Help, I don't fit in.

[lilsunflower]

I was brought to the States by my parents when I just turned 18. I have been living in the States for almost 5 years since then.
I went to a local high school for one year and now I am almost graduating from a prestigious college. Through out the past 5 years, my English has improved a lot. ppl can still tell my accent but I can clearly express whatever I want to say and I don't have any trouble understanding conversation.
Most people like me because they think I have a good sense of humor and people laugh at my jokes.
However, I've been working at a student leadership position for a year. My peers are supposed to be the most inclusive and friendly and outgoing people but I am frustrated with them.
I feel I've been left out.(I am the only immigrant member in that group I am not sure if that's the reason) Like, they will invite me to a tour group to get a group of 4 discount. I don't feel like going but I wanted to fit in so I said yes. They cheered and acted happy and stuff. A couple days later they asked me to buy my individual ticket online because they found a 4th person.
I didn't end up going. I didn't feel like it anyways.

Same thing happens. When there is a one on one situation I normally have good conversation with people but once I am in a group, I just don't shine. I feel I always have to follow other people otherwise I end up walking by myself.
Help

[finnman]

Fitting in is quite often just an illusion we have due to our own insecurities. Just enjoy your time and be yourself because we all fit in differently. That's when you'll shine the most.

[Spring Haze]

You don't fit in, yet you didn't want to be part of the group. So what's the problem?

[stefan_m8y]

I was brought to the States by my parents when I just turned 18. I have been living in the States for almost 5 years since then.
I went to a local high school for one year and now I am almost graduating from a prestigious college. Through out the past 5 years, my English has improved a lot. ppl can still tell my accent but I can clearly express whatever I want to say and I don't have any trouble understanding conversation.
Most people like me because they think I have a good sense of humor and people laugh at my jokes.
However, I've been working at a student leadership position for a year. My peers are supposed to be the most inclusive and friendly and outgoing people but I am frustrated with them.
I feel I've been left out.(I am the only immigrant member in that group I am not sure if that's the reason) Like, they will invite me to a tour group to get a group of 4 discount. I don't feel like going but I wanted to fit in so I said yes. They cheered and acted happy and stuff. A couple days later they asked me to buy my individual ticket online because they found a 4th person.
I didn't end up going. I didn't feel like it anyways.

Same thing happens. When there is a one on one situation I normally have good conversation with people but once I am in a group, I just don't shine. I feel I always have to follow other people otherwise I end up walking by myself.
Help

I can see your problem and can understand why you may not want to be part of the group.

The only reson why it seems that you perform better in one 2 one situations, this is because you are speaking to the person who is on their own, this makes them listen to you and talk to you as if you are on the same level, this is the same with all humans. They will treat you as an equakl in 121 situations.

Now the reason why you have the feeling you have to follow the group is because you want to be part of a group that will not see past your history when they are in a group. This is natural because when you are in a group you will treat someone different to your group as different (in your case your nationality). It may sound stupid but its true. You should not follow as you said you are working for a student leadership, so go out there and stop tagging along and find a group of people who like you for you in 121 situations but more importantly as a group and who let you be part of that group and not just a tag along.
Hope this helps as you deserve to be treated differently, if you need anymore help just post your problem.

[Mish]

Fitting in can be very difficult, but on the bright side, does anyone really ever fit in? Build alliances with individuals, explore similarities and interests, do a bit more bonding with people in your group. Slowly things will change. If you want to look up to role models there are a lot of immigrants who made it to the top by utilising various interpersonal skills which can easily be developed. Look up to people like Sandra Nasic, not only does she have tremendous horrible accent when she sings, but she screams it out with pride and people love it!

[Doc Durian]

I was brought to the States by my parents when I just turned 18. I have been living in the States for almost 5 years since then.
I went to a local high school for one year and now I am almost graduating from a prestigious college. Through out the past 5 years, my English has improved a lot. ppl can still tell my accent but I can clearly express whatever I want to say and I don't have any trouble understanding conversation.
Most people like me because they think I have a good sense of humor and people laugh at my jokes.
However, I've been working at a student leadership position for a year. My peers are supposed to be the most inclusive and friendly and outgoing people but I am frustrated with them.
I feel I've been left out.(I am the only immigrant member in that group I am not sure if that's the reason) Like, they will invite me to a tour group to get a group of 4 discount. I don't feel like going but I wanted to fit in so I said yes. They cheered and acted happy and stuff. A couple days later they asked me to buy my individual ticket online because they found a 4th person.
I didn't end up going. I didn't feel like it anyways.

Same thing happens. When there is a one on one situation I normally have good conversation with people but once I am in a group, I just don't shine. I feel I always have to follow other people otherwise I end up walking by myself.
Help

If you're happy with your path, I wouldn't bother trying to mold yourself to others.. You'll meet more like minded folks as you age.

However, if fitting in is a career requirement or otherwise, assess the situation and weevil in. It's war in that case.

[Yggdrasil]

I think you don't need to fit into a group to feel good about yourself.

Frankly, who gives a hoot what others think? Does your self worth, your self esteem, you happiness, depends on others and their opinions about you?

What it all boils down to is this: people will come and go in your life, some will stay for a while, some will stay for even longer. Some are called acquaintances, some called friends, others lovers, partners and spouses.

But the one person, who always will be with you, from the day you are born till the day you die, is YOU. So, make sure YOU is happy without having to depend on others.

[Lipp]

Even if your" peers are supposed to be the most inclusive and friendly and outgoing people" it doesn't necessarily mean that they fit your preferences, and given what happened that's probably the case.

Do you usually remain quiet in groups while speaking confidently one-on-one, and that's the reason that you don't feel as though you "shine" in groups?

You'd might just be a bit more introverted, nothing wrong with that, if you can't find a group that you feel that you belong to you can just settle for swirling around and enjoying the company of the particular individuals that you meet instead. Don't become hooked on belonging to certain "cliques", it's mainly a high school thing that fortunately dissipates rapidly.