Why now..?

[jupiter08]

Hello Everyone,

I’m in somewhat of a dilemma - can’t help but to think I put myself in this situation.

To put my story in a nut-shell: I was in-love with this person for 2 yrs.. he knew that.. he too expressed feelings for me… we were physical, to a certain extent. During the time, he was in a live-in relationship.. [I understand my fault in that...] That relationship ended (reason: he said he couldn’t see her as the mother of his child - not that he had kids). After it ended, he started acting strange towards me: he did not want to go out in public with me… but wanted to come and see me some nights.. and we continued to email on a daily basis. This went on for a couple of months… I even asked him if there was someone else - he denied it. He denied it, until he slowly started giving hints. And than one day he told me (via email) there was someone and he is trying to make that work. This was back in August of last year. I was devastated… and so hurt that I decided to pack up and leave town for good. I needed to heal.. A few months after that, he tried to contact me on several occcasions - said he was thinking about me and wanted to know how I’m doing.. I didn’t contact back. Again, he contacted - sent text msgs and even called - saying he missed talking with me and wanted to know how I’m doing. So I finally sent him an email -thought I’d put him out of his misery. I told him that I had moved out of town and was trying to move on. He thanked me for sending the email and expressed his happiness upon hearing from me. He than went on to say how he had figured I had moved from my place since he kept an eye out for me a few months after the break-up: said he checked my apt parking lot (day and night) to see if my car was still there, the shuttle bus I used to take to work, etc..

Since he didn’t mention anything in his email about this other person, I was under the impression that he’s doing all this because he’s single again.. and perhaps missed everything.. Since he didn’t mention, I asked about his personal life - to my surprise, he says that his relationship from July and August still continues and is going well. And that he’s trying to work on being happy.

I don’t get it - why contact me if he’s still with someone else? Why tell me all those things in great detail? I’m not going to be someone on the side, as I was during his previous relationship. I’m not going there anymore. It was a hard lesson learned.

What do I do in this situation - do I ask him these questions or do nothing at all (as I had before). Obviously my heart hasn’t healed yet.

[alovehangoverr]

You've acknowledged what he wants, so why bother putting in the effort to contact him and call him out on it? Do you really think it's going to matter to him?

Realistically, he called you to see if you could potentially be a hook up for him again-- whether it be now, or sometime in the future if he chose to act on it.

This guy is a sleaze. He knew of your feelings and took advantage of them-- and you let him. You had all the signs of him using you staring you in the face and you ignored them. Don't ignore them this time. Block him on everything, don't take his calls, move on with your life.

[Gigabitch]

Why is the word why even in the title of this thread? You know why. The guy is a cheater and knows you're one of those females that are willing to play the role of the Other Woman. Why wouldn't he call you?