love or death

[blueline]

dear friend , i want to tell you my storry , which make me feel dont want to live anymore , i cant discrioe my feeling any way here is my story :
im in love with very sweet girl , her name is katrina , im in relastion ship with her more than six monthes , but she live with me two monthes ago , anyway we start our relatioship good , we love each other and evrythin good , but somthing disturb me... its her ex boy ,,... as she told me with ime ,... he was good in bed ... in her mind it was perfect ... and she love him until death ... anyway ... evrythin happen between me and her ..i compare this story with her ex .....and last 2week she start to be very cold in bed ... always dont want .. but sometime we hav sex but its because she pitty me...... i feel so bad ... most important person in my life which i love her untill deat dont attracting to me .
i want to be better than her ex , i want her to love me ...and to like me as man... not because im good she pitty me.... and i want her to forget her ex , i want mysef to foget her ex ... now i dream about him... i have no wishe to live anymore.. ... my life syop .. all wot i think now is about her ...
please help me any advice please

[Disillusioned]

Bear in mind I'm not a very positive person if you choose to accept my advice.

When you talk of life and death, it's more serious than just the relationship. From the information you gave me I can't tell if you're jumping to conclusions or not. Some of us underestimate how much the truth can hurt and I don't know how much of the truth you know. Remember that you're a human being too, there's no reason you should have to sacrifice your confidence living up to anybody, not her parents, not yours and especially not her ex boyfriend. You can read books and get advice from experts on sex but their help is limited, especially if you don't have an enthusiastic companion to practice with.

Also, and this is a personal matter of taste, I find pitty sex revolting, insulting on many levels and a complete turn-off. Bear in mind I don't know if it's speculation or obvious.

You're the architect of your own outlook but it takes practice. A fact is not all people are equal. We posess different inherited abilities and experience different events in out lives. We are, however, entitled to the decency of equal respect based on equal respect for each other. In this way some are less deserving than others, namely violent, hurtfully deceptive or otherwise malignant people. Others may unwillingly hurt you because they respect you enough to give you the truth. What I'm getting at is that if there's a double-standard here you won't be able to improve your confidence in that atmosphere. If you give respect and it isn't returned, you'll be bled dry and become a bitter person. You need to determine whether she respects you or not because you sound like you're in the dark. People may not be equal but there's always someone worse in bed than you and someone better, or at anything for that matter. That phrase isn't meant to be comforting, patronizing or an atypical cliche, I'm trying to let you know that you're in the shadow of the spotlight. You're too close to something painful and you need to get further away from it.

I don't think you want to die, I think you feel like you're being killed slowly by bad feelings and possible half-truths and you want it to stop so you can feel good again. It's so complicated though, where to begin? Start finding out truths, half-truths eat your lifeforce. The truth hurts but prolonging the suffering is much, much worse so you may need to ask her if she's willing to work together on the relationship. If she's not you need to break it off with her. It'll be good for your confidence, relatively speaking.

I think you need some personal counciling if you're talking about death.

Some advice from others would be a good idea too.

My apologies, I do mean well and hope I don't come off as too insensitive.