im on a relationship but feels like broken hearted (sorry if this thread is long)

[EiAi]

idk if he really loves me or not
i'm currently on a 2 years 5 months relationship but as they say we cannot rely on how long we've been..

we always fight on things. got jealous on our female classmate.. but what can i do? i see things that tells me that they like each other.. when i told his friend about that she only advice me to trust him.. i think i should.. but how long? everyday is not a bright day to look forward to.

last sunday we had an argument that all of our friends got involve and his friends heard everything. (i'm not so close with his friends) so i guess they're thinking that i really don't want them..

today we met to finish the requirements for our graduation. after that he wanted me to join with his friends or at least as he say "prove" them that i don't hate them.. but he's not thinking. after all that happened last tym does he think i can face them that easily?

i chose to go home because i don't want to cause some trouble again and to let myself be alone for a while, but on the other side i'm hoping he'll come with me.. but he didn't. he joined his friends after all. he has a reason, his friend will open a business and he needs some help. so i understand that.

hours passed,i waited him to text me first coz i don't want to be told that i'm ruining his time with his friends. when he texted me he's asking me why i'm not texting him..i told him that i just woke up then i return the question.. he replied me "of course i'm doing something" so i txt him "that's the reason why im not txting u 1st, coz ur doing sumthing".

i dont understand him even i dont understand what's my place in his heart..i'm 21 yrs old and, i know at this age its not the right time to think about marriage but everytym i told him about my plans, i think he's not interested. it hurts me a lot and broken everything in my heart..

sorry if this thread is too long.. i just want to let this out thru this.. thanks for passing by..

[Lite]

You know, everyone acts like an idiot periodically. Really all you can do is swallow your pride, apologize, and go on with your life. You honestly chose to not spend time with him and fix things with his friends (who will be a fixture in your relationship going forward anyway) over your own personal embarrassment.

Grow up, you're going to have to eat a LOT of crow in your life over mistakes you made, fights you had when and where you shouldn't, and various other ways the two of you are going to **** up. It happens, get over it.

Maybe you should just dump him and then go find a new boyfriend after you've figured out your own problems.

[EiAi]

i did apologize to them the day that it happened.

today my boyfriend and i decided to visit his friends, to clear things.

and it goes well.. we speak to each other as if nothing has happened. thanks to you i swallowed my pride and think about things between me and his friends..

about finding a new boyfriend, i'm not thinking about it right now.. maybe some time when i'm all fed up and i know that it's not worth to give up..

thanks again for reading and replying