What to do - Thinking about breaking up with her.

[samo8076]

Hi everybody, im new here so let me first say a big 'Hello' to you all.

Iv been with my girlfriend for around 20 months, things were brilliant up until we started arguing just after the summer last year. Since then all we seem to do is argue, and they get pretty bad at times to the point we say extremely hurtful things etc.

Around feb this year and after months of thinking things through i decided to call it off as the way things were going we were going to lose the friendship aswell as the relationship which i didnt want to lose. We were broken up for around a week and after several phone calls/emails/texts off her i decided to give it another go. We agreed to take time to listen to each other and try and understand each other a little more.

Things seemed to be getting back to how they once were with the exception of her be-little-ing me, at first it was only a comment here and there which i could deal with, but after so long she seemed to put me down about everything i did, even something as small as the way a placed the toilet roll on the holder. I sat her down and explained how i was feeling etc and she turned it around on me, and said im making her feel like a bad girlfriend, that wasnt what i was trying to do and told her that. I just needed to tell her my thoughts as holding them in will get me knowhere.

Since then i have tried to work past this and other issues we have but i cant, its getting the to the point now i want to separate permantly and though i will miss her to be bits i wont miss her attitude etc, and she has become extremely controlling aswell as shutting me out of her personal life aswell. The only time we seem to be happy these days is when the tv is on and we dont have to talk. Which is not what i want.

What do i do?

[Gigabitch]

You break up with her.

Oh, and learn how to put the ****ing toilet paper on the roll properly. Man, I hate that.

[Doc Durian]

Go to the pros

[luvispower]

things were brilliant up until we started arguing just after the summer last year. Since then all we seem to do is argue, and they get pretty bad at times to the point we say extremely hurtful things etc.

sounds pretty much like my situation.hope i can get great advices here.

[LoveHurts09]

well u've tried talking about it which is great but after that there's nowhere to go, ur basically saying she needs to change for u to like her... not going to happen unless it's what she wants.

[alovehangoverr]

You broke up with her once because it wasn't working out, got back with her, and now are in the same situation.

It doesn't sound like this is going to work out. If you've been having these issues since summer of last year that's a fairly big chunk of the relationship-- it's unlikely it will change.

You've given it two tries, don't bother with a third.

[Adrift]

I have to agree with the responses above. I've been there myself, and I can assure you the situation isn't going to change. Move on the what's ahead.

[12many]

lol random...but..

how come whenever someone asks for advice, most/some of the people just say, "leave her/him" or something along those lines... Is there any other options besides leaving the other person?

[Doc Durian]

lol random...but..

how come whenever someone asks for advice, most/some of the people just say, "leave her/him" or something along those lines... Is there any other options besides leaving the other person?

Investigate her attitude and behavior before you were first together. Delicately sniff around and ascertain whether she was prone to being critical with past bf's, friends, family or if it's just been with you.

There may be reasons unrelated to you for her attitude towards you in the second phase of your relationship.

Never had to probe, myself, with the Ex. A girl on the rebound of a very long term, but past it's use by date relationship who arrived in my life best foot forward but with two bags of luggage crazy glue fused to her hands.

Whenever I had valid occasion to pull her up for her negativity or nay saying in our life, I'd get, "It's him. He made me act, feel, think this way".

Most others hide this sort of thing from their new partners.

(At least she was honest, eh?)

[clever_name]

Be up front, communicate what you are feeling, ask her why she is always putting you down. If things can't be worked out, maybe breaking up is the best thing.

[samo8076]

thanks for all the adivce. i think im going to have to take things day by day and just see how it goes. we spent the weekend together and apart from her 'morning mood' its been a good one.