left me because I treated her too good?

[Mish]

Is there a chance that she just needed a break and may want to get back together?

The short answer

No

Once someone tells you "You are not the one". That's it. It's over.

[Indignant]

Are you saying she left me because I treated her too good?

you sound like an arrogant and selfish person and highly material person.

[ceps]

you sound like an arrogant and selfish person and highly material person.

are you being sarcastic? Everyone who knows me knows that this couldnt be further from the truth.

I just said I treated her well and did everything for her...how could this make me arrogant and selfish? Am I materialistic because I'd buy her a little gift every now and then?

[Indignant]

are you being sarcastic? Everyone who knows me knows that this couldnt be further from the truth.

I just said I treated her well and did everything for her...how could this make me arrogant and selfish? Am I materialistic because I'd buy her a little gift every now and then?

no, because you accentuate yourself on it.

[dber]

I'm going thru a breakup myself. It has almost been a month and I am still not completely over him. I can't tell you whether she will come back or not because no one really knows what is going on in her head.

I can reccomend one thing that has helped me a ton!! Take her off your facebook. You may have decided to remain friends, but you still need time apart. No contact. My ex broke up with me a month ago and it really hurt to see him out 2 days later partying with friends and uploading pics like he wasn't hurting at all. I took my ex off of my facebook and I wrote him a brief email explaining why. We didn't have a bad break up or anything and its not like we hate each other. You just need time to heal. It has helped me a lot in the last 2 weeks to move on. I haven't contacted him at all in any fashion at all since and it has helped.

Cut contact off completely and move on. No facebook, no text messages, no emails, no phone calls. Delete her number from your phone altogether to lower the possibility of drunk texting. I know I can be guilty of drunk texting and drunk calls so I did this before I got myself into trouble. I want to keep my dignity although I miss him like crazy still.

I've learned in these last few weeks that if someone wants to be with you they'll move the earth to be with you...just don't sit around waiting. If its meant to be, it will happen....but in the mean time focus on YOU! Get out and do things!

So Dallas, did he move the earth to be with you again?

[Indignant]

So Dallas, did he move the earth to be with you again?

Dallas is the HE.

[DallasLatin]

So Dallas, did he move the earth to be with you again?

No, which is why I'm moving on.

[DallasLatin]

Dallas is the HE.

We were both HE's lol