Found Him...

[Aeradalia]

He called today...

He was over in Germany... however, it wasn't because he was leaving my mom...

He went to the German Consulate, they paid for the plane ticket... he took the $400 so that he'd have some money to help him over in Germany. While he is over there, he will try to get a work visa/green card so he can work over in the US... rather than spend $4000 us dollars in the states... he can spend the equivalent of $1000 us dollars in Germany.

He had grown tired of waiting 3 years for his current employer to help him (via sponsor him). He didn't tell my Mom because he felt that she would never agree to this.

Needless to say my mom had just about went through every emotion she has when he called and told her all of this.

I don't know what to think of all of this... other than to think -- it's a wonder I made it do adulthood even remotely sane with shit like this going on.

Anyway, I have to help my mom sale some of her things (to make up for the missing $400) and then help her to move in with me (gee... I wonder where that 'serving' tendency came from?... ugh... ). My roommates have been looking for a reason to get out of the lease... so this seems to be the opportunity they have been waiting for.

I could use a gigantic Prozac right about now... or weed (if I wasn't allergic to it).

[Junket]

Smart guy.

I was thinking about just disappearing and moving back to Philadelphia the other day.

[Gigabitch]

I'm ****ing speechless, and that's unusual for me.

[vashti]

Well, I'm glad it wasn't the worst possible outcome...

[Aeradalia]

I'm ****ing speechless, and that's unusual for me.

When my parents got divorced... my Mom left for Germany... so this is the second time someone I know has ran away to another country...

My mom is odd to say the least... and so is the guy she married.. apparently.

And now she gets to move in with me... Thinking about moving in with Zack --- Iraq might be a better situation...

[Mish]

Wow, new standard in selfishness. Did he ask your mum to wait for him for a few years as well?

[Aeradalia]

Smart guy.

I was thinking about just disappearing and moving back to Philadelphia the other day.

We'll find out real soon if this guy is full of shit or not... I'd like to believe he'll keep his word...


In the meantime... that bottle of jaeger is awfully tempting..

Perhaps now is the time to take drinking lessons from Illusional...

[Gribble]

Couldn't he have left a note or something?

[Cbrider]

I'd drop his ass on the doorstep, what a selfish thing to do. You don't disappear and put someone you love through that unless its absolutely necessary. If he couldn't sit down and explain this to your mom than he shouldn't have done it.

[doppelgaenger]

Poor communication skills between your mother and he. They should work on that.

[Aeradalia]

Poor communication skills between your mother and he. They should work on that.

My mother did similar shit to my Dad while I was growing up. I think I'll just watch the bit of irony unfold... if nothing else... it could be entertaining.

Besides, I have to keep an 'unbiased' view as my mom will have to move in with me...

[Gigabitch]

Oh ****, oh dear. I understand now why you're a little reserved, emotionally.

If my mother moved in with me, I'd lose my marbles.

[IndiReloaded]

My mother did similar shit to my Dad while I was growing up. I think I'll just watch the bit of irony unfold... if nothing else... it could be entertaining.

Besides, I have to keep an 'unbiased' view as my mom will have to move in with me...

Unchecked impulsiveness? Tell me they don't keep a gun in the house.

BTW, they are both adults, Dalia. I know its distressing, but you have your own life to live. Don't take too much ownership of something that is their problem. Help where you can, of course, but don't you dare get sucked into the guilt vortex that they created. Bad enough you had to grow up in it. Try to only let it touch you a certain amount.

[Aeradalia]

Unchecked impulsiveness? Tell me they don't keep a gun in the house.

BTW, they are both adults, Dalia. I know its distressing, but you have your own life to live. Don't take too much ownership of something that is their problem. Help where you can, of course, but don't you dare get sucked into the guilt vortex that they created. Bad enough you had to grow up in it. Try to only let it touch you a certain amount.

Nah.. they don't own a gun... I do own guns.. but they stay in my room.. the ammunition is hidden away from the guns..

Hate to imagine what life would've been like if there were guns in my parents' house when I was growing up..

Not much I can do in regards to this 'guilt vortex'... my mom helped me to get this apartment here during/after my divorce... so although it's 'not right' it will be something she will use against me if I don't take her in. So I'd rather just avoid that shit... plus, where else will she stay? One of those things.. you know?

This Friday I will be leaving to head to my Dad's house with my brother (he's in the states now)... and I'll be down there for a week. So she'll be left to move the remainder of her belongings --- she said she can get someone to help her. So I will be getting a much needed break from all of this shit.

It'll be nice to go to the extreme other side of my parents. My mom is emotional, impulsive, and usually upbeat (eh.. every few minutes or so)... and my Dad is more laid back, encouraging.. but usually perpetually depressed... though he tends to hide it well most of the time.

Isn't life grand? Why couldn't I have been smart like my brother? A war-torn country is far more peaceful than dealing with family-related bullshit... ughh...

[IndiReloaded]

I can't remember who I mentioned this to before, but its worth repeating:

Sometimes, family members can become like rabid dogs. You can feel sorry for them, even love them & want to help them. But the fact is, they are rabid & cannot help that they will turn and bite you in an instant. You MUST factor this into your interactions with them.

The onus is on YOU to protect yourself from being bitten. And, sometimes, to put them out of their misery.

This sometimes goes for other people in one's life, not always family.

Naturally, this is a metaphor and there are various ways to go about this, but the bottom line is still: protect yourself. It may hurt to do so, it may not be fair you have to, but sometimes life just ain't fair.