advice on getting a love life?

[crazylovebug]

hi everyone!

i am brand new to this forum and never really even talked to anyone about this subject ever in my entire life. i would love to hear any advice that anyone has! pretty much i am here because i am 19 and i have never had a meaningful relationship with a girl. i feel like i am really missing out as i have never kissed a girl or even really been on a date with a girl. i have no idea where to start, its not that i am shy or ever have been. the honest to god truth is that i am just not very attractive. i am not making this up when i say there has never been any chemistry between me and any girl i have ever met. i am totally at peace with the way i am but sometimes i wish i had someone to cuddle with or even just to talk to and hold me sometimes. any advice on how to get the ball rolling?

looking forward to hearing what some people have to say!

[pinkpolkadot]

is there anyone at work or at school that you might like to take out for a bite to eat? thats a start.

[crazylovebug]

is there anyone at work or at school that you might like to take out for a bite to eat? thats a start.

hmmm...honestly there isn't. but thanks for the advice!

[pinkpolkadot]

hmm, i would say a bar but you're 20. how about a (dance) club or a club that you're interested in? anyone in there?

[crazylovebug]

hmm, i would say a bar but you're 20. how about a (dance) club or a club that you're interested in? anyone in there?

i am sure there are lots of awesome people clubbing but i don't have a group or anyone to go with. and trust me i may like dancing but i need a girl with me every step of the way because i am an awful dancer!

[LaughingComedy]

Some girls I know look for the guy thats true and honest.( I know cheesy....) Start by finding somewhere you could practice a hobbie of yours. ( Reading in the park, typing in a cafe, biking in the park,...etc ) Most likely you'll find a girl there that has the same onterest. And most likely you guys will having something to start a friendship on ( and possibly more :] ). For me and any other female its a different preference. Some want friends others want boyfriends. Importantly...dont be pushy..or expect what you want in a girl. Expect the unexpected. If you can. :]

[nonconformist]

hmm, i would say a bar but you're 20. how about a (dance) club or a club that you're interested in? anyone in there?

go to a bar to try and get a "love life"? Nah, you go to bars to pick up a one night stand.

[nonconformist]

pick up girls at the mall. Sounds dumb but it works. No lame pick up lines or anything but just chat. Say they look familiar or something then start small talk. make sure you seem like you are busy and when you leave ask them for there number or email.

[crazylovebug]

Some girls I know look for the guy thats true and honest.( I know cheesy....) Start by finding somewhere you could practice a hobbie of yours. ( Reading in the park, typing in a cafe, biking in the park,...etc ) Most likely you'll find a girl there that has the same onterest. And most likely you guys will having something to start a friendship on ( and possibly more :] ). For me and any other female its a different preference. Some want friends others want boyfriends. Importantly...dont be pushy..or expect what you want in a girl. Expect the unexpected. If you can. :]

I think you hit on part of the problem! See i am not the "honest and true" type. I am pretty sure that I have the personality of a "he's a conceited jerk, but he's hot type," but minus the hot. Lately I have been trying to act differently but I still find myself doing the same things and its really hard for me to relate to the type of people in general who hold stuff like "honest and true" in high regards.

In regards to expecting the unexpected I couldn't agree with you more! Thanks for some great advice!

[crazylovebug]

pick up girls at the mall. Sounds dumb but it works. No lame pick up lines or anything but just chat. Say they look familiar or something then start small talk. make sure you seem like you are busy and when you leave ask them for there number or email.

haha I want something to happen randomly, I don't want to go out looking to try and something happen. But thanks anyways! Just a quick question: How has this strategy worked out for you?

[vashti]

Well, you could hire a dating coach to teach you what to do and how to make some changes to your look which will increase the liklihood of a girl accepting a date. Either that, or you can get a girl your age (friend, cousin, sister?) to help you improve your look. Don't be stubborn about changing your appearance; assuming you are right about not being attractive, it can really alienate people. Besides, most people aren't as unattractive as they think, and small changes can help a lot.

In the end, it's going to come down to you taking the risk of being rejected over and over again. Dating is a numbers game: if you ask enough girls to go out with you, one will eventually say yes. The trick is to not allow the rejections to get you down. Rejections should be expected, but you must learn to project confidence.

[crazylovebug]

Well, you could hire a dating coach to teach you what to do and how to make some changes to your look which will increase the liklihood of a girl accepting a date. Either that, or you can get a girl your age (friend, cousin, sister?) to help you improve your look. Don't be stubborn about changing your appearance; assuming you are right about not being attractive, it can really alienate people. Besides, most people aren't as unattractive as they think, and small changes can help a lot.

In the end, it's going to come down to you taking the risk of being rejected over and over again. Dating is a numbers game: if you ask enough girls to go out with you, one will eventually say yes. The trick is to not allow the rejections to get you down. Rejections should be expected, but you must learn to project confidence.

thanks for this advice as well...I didn't even know that there was such thing as a dating coach! In regards to changing my appearance its not really possible. I just have very bad skin, not much that can be done! but again thanks for the suggestions!

[vashti]

Skin problems can be worked on with the help of a dermatologist. Also, I see boys your age with acne, and they are still dating.