Trouble with the GF...

[NewToLove]

Here's a brief summary:

Been "going out" with this girl for 5 months, she's 15 and yes.. I'm 17, she's a Sophomore and I'm a Junior, met her by my friend after i got heartbroken by a stupid Junior whore/slut.. whatever..

So I'm her 1st boyfriend, I always make the move first...
Month 1-3, we were crazy bout each other I guess.. we made out, and tried new things... we would talk all the time IM, e-mail, myspace, phone, but then she got grounded from the phone.

month 3-4... I attempted a flirt and said "we kiss sloppy, we should practice more" and she stopped letting me make out with her and french kiss..

month 4-5.. it was slow, for i was stressing over a lot of things, like school and of course her, she wouldn't talk to me through IM, e-mail or myspace but she is willing to go through the trouble and get on IM to talk to one of her old friends...

today was the 5th month anniversary and upon getting my license recently, I went to buy her flowers, a card and a nicely written note inside of it...

You see, I love her, but the only time she shows me affection is when I beg(feels like it) for it and force it upon her almost...(feels like it).

She almost only exclusively shows affection when I seem uninterested in her, like I wouldn't give her my attention or when I'm sad, it's so stupid...

So back to the anniversary, Isn't she suppose to be happy I was thoughtful enough to get her something on the 5th month anniversary? well...

When I gave her the flowers, she said.. "what occasion is this?"
and I actually have to say its our 5th month together. She also blamed me for the flowers because it attracted so much attention and she didn't like it...

she told me people said "aww i wish i had a boyfriend that's that thoughtful" and she COMPLAINED ABOUT IT, WHAT THY HEAVENS IS SHE TRYING TO PROVE...

So it was the same day as progress report and she has 2 D's and was claiming that's what bothered her and I got pretty irritated because I tried making her feel like the most important person and special person because I love her.. and I... GET BLAMED FOR ALL THE SAD THINGS.. IT'S LIKE SHE ONLY LOVES ME WHEN I'M SAD AND DEPRESSED.

I was hoping to kiss her passionately, but she kept asking for gum and i hate it.. she used to nibble on my neck but she recently stopped.. she... I don't know what to say...

I don't think she loves me at all... anyone have any idea what she's thinking?

Im about to blow up because I've been stressing out already because of the 4 AP tests i'm taking in the next 2 weeks.

[vashti]

She acts like this because she is 15. Many 15 year old girls like the idea of having a boyfriend, and are curious about kissing and physical affection, but they do not have the same drive as boys and lose interest more quickly.

And yes, she SHOULD have been pleased about your gift. Why don't you look for a girl that appreciates you more? This one doesn't sound like she really wants a boyfriend all that much.

On another note - be careful about trying too hard to make things work out with any particular girl. Dating is supposed to be fun, and if you aren't having fun, it's time to call it quits.

[NewToLove]

Thanks.. you see.. all my friends told me to move on because she apparently and obviously doesn't appreciate me, but how can I move on when I love her so much?...

I believe she cares and love me, but maybe she doesn't know how to? I'm not sure, our communication isn't that well either, I've been trying to be more open and I have been, but feels like the more open i get.. the less open she is to me.

I was thinking.. should I be more straightfoward with my questions when talking to her?

because I always sugarcoat and indirectly ask of things i don't like or things I want of her.

[Rollerderby]

Thanks.. you see.. all my friends told me to move on because she apparently and obviously doesn't appreciate me, but how can I move on when I love her so much?...

I believe she cares and love me, but maybe she doesn't know how to? I'm not sure, our communication isn't that well either, I've been trying to be more open and I have been, but feels like the more open i get.. the less open she is to me.

I was thinking.. should I be more straightfoward with my questions when talking to her?

because I always sugarcoat and indirectly ask of things i don't like or things I want of her.

Dude, she won't even go on AIM to talk to you... That's pretty rough.

She loves you, and shows it by slamming your gift in front of all her friends. Nice. Love is hard I guess.

You need to man up. Sounds like she is responding to you the most when you don't fall all over her. She sounds co-dependent. Needs attention (like when you and the school gives it to her) but when you take it away from her, she suddenly realizes she has to work for your love.

And finally, this is a high school relationship. She's 15, and probably not the girl you will marry. It's ok to let her go and go looking for someone else.

[bbkeon]

Concentrate more on your friends and study, and less on her. Impress her by showing your talent on these thing (Study and also social network). If she still love you then all will goes well.....Good Luck dude, you still young if not, take it as an experience.

[NewToLove]

Take it as experience huh?... I do concentrate on my studies and I even took the trouble to make room for her too, I'm just wondering why she can't do the same for me, I'm currently taking 4 AP classes and doing alright, stressed out about the tests, but doing alright... I have no C's GPA of at least 4.0 at the moment, still not sure about final grades yet though, last semester I got 4.28 for my GPA, but I can't be too cocky yet.

[vashti]

Not all girls are impressed by grades (or whatever achievemnts you can name), but the RIGHT girl will be. Don't try to force THIS girl to be the right girl for you, hun.

[NewToLove]

I guess I won't force her, but I think it's time for me to tell her how I feel... I'll do it today..

I'll be going to school soon, but won't see her until after homeroom, odds are.. I won't talk about it until lunch, the problem is.. there isn't a place where we can sit down alone and she knows how to avoid talking about touchy subjects, I hate the fact she doesn't want to face it.

[sensitiveguy]

Yea man, I know it sounds hard to accept but she isn't mature enough yet for you. I don't want to sound cold and insensitive but even though you have strong feelings for her, they mean nothing if she doesn't feel at least some feelings for you after all this time. You should appear unphazed by her lack of intimacy with you and shrug it off.

If you insist in seeing this out, one thing perhaps you might be doing wrong is appearing to easy to get or making it to easy for her to be in control in the relationship. Make her work to get what she wants and reward her when she is doing something that pleases you like in normal conversation.

That just a few things I was thinking..again I'm not good at relationships but thats what I think. Hope it helps some!

[NewToLove]

Let me tell you some things about yesterday and today and us overall...

AT LUNCH... I had my head down at the table we usually sit at because I was tired.. stressed out.. my face is like breaking out and my eyes are blood shot red.. so I put my head down, she comes babying me, hugs me intimately, kisses me, strokes my hair and face...

WHY CAN'T SHE DO THAT REGULARLY?... I always have to appear as if I'm about to cut myself before she shows any intimacy

I asked her why she only "babies" me (show me affection) when I'm down in the dumps and stressed out or sad?

Me: "Why do you only baby me when I'm sad?"
Her: "Because I'm worried"
Me: "So you would only baby me when I'm sad?"
Her: "*laughs* you call that babying"

and she just ends the conversation there!! I wanted to know why can't she do that because she feels like it, not because I'm sad...

I swear, I think I'll be sad the rest of my life if that's the only thing that would make her show me she loves me.

Today I told her I needed a break because she's stressing me out...

Alex: "Babe, I need a break, your.. your stressing me out, I don't know how to explain it but you are"
Betty: "Okay *smiles*"
Alex: *silence*
Betty: Bye *still smiling*

... then I realized that I did something stupid and wrong so I went back to her after class, I didn't tell her why she was stressing me out or anything.. but couldn't she at least ask?

so after classes I went to pick her up at her's

Her: "aren't you suppose to be going to class?"
Me: "Sorry, I changed my mind, I don't want a break"
Her: *still smiling*

I walked her to 6th...
I felt irritated, how she can smile when I'm about to cry...

So then... before 6th, I tried to talk...

Me: *scratching my head* okay.. look..
Her: interrupts: Go back to your little break. *smiling*
Me: *Walks away while saying* "I have a tennis match today"
Her: Bye *in a happy voice*

I walked away.. ready to cry in front of everyone.
I even gave attitude to my friends that cared about me, I keep telling them what's going on, even Betty's friend, and they keep telling me that I need to "****ING MOVE ON" and I don't want to.. I keep trying but she won't let me win.

I get annoyed when she says "do you have gum?" all the time, grow up!! You can kiss me whether or not your breath is minty or not, it's a kiss I won't trade for anyone else's. when she asks me for gum, I usually think that my breath stinks and she's trying to tell me that. Dumb thing is.. my breath rarely stinks unless I had some onions or garlic.

WENDY, I'm so heartbroken by her, it's not funny... I gave her flowers and she still gave me a hard time.

It's like she loves seeing me in pain and sad, because apparently, when she's moody, I CAN'T BABY HER... this is strictly a 1-way high school relationship, and I don't want that

I feel like a total pussy in this excerpt I'm typing out to you people, but guess what, maybe I am?

i try so hard and fall flat on my ass, then I get back up ready to give it another shot and fall on my face, then with my last hope to succeed, I get stomped before I could get up.

[inneedofadvice]

She's 15. Not many 15 year old girls are ready to settle on one person, sorry to say. Unrequitted love sucks but what you do is your choice. If things continue the way they are going though don't stay in it and continue to get hurt.

[lolly25]

You need to remember she is 15, which is very young and she is not at a stage in her life where she is ready to be in a relationship.

It sounds like she does like you but is unsure and just wants to have fun, kiss you but not be in a proper relationship.

You are still very young your self and have a lot of learning to do when it comes to relationships and that is what you are doing.

Sorry to say but high school romances dont normally last and are just a bit of fun because it is not the time to be getting serious.

You can either talk to her and work things out and see what she wants and how she feels and be open about how you feel.

The other option is to call it quits now before you drag this out any longer and get even more hurt. You are still young and there are plenty more girls out there. Just enjoy being young free and single and have fun with your friends.

[Konart]

Dude...ditch this girl. She's not worth stressing over. You have plenty of time to find a girl that is right for you.

[NewToLove]

Thanks guys, am I allowed to thank everyone that has helped me make a decision? or is it more fair not to thank anyone at all? either way..

I plan on talking to her, but I didn't see her at all today or talk...

I had AP Calculus test today and wooo i failed it.. the Free response questions were off the charts HARDCORE HARD.