HELP, my EX wants me back. I dont know what to do!!!

[vv15629]

Ok so a couple weeks ago i broke up w/ my ex bc i caught her talk to her ex boyfriend multiple time and not just "hey how are you' but things like i love you, i miss you, one time she even told him that she was single. and she talk to other guys just bc she likes the attention, she admitted that. i just grew so tired of it, it was so wrong and unfair. she says its all bc her first bf messed her head up so bad so now she craves attention from guys bc he never gave her any. But after a couple of time of pouring my heart out and tellin her how much that she hurt me by sayin those things to her ex bf, she continued to do it so i had to break it off.

when i first broke it off i knew that would be only way for her to realize things and that i hoped she would change and we could work it out. of course i was down and missed her like crazy. but after a little while i felt better and like i was ready to just move on. So about a week ago she started callin again alot saying how much see missed me and is sorry. so we started hangin out some again, she says she will change and that she knows she needs to fix things.

I just dont know what to do she seems so sincere but still. im really stuck. sometimes i think just go and move on she wont change. then i think maybe she will change and im pushing away something good. Its just tough bc now when we hang out all i can think about is oh great who is she talking to now.

She has started seeing a pyschiatrist since she knows she has some issues and she "says" that one of the main things she talks about with them is how she likes attention and how she keeps talkin to her ex even though she has no true feelings for him. I dunno what to do, it seems like she really wants to fix things but who knows if she will and if so how long will i have to wait around for it.
I thought about just givin it a rest w/ her for a while so she can get herself straight. i just feel like its now or never though. like we will be too far down are own paths later on to work anything out

[Gigabitch]

She's too messed up to be anybody's girlfriend. Don't go for it.

[Rollerderby]

Needing attention is like needing coke: There is never enough to go around.

This girl sounds really insecure and gets her self-esteem from when others hit on her/want to get with her/fall in love with her. I'm sure at some point in time YOU were her big coke rush. But the problem isn't you, it's her. She's has no idea what she wants and who she wants, all she knows is that she wants A LOT of it. Let her be someone else's problem. You were never seeing her true side anyway, cheaters often can't show their true faces to those who they become most intimate.

Actions speak louder than words, and she's had a lot of loud actions hasn't she?

I have a couple of close female friends who are chronic cheaters. I don't approve of their behavior and tell them, but it all boils down to the same thing: They aren't happy with themselves, refuse to face it and lather, rinse, repeat. It's just like any addiction, it's trying to fill up a hole inside that will never be filled the way they try to.

Good luck, don't look back RUN FAST

[alovehangoverr]

Yeah, her ex messed her up so bad she had to punish YOU for it!

No thanks.

Listen, as people have said above the problem here is her. It's great she's getting help for her issues, but if I were you I'd say this ship has sailed and she's not on it.

Be realistic with yourself-- will you ever feel comfortable with her again? Will you constantly be worried she's talking to other guys?

[vv15629]

yeah like i know right now she needs to just work on her self to even attempt begin able to change. its just like when i tell her we cant do this and she needs to worry about getting herself together for a while she just takes it as me being a jerk and wanting to just do my thing as a single guy. Shes is the person who just cant get it or understand i guess. she takes everything personal and as me just trying to benifit myself. I honestly just wish she'd move away lol, well not really but the thing i fear most is having to see/hear her w/ someone else. i think i can handle just being w/o her though

[ritah59]

Hello vv,

I think you are right in deciding to stay away from her. That would be good for your own balance and peace of mind.

As for the two of you going too far down your own paths to figure things out together --- well, if that were to happen, then que sera sera! It is quite possible that you find somebody who fills the void that she has left, in a much much better way. Or it is possible that at some point down the road, your paths cross again. While it is not possible to predict the future, it might be good for you to back off from this relationship at this point of time, and not really bother who she is with from now on.

God bless,
R.

[vv15629]

i agree. its just so sad how they can seem so true and honsest at times. its seems like they would give the world then all the sudden they let you down again

[Mish]

If you do decide do give her a chance, make sure you put in place some non negotiable boundaries. For example given the history with her ex you don't want her talking to him. Get her acceptance to those terms.

[ritah59]

Hello vv,

I would like you to consider it a life's lesson - that people you love can let you down.

Believe me, if this person is destined for you, she will come back. But right now it is clear that she is not the right person who you should be investing your emotional energies in.

Best,
R.