need help: why was last night was a disaster?

[pol32x]

O.K. so bf and I go out for dinner and to attend a relationship seminar. In the past everytime we get together we enjoy each other and have a good time.
But something went awfully wrong last night. It started as we were driving to dinner. I was talking about our relationship and what I want. He has lead me to believe that I am all of these wonderful things and that I fulfill his most important emotional needs.

All of the sudden we are in disharmony. We never went to the relationship seminar rather sat at dinner and talked for hours about our relationship. The more we talked the worse things got between us.

The less he seemed to care and less important I felt to him. He said I was pushing him away and I felt that he was pushing me away. He acted like I had made up all of those great things he said about me and about our relationship as though I was crazy or something.

Why the shift? He offered me so much and now is offering me less. He thinks I have shifted. He thinks its me. He sees me as the one with the distorted thinking. It feels the other way around to me.

What is going on here? Everything seemed fine up to the moment I mention our relationship which I have done in the past without any problem.

Do I just pull back or end it here and now?

[Gigabitch]

How many different ways does he have to show you that he's not into you any more before you let this guy go?

[alovehangoverr]

How many different ways does he have to show you that he's not into you any more before you let this guy go?

I'm going to have to agree with this. It sounds like he's looking for an out and blameshifting and making you feel bad seems to be it.

When you were talking about the relationship and what you want.. did he bother to contribute anything?

[pol32x]

He said he wants to see lots of me. Also, that we need to have do more fun activities.

[Gigabitch]

Well, what did he say about the OTHER issue in your relationship right now?

[alovehangoverr]

Ok, wow.. I just looked at your profile and saw your other posts.. I didn't realize who you were.

Seriously.. the fact that he has feelings for his ex, wants to be with her, etc.. is enough to walk away. He really thinks to resolve the issue he should spend time more time with you and do "fun activities?"

....

SERIOUSLY?

[lahnnabell]

pol,

we tried to tell you. this set up was bad from the get-go. no, you guys haven't been having normal good times. nothing was really ever fine in this relationship. he's more than likely going after his ex again, which we warned you about.

move on. unless you want to stand around waiting for him. that's going to cause you a lot of hurt and it'll be a long time before you get back the self-esteem you're sacrificing for this guy. this dude needs to get his sh** together by himself.

what you can begin to do is prepare yourself for the time when life with his ex isn't going to work either. you will most likely see him come back into orbit. then you'll have a new problem on your hands. keep looking ahead.