Sex is opposition, need help!

[Illustrated]

I completely adore my girlfriend of 8 months. We complement each other almost perfectly. Big plans are being made, if we fight we can work it out within an hour. I have been in a lot of relationships and this one is definitely worth it. But...

there is still one last BIG hurdle.

But she and I both have completely opposite views on sex due to past relationships. For her sex has no emotion involved and her ex-bf always made her feel like it was her job if she didn’t offer it to him and would guilt her if she didn’t, so she is very withdrawn. This guy was a genuine douche, if she didn’t put out he would just go hang out with one of his female friends. Sex is simply the least important thing to her. If it were solely her choice it would be once or twice a month max.

My views are sex and love go almost hand in hand, which I know is kind of backwards, but frequency and passion for both parties is very important to me. Spontaneity, passion, intensity, drive and having her initiate things occasionally would be tremendous, not demanding things but it would be nice. My ex really stopped enjoying sex but for different reasons, so at the end of that relationship I found myself a little love starved before coming into this one.

This has been causing a lot of conflict lately. Neither one way or the other makes both of us happy... is there a solution to this problem?

[Spring Haze]

She should try to resolve the issues in her past, and in all probability the way to do that is through counseling.

[Junket]

Also, men are very prone to linking lust with love.

It's natural, that's why you continue to seek her approval. You may not think it consciously, but that's why males court females. Right now it doesn't take a lot of effort for you to do nice things for her because it's natural to be enamored. You're in the honey moon phase (despite the conflict).

Men generally become nicer, sweeter, and accommodating when they're seeking physical affection. Those gestures are what women look for before they give up that affection. It's virtually instinct.

Point being, don't feel like you're being unreasonable for seeking out sex. Sex is not a want, it's a human need. If you cannot resolve this with her, then you'll have to move on.

[Henry123]

You guys could see a relationship expert or sex therapist if you think the relationship is really worth it.
Maybe she needs to see a therapist/counsoler???

[Lite]

I really don't know how many times I've had people scoff at me and insist I'm a shallow asshole for stating this but: Sexual computability is just as important in a relationship as trust, love, understanding, and commitment.

It is INTEGRAL.

So, either you two can work it out Ill, or like they've said above. You need to move on.