putting ghosts to bed

[mrcbt]

search of justice
my first post! gonna be a lot to take in but hopefully it will make sense!

Basically my dilemma is this. I am a 21 year old male who easily falls in love and just can't get out. In particular there is this one girl who ironically I met on Feb 14th 2 years ago! The thing is although we were just friends for a fair time I fell for her and yeah loved her. I was never sure 100% if she had feelings for me or not because we did get on for a while and I did feel she geniunely respected me. Everything was fine intil I noticed on her social networking site that she had broken up with her partner only for a few months later she got back with him. Being the impulsive person I am I felt having seen her heartbroken before I had to try and at the very least make her think a bit more about what she was doing. Sure enough I turned out to be right and the relationship ended quickly. Now this was at a time when I had unfortunately been suffering 2 family deaths at the same time and so I was highly emotional. Having been really not thinking straight I was desperate to warn her that she could be walking into trouble and so I searched around for her mobile number on this site. I know it was wrong, I know I am guilty of that but bottom line is that I was doing it for her sake and not mine. If a friend is about to walk blindy into a warzone say, wouldn't you do anything in your power to stop them from doing so? Anyway that was my philosophy. She reacted angry saying it was nothing at all to do with me and from that moment onwards I just kept texting trying so so desperately to reassure her that I was only thinking of her and it then turned into a very messy situation. Being such a great, lovely girl she is, later on in the year I apologised to her face to face and she accepted it but the friendship was never the same for obvious reasons and I lost my cool again when I felt she kept ignoring me and because I knew the truth that this wasn't necessary I felt so sad and cheated by the situation. I feel the real shame of the whole situation is that nobody is to blame here 100%. I hold my hands up to appearing obsessive but if I came across that way I relate it to the crime de passion law thingy they have in France - it was all with good intentions. For the future I really don't know what to do. I've tried to meet new girls but my heart keeps ruling my head and I scare them off or I am too stubborn from failing with this girl that I just can't move on. Realistically even though I think somewhere deep inside this girl does have feelings for me I can't see us getting together. But if there is one thing I am so desperate for her to understand is that as a person even though I've made mistakes as a bloke I am decent and I want to bury this notion of a stalker/weirdo deep, deep in the ground once and for all. For myself I need that bit of justice to move on but I can't say it to her for reasons stated above. If anybody has listened to the story about Frank Lampard (English footballer) defending himself to rumours he was a bad father I can relate so much to that even if the circumstances are different. I don't deserve that label so was wondering if anyone has any suggestions that I can PROVE to her I am ok? From a truly heartbroken bloke

ps: I also can't help but think that the only thing women think about when men try to act a friend is ulterior motives. But I can say on my mum's life I was trying to be a good friend because I loved her for who she is so much so I would be happy if she wanted it to be that way as friends.

Hopefully you understand where I am coming from

[mrcbt]

any opinions? just want to prove her wrong!!

[steelsword]

I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to warn her about that you need to text/call her, but from what you provided, it doesn't appear that you did anything wrong initially at least. Where you apparently erred was to keep trying and trying to contact her with no response from her. I've done that before myself, so I know how it is. I've learned from it though that no response means they're not interested in you at all, even as a friend. So your best bet is to cut her out of your life/head completely.

[Jerome]

You searched around for her moble number? If you were a good friend then you would have had her number.

People like privacy and if they dont give you their number then they don't want you to have it for some reason.

You should consider letting friends step into a warzone, it's the best way to learn a lesson and expierence things that need to be expierenced sometime during life.

She didn't hire you as a bodyguard and it isn't up to you to protect her.

[LoveHurts09]

again?

u didnt like ur last answers?

basically yes it is creepy, u have to back off, if u dont think it's bad then no1 will really care about it either - but once u let it become a big deal then others will use it.

[mrcbt]

well difference of opinion then because I don't think trying to prevent some1 from being hurt is creepy, it's doing the right thing albeit my heart ruling my head. Please bear in mind I haven't contact her for months and months and I wouldn't even know her number now. I understand the point made totally but I just want myself to go up in her estimations and I would do anything to gain a bit of credit back.