My guy wants to cool off because he isn't sure about how he feels about me anymore?

[scrappydoo]

I was in a relationship with a great guy for about 14 months. Before that we were very very close friends. A few months ago he was asking his family members all about engagement rings and when we first started to go out he told me that I was the girl he wanted to marry. However we are in a long distance relationship and we barely spend time with each other having taken our relationship for granted since we started out as friends. We go out about 3 or 4x n a month and it didn't matter at first. About end of last year, i started to feel unhappy and unsatisfied with our relationship and it started to fall apart. We became more and more distant. I finally had the guts to tell him i was unhappy about two weeks ago and he told me that he loved me like a friend or a sister only and that he didn't love me as more than that. However when we finally got the chance to talk, he told me that he was confused about his feelings and he needed time for himself to grow. He is a couple years younger than i am. I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early twenties and is a very immature guy. I so love him and want to make the relationship work and am willing to sacrifice everything for him. Now he's asking for a cool off period because he wants to think and confirm how he feels about me whether as a friend or more than that. I asked him for a time limit and he said he didn't want a time limit because he would just feel pressured. I asked him to define the cool off and he said we are still committed to each other but we act as friends and let the relationship develop naturally later on. But He hasn't contacted me in two weeks at all. we haven't spoken to each other. How much time should i give him?

I don't want to keep on hoping and waiting for something. But i also can't let go right now.

How long do you think is the appropriate time i give him before i contact him? Everyday has been hell to me.

[Jerome]

If he loved you deeply he wouldn't have lasted more than a few day's without speaking to you.

When you contact him...Ask him what her name and age is.

[scrappydoo]

he's always been like that. he can last days without talking to me.

and there's no 3rd party. i checked and confirmed that with.

[LeonardEugen]

Hmmm.. My dear like i said in a other topic. Long distance relation ships don't tend to last. I don't know, when a person in a couple is saying that he or she needs a brake something is very vicious. 2 weeks is a lot and i think you need to call him, and perhaps to go over there to have a serious talk whit him face to face to see his reaction, not over the phone.
Take care.

[LoveHurts09]

he probably just dumped u in the cowardly way...unless ur going to see him again?

2 weeks is a long time to not even talk to u, pretty safe bet that he doesnt love u anyway.... if u want him back ur going to have to start again

[steelsword]

I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early twenties and is a very immature guy.

This is your main problem right here. You need to find a guy closer to your own age, who isn't afraid of commitment, which I think is possibly the problem with this guy.

Either that or there is someone on the side.

[scrappydoo]

Thanks. i'll keep you guys posted. I've decided to wait until 2 months. We have businesses together and we will have to talk about it and decide what to do with it.

[alovehangoverr]

You're waiting MONTHS for this guy?

Seriously-- there's no bouncing back from him loving you as a friend or SISTER only.

It sounds like he's ended things.. he's just too immature to follow through with it officially.

[Tug]

You tell him your unhappy, he tells you he loves you like a sister or a friend and now your missing him? How are your feelings going to change if he changes his mind and decides he wants you in his life?

Could it be possible you miss the thought of him? Just a suggestion.

[Rollerderby]

Thanks. i'll keep you guys posted. I've decided to wait until 2 months. We have businesses together and we will have to talk about it and decide what to do with it.

Two MONTHS?????

Honestly, when people are in love, they don't need to question it. He might just be scared of commitment, but you really should nip this in the bud and dump him officially. It sucks, and I'm sorry, but I don't think he's going to come back to you.

[padlock]

EVERYtime a woman has told he she wanted to, "cool things off, take a break, slow down, etc.", it was a prelude to her dumping me. From my experiences, it turned out she had met someone else and was keeping me around so she could test the waters with the other guy.