He wants a break?

[hopetasticx]

So I have been with my boyfriend, Jerry for almost 2 years now. In the beginning we had some problems, he had said some really things about me that was meant to be private for him only, eventually we got over that, but I guess I was still hurt so I cheated on him with my ex in January of last year. I know what he did was no excuse for what I did, but we got over that and since then we have been great. A few minor fights now and then but never anything major. I have given him no reason not to trust me and he has done the same. Now almost a year later out of no where he says he wants a break. I thought we were doing fine, no big fights, nothing out of the ordinary and then this weekend he seemed a little distant. I tried talking to him about him and he assured me it was nothing. Tonight I saw him after work and he said that he had a dream about me and my ex and now he wants a break. He said he still loves me and it's not because he wants to see anyone else. He just feels we need a break for "a while" I have no idea where this is coming from and I don't want to lose him. Any advice would be great.

Also in my previous relationship we took a break and then we stopped the break, then a month later he broke up with me. I'm scared the same thing will happen.

I know it's a lot to read so long story short; boyfriend wants a break out of the blue

[Lite]

A break is typically the precursor to a break-up.

What can you do? Take care of yourself, maybe work on why you cheated on him previously so that you don't develop a habit of repeating that mistake.

Pretty much all you can do is take care of you, your happiness, and honestly I'm not sure why people aren't more defensive about these things.

Either a person knows what you're worth, or they don't. Taking a break from them to date other people (because, what other point is there for a break than to gain perspective) is pretty much a cowardly way of saying, "I want to break up because I am unhappy. I'm giving up, but I'm going to keep you around dangling on a chain as backup."

Why don't people get angry about being treated this way? Instead it's oh, woe is me, he wants to leave!

[lahnnabell]

I agree with Lite. I'm going through the same deal where I wanted to work things out, but my boyfriend more or less did not. I asked if he saw a future at all down the road and he said he wasn't sure, but that there would have to be space and breathing room.

After experiencing this sequence of events before, I've learned. The best thing you can do is as Lite said, take care of yourself. Show yourself, not him, that you are capable of standing on your own and able to grow and learn from your mistakes. Hanging around and contacting him at every opportune moment will only push him further away (seeing as he wanted a break) and cause you pain.

Figure yourself out. Find things to do that you love. Be with friends. I have an awesome friend/roommate in my life who doesn't mind when I need to vent or be alone or whatever. Whatever you do, treat this as a final break-up. This advice is coming from someone who has been there, done that.