how would you feel if...

[Ashbee]

you just ended a 2 year realtionship. he done alot of nasty things etc etc and then got back in contact with them within a matter of weeks of ending it...they claimed to still love you and want to try again...and then you find out they slept with another girl and didnt even bother to tell you even though you also had sex with them again after they done it. Would you feel disrespected? hurt? annoyed? would you feel ok about it?

thoughts please.

[doppelgaenger]

Of course. You shouldn't feel okay about it. You were disrespected. Don't give them another chance.

[Ashbee]

i know i shouldnt give him another chance. i am so annoyed...
we were together a long time, lived together and were talking about our future.

[basshunter36]

i had a similar situation, where my gf left me because she was bored of it (because i wasnt affectionate and didnt make her feel loved) she went with another dude after because they had sexual attraction (no actual feelings) they didnt have sex but got close(foreplay) and well after i wrote her a letter she dumped the dude gave it some thought because she knew it was wrong and then she got back with me, i didnt take it that bad but its the kind of thing that stings in the back of your head. im hurt sometimes and it pops back up but at other times i tell myself it was nothing just something that happened but still its been recent at least for me and im still having trouble being completly confident about our relationship. anyways to wrap up. i dont know if you should feel disrespected. some people just want something different sometimes at some moment of their lives, but then realise what they had before was better and go back for it. its normal thought if you feel hurt or annoyed by it. its not easy to get by but over time it will be forgotten.

[Ashbee]

i ended the relationship with him because i didnt like some of things he was doing ( drinking alot ) along with other things. He said he was a zombie for the 1st 2 weeks of when we finished and was just drunk the whole time and thats when they slept together but
"it didnt work". then he told her he couldnt continue anything because he couldnt stop thinking about me. But i mean,we ended and he was just using her for company but she has ALWAYS been after him throughout our whole relationship.

[basshunter36]

it might hurt you more because she has been after him for a while, but in a sense HE was looking to try to fill in a void, because if he was taking it as badly as he was, its understandable that hes going to try to hang on to anything he can and the drinking certainly doesn't help make the best decisions. but what he did IMHO isnt that bad, he didnt cheat or do something while you were togheter. you just have to put things more in perspective because i dont know all the details or know either of you. but only you can figure to what level you can accept certain things and try to understand the situation entirely. his point of view as well as yours.

[doppelgaenger]

Well if you don't like how he drinks I think that's also another valid reason to get rid of him.

[Ashbee]

it might hurt you more because she has been after him for a while, but in a sense HE was looking to try to fill in a void, because if he was taking it as badly as he was, its understandable that hes going to try to hang on to anything he can and the drinking certainly doesn't help make the best decisions. but what he did IMHO isnt that bad, he didnt cheat or do something while you were togheter. you just have to put things more in perspective because i dont know all the details or know either of you. but only you can figure to what level you can accept certain things and try to understand the situation entirely. his point of view as well as yours.

but he promised me all the way through the relationship he was not interested in her and i should stop being so paranoid,and then the minute we break up he sleeps with her? i am more so annoyed that he led me to believe he hadnt done anything when i kept saying that i couldnt get over him and couldnt as much as let a guy buy me a drink... never mind sleeping with them.As the fact we had sex several times after and it was "special" and to think his **** had been up that slag ( yes she is known as a slag who will latch on to any bloke possible).

[basshunter36]

i guess that is a delicate situation, but another way you should think about things is people make mistakes, its hard to understand what people think , and all of this hurts and confuses 10x more when we talk about love that when its a normal friendship situation, its hard to clear up our minds because everything that seems wrong makes us feel like we've been cheated and lied to or that something isnt right when sometimes its not that big. like i said its really down to you to put things down into perpesctive, let things cool down and think a while about it before taking any decisions.

[Ashbee]

if i told you all the things he has done to me in the past i dont think you would be so kind about him...but me being stupid and thinking this guy is good for me keeps drawing me back. I wish i could just say "**** it,he was hurt... it doesnt matter" but how can i touch him again?

[IndiReloaded]

He's a turd, you know he's a turd, so why do you keep thinking about him? Do you think about your dumps this much after flushing? Or are you just relieved and ready to get on with things? Its not like he's had some life epiphany. Tell him to get lost, you deserve better.

[Ashbee]

He's a turd, you know he's a turd, so why do you keep thinking about him? Do you think about your dumps this much after flushing? Or are you just relieved and ready to get on with things? Its not like he's had some life epiphany. Tell him to get lost, you deserve better.

i keep thinking about him because we were settling down... we were inlove and making plans! he ment alot to me and i trusted him and i just cant believe how selfish and strange a human being can be... i am just puzzled.
i am ready to get on with things... i just need that extra push.

[IndiReloaded]

Humans do all sorts of things to each other, and themselves. Drop your astonishment about how selfish & strange people are. Just avoid the ones who are lower than you on the food chain. They will only drag you down & waste your time.

[ecojeanne]

i reckon you have a deep worry that he is the only person you will find to care about you. BULLSHIT. move on quickly and you will eventually find someone good enough for you if you want. don't let this guy manipulate you because of this insecurity that you may and likely have

[Ashbee]

i reckon you have a deep worry that he is the only person you will find to care about you. BULLSHIT. move on quickly and you will eventually find someone good enough for you if you want. don't let this guy manipulate you because of this insecurity that you may and likely have

your right. i fear that im never going to meet someone that will live up to our relationship...

thanks, you just made it so much more clearer