I need to clear this up

[Iwanttobefree]

It doesn't matter how I feel, I always want her next to me.... That's not going to happen. But even though the past two years have been bashing me so hard that now I'm just a depressed, loveless, miserable piece of shit, I think I really do love her. I want her to be happy and find a great guy someday, and I would beat the shit out of anybody who wrongs her.

And now, I just can't move on. I drag my ass out of bed everyday to think about her over and over. I'm a diligent, hard working christian. But I feel like I have no love and no motivation. I feel like nothing, and I just can't find the will to live, much less than being my best.

I'm done giving this more time. There are people - myself included - that are depending on me to work hard and become successful. But the road I'm on right now is leading me deeper into this hole.

I feel the need to just talk to her. She knows how I feel, but not the extent of my feelings. I know she feels bad for me. And I hate myself for it because I don't want to pass any of my hurt onto her. I'm praying to god every two minutes to give me a miracle, and my hope is dying. Please don't tell me to just forget about it and move on, because I just can't bring myself to doing that. I know I can't forget about her just like that, and that moving on is like weight loss... But I've been getting fatter ( sorry that's a horrible analogy)/.

what can I do? What should I say? I need my life back. so ppplease help me

[IndiReloaded]

The 'love hormones' make you crazy. Seriously. I don't really know what else to say except *believe* "this too shall pass". Because it does.

Do jumping jacks and pushups until you are exhausted. I'm serious about that too. The adrenaline will burn off the hormones. Or do the other thing, that will also help.

Emotions go up, intelligence goes down. Every single time.

[Iwanttobefree]

****in kill me now that's the answer I always get. I'll just learn this the hard way

It's not that simple... I'm an athlete.


you know what just nevermind.

[IndiReloaded]

If the answer doesn't change, perhaps you should consider its b/c its the right one. If its not what you want to hear, perhaps you are asking the wrong question.

[rohit20]

Ok Ijustwanttobefree, analyse the situation. From what you write, it seems that you love the hell of her. Your liking for her is so strong that it clearly shows in your text. What troubles you is perhaps she does not love you back. But someone not loving you back when you love them from the depth of your heart is something very disturbing and stinging. PAIN WILL COME. What you can simply do is distract yourself. Get involved in things other than her. Watch movies, read books(perhaps the best option) and get your mind away from her only then it'll help. don't let her think you're desperate for her..........one day you'll definitely come out of this grief..................gud luck............

[Iwanttobefree]

After this semester ends, I'll never see her again. (well technically, there's still facebook) But will I still think about her?

[Lite]

After this semester ends, I'll never see her again. (well technically, there's still facebook) But will I still think about her?

Maybe, but likely you'll find someone else and move on like everyone else. Pretty much you just need to work on resolving your feelings and finding something better.

[Doc Durian]

****in kill me now that's the answer I always get. I'll just learn this the hard way

It's not that simple... I'm an athlete.


you know what just nevermind.

Ignore her, beef up your facebook, post lots of pics of your conquests (or sister's friends, whatever, etc...), have fun with it.

Might as well stir her up. If nothing happens, then consider moving on.

Dunno...

[Tug]

I've been down that road, I know how you feel. Beings your a Christian your more than likely not going to like what I have to say. Do yourself a favor, find another woman. I know using someone to get over someone else is going to go over to well on this forum sometimes that's what it takes to make the heart stop hurting.

[Iwanttobefree]

Tug,
I can't work or study, I have no energy. I can't be outgoing and I can't even make jokes. There used to be so much of me, but now there's nothing.
I would give it a shot with someone else. But I just can't.

If you really walked in my shoes, tell me all about it, please.

[steelsword]

Why is it "not going to happen?"

I don't believe you said if you have asked her if she has any feelings for you. If not, you need to do that. Be direct. Say: "So you know how I feel about you, but I was wondering, do you have any feelings for me? Do you see this going anywhere beyond a friendship?" Or something similar to that.

[Tug]

Tug,
I can't work or study, I have no energy. I can't be outgoing and I can't even make jokes. There used to be so much of me, but now there's nothing.
I would give it a shot with someone else. But I just can't.

If you really walked in my shoes, tell me all about it, please.

Iwanttobe me and my GF are about ready to call it quits and even though it hurts like hell and I dont want to lose her sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture and move on with your life.

Once I'm sure my relationship with my GF is over I'm going to climb in the saddle and find someone else to ease my pain as soon as humanly possible which should be within a couple of days after Im sure were through. Im older than most here and I can honestly say nothing will mend a broken heart faster than filling the void with someone else.

[The Godfather]

There's a book that has helped me out through stuff like this in the past. Maybe you want to check it out?

How To Fall Out of Love by Dr. Debora Phillips

[JasonG]

Tell her everything that you want to tell her before she disappears, man. Although it seems like she rejected you by the sounds of it which definitely sucks but you know what, does that mean the end of the world?

I've thought like that too where there is this one girl who I could see myself perfectly with in every way and said to myself that if we weren't together I could never be truly happy with anybody else. Hey now that's not the way to think... if you really connected with one person surely it is possible again with somebody else based on how many people there is on the planet. It may take alot of searching but you're bound to find someone alike or at least closely alike to the person you are in love with now. They may not look the same or act exactly the same but it is possible to fall in love again. Anyway back to the girl I was talking about... I told her how I felt about her and said I had a crush on her at first. I was totally mad about her and we talked alot more for months, become close friends and then I realized I had to be totally in love with her. So I told her how I really felt! It was very shocking for her and it almost destroyed our friendly relationship but we both talked about it to great lengths and we have an even better relationship with each other right now. But what's different here is she never rejected me and it hasn't lead into anything because she has a boyfriend and they are in a long term relationship for at least five-six years now and deep down she does want to get out of the relationship with him but isn't sure how to do it. Anyway, me and her both made alot of mistakes in terms of communicating things without confusing the other but we did the adult thing and are doing everything we can to make things work out for each other because we don't want to lose each other from our lives. I value her company as she values mine, I respect and trust her as she does too, we can be kind of dysfunctional and we do at times even act like we're an item but in the end we both know right now this isn't going anywhere. What the future lies for us is unknown and if she ever was single she would infact let me take her on a date as she's told me. So what do I do, sit and wait? Hell no!

You gotta enjoy life and try to find happiness elsewhere. It is possible. Do things to keep your mind occupied and distracted from this girl. At first your mind may not be used to thinking of anything else but this girl but BELIEVE ME, keep on trying. Keep pushing yourself. It may take everything you literally got but you can overcome this strong sensation of love and learn how to control it and not let it control you. It is very hard to control but it is possible to do so. Go out with friends, concentrate on your job, try working out or find ways to let out some sweat, play videogames, watch your favorite films, fill your mind with broken heart stories from other people who are likely worse off than you and see that your situation ain't so bad afterall. I hope this helps you out and good luck!

[Iwanttobefree]

The two times I shared a portion of my feelings with her, I realized that I had done the dumbest thing in my life. I ended up in love. It's like I've had it all along. I guess that now I'm just afraid that telling her might make things worse. Not just for me, but it might place a burden on her, and I don't want that. BUT I want to know how she really feels about me, and I suppose the only way is to talk to her and tell her before she disappears.