How long/many dates before it's a relationship?

[tigereyes12]

No sex, but everything else, makes initiative to see me every week, seems to like spending time around (me, obviously enough and) my friends, is touchy feely in public, etc. We just haven't had The Talk...and I have a feeling it's kind of implied, but what do you guys think?

EDIT: I might add that I'm 98% sure he isn't seeing anyone else. He spends a good chunk of his weekends with me (one of us usually sleeps over). And the reason we don't see each other during the week is because we're both quite busy with school and live on opposite sides of town.

[Mish]

How long/many dates before it's a relationship?

Straight after the exclusivity talk it is a relationship.

That can be on the same day you meet, one month or one year later. The time itself is not important.

[cewzp4]

I wouldn't assume anything until you have the "talk". But maybe that's just my experience.

[The_bobb]

Short answer? When you both decide it is...

[mrdistant]

I used to ask "will you go out with me" sorta thing.

Nowadays, I just pressume that from the moment I start seeing a girl, Im the only guy she is texting/ calling / meeting / kissing. Mainly because thats how I do things. Im not smart enough to be a player... :haha:

[lesa]

Straight after the exclusivity talk it is a relationship.

That can be on the same day you meet, one month or one year later. The time itself is not important.

Very true.

You must talk about exclusivity tigereyes. Somebody will get hurt if you don't. I simply said that I needed to be in an exclusive relationship before I put too much time into someone and then he asked me whether I wanted to be his girlfriend (LOL, so cute) and again I made it clear that the relationship must be exclusive for me.

[mrdistant]

Very true.

You must talk about exclusivity tigereyes. Somebody will get hurt if you don't.

I cant see how she must talk about exclusivity otherwise someone will get hurt. If the boy is of that nature, he's gonna cheat whether you have the 'talk' or not.

I was with my last girlfriend for almost a year, we never discussed what we actually we're (ie a couple) but we both trusted each other and knew we were an item and exclusive.

Personally I dont think it needs to be talked about, but if it puts your mind at rest just do it! he sounds like a decent guy thats into you, so I cant imagine he'll mind. Just dont ask him to marry you

[vashti]

I cant see how she must talk about exclusivity otherwise someone will get hurt. If the boy is of that nature, he's gonna cheat whether you have the 'talk' or not.

It's not "cheating" if you haven't agreed to an exclusive relationship; it's called "casual dating".

Tigereyes: If you want don't want the person you are dating to go out with anyone else, you must have the talk and make an agreement. I don't know how old you are, but after high school is over, many people tend to date multiple people for fun until they narrow it down to a single person. People who assume they are exclusive without having the talk are often hurt when they find out their romantic interest is dating casually.

[mrdistant]

It's not "cheating" if you haven't agreed to an exclusive relationship; it's called "casual dating".

Yes your right enough, its not cheating as such, but as good as IMO.

If someone has the tendancy to casual date a few folk at a time, then theyre not the type person Id want to have exclusivity with anyway. Im sure the OP's man aint like that though.

[Cain]

I used to ask "will you go out with me" sorta thing.

Nowadays, I just pressume that from the moment I start seeing a girl, Im the only guy she is texting/ calling / meeting / kissing. Mainly because thats how I do things. Im not smart enough to be a player... :haha:

You're in for a rude awakening.

[Cain]

Yes your right enough, its not cheating as such, but as good as IMO.

If someone has the tendancy to casual date a few folk at a time, then theyre not the type person Id want to have exclusivity with anyway. Im sure the OP's man aint like that though.

Why are you looking down on casual dating? Just because someone doesn't assume exclusivity before it's talked about doesn't mean they aren't relationship material. It's not cheating. It's not even close. When you first start dating someone you should assume that she's seeing other people until you have the talk.

[Junket]

To add:

Casually dating isn't synonymous with casually f*cking.

Not cheating, period.

[mrdistant]

You're in for a rude awakening.

Why are you looking down on casual dating? Just because someone doesn't assume exclusivity before it's talked about doesn't mean they aren't relationship material. It's not cheating. It's not even close. When you first start dating someone you should assume that she's seeing other people until you have the talk.

If your happy enough sharing your bird with me for a bit then Im down with that.

I dont casual date multiple girls just to test the waters, what the big rush that you need to do them all at once?

[Cain]

If your happy enough sharing your bird with me for a bit then Im down with that.

I dont casual date multiple girls just to test the waters, what the big rush that you need to do them all at once?

People are different.

My point is that you shouldn't assume that she's not seeing anyone else. You should assume that she is. If it bothers you, then you should ask her.

[Gribble]

I dont casual date multiple girls just to test the waters, what the big rush that you need to do them all at once?

That's just the thing. He's not sharing his bird. She isn't his bird or anyone else's yet.

Dating is like applying for a job. Rarely are you the only one lined up for the position. Multiple candidates are being evaluated until the right one is found.