Please someone help me!

[dom58]

Ok this is my situation, its pretty common but tbh its killing me.

I met this girl at the end of November at a party and we hit it off. She was perfect, she made me laugh, smile and always have a very strange feeling in my stomach. I'd never had this feeling before
I had been in a realtionship about 9 months previous to this with a girl called sarah which was on and off for 3 years, I started dating sarah at 16 and we ended just before I turned 20, I loved sarah but never felt as strong about this new girl.

This 'new' girl is called Kylie, and shes a few months older than me.
We were going out for about 6 1/2 months or so, and had such an amazing time, we would have so much fun and the time would fly by so quickly when I was with her it was unreal!
We fell in love very quickly and would see eachother every day and make eachother feel so amazing.
We split up about a 2 months ago, I was a little upset but really didnt mind, I sort of thought in a way 'it doesnt matter, we will get back together'.
about 5 weeks ago I started missing Kylie like crazy, thought about her all the time, thought about what she was doing and if she missed me.
I found out she had met a new guy and I was devestated, i thought how could a girl who i thought cared so much about me suddenly want to be with someone else....this guy lasted 8 days

I tried everythign to get Kylie back
I wrote her a hugggge Love letter
I texted her loads
called her
bought her flowers, chocolates , her favorite artist's cd's.....but nothing

I hadnt slept for weeks, eaten at all and became very very depressed.

Kylie said she would meet me after work to talk about everything, I thought 'GREAT, she wants to meet me, this must mean i have a chance'
She met me after work and we sat in my car. I poured my heart out, told her how i'd never felt this way before, how everything she does makesme smile, and how that all the little things she does when shes happy,angry, sad make my stomach do cartwheels.
Kylie sat there straight faced and said 'Dom, I'm sorry....we cant happen again'.
It felt like someone had shot me in the heart and then was stamping on it. My body went stiff and then suddenly I lost all feeling in my heart. I sat there and pleaded, begged,asked what i can do to do anythign and she said 'Im sorry dom please just stop' then she began to cry,got out of my car and left.

I was devestated, my whole world seemed like it meant nothing.
I drove home, sat in my room, drew my blinds and sat in my room in darkness. I didnt feel like doing anything. I went downstairs, openedmy parents alchol cuboard and pulled out a bottle of vodka and began to drink. I drank, and drank and drank,was sick and drank some more. My body started hurting but took the pain of my broken heart away. My mum came into my room and burst into tears asking 'what the hells wrong, why are you doing this to yourself'. I sat there very drunk saying all these thigns about myself and she cried even more.
I woke up the next morning and felt lowezy but went to work and tried to carry on my life.

For about 3 days I put on a brave face, I'd go to work, smile, act happy....then go home and be extremly depressed

I carried on trying to get my ex to talk to me but she wouldnt.
I i thought screw it, theres nothing else I can do now and have nothing to loose. So I went into the shop she worked at and walked up to her and said 'Kylie, I love you ok, Ive been stupid and not thoguht anything through, All i think about is you, all i want is you. I want to be the guy that can say hes the luckiest guy in the world and be proud to say that hes your boyfriend'
There was a deathly silence.......seemed like it went on forever
She said 'ok dom thank you, ill text you later'

To cut a long story short we went for a drink the following wednesday and had a really nice chat and she said 'do you no what, this is probably the best time ive ever spent with you', when we left the pub we said bye, hugged and then kissed. It felt amazing to feel her lips again.
The next day i called her to say whats happening and she said she felt the feeligns to wen we kissed.
I thought OMG, THIS IS AMAZING, IVE GOT A CHANCE AGAIN.
I went and saw her at work and asked her what days she had free coming up and she told me. I thought wow ive done it

That saturday I went out with alot of friends to a club, i decided that I'd drive to this club, leave my car there over night and then pick my car up in the mornign. So i was havign a good night and then found out that Kylie was at a club 2 minutes around the corner from me, so i texted her sayin 'Hey Im by the club your at, come outside and say hi'......by this time i was very very drunk
We talked for 5 mins but i sensed she was very very angry at me...and she left
I was beside myself not knowing what i had done, i called, and texted and she wouldnt answer....so i did something that Ive hated myself for since last saturday.....I drove to her house....very drunk from the club.
I turned up at her house and she went balistic at me, she shouted, swore, hit me and then took my keys off me and went into her house.
I kept calling her saying 'GIVE MY KEYS BACK' and she said shut up and go to sleep, so i went to sleep in my car and she saidto me 'Look you can sleepon the couch and go home in the morning' but i was to stubborn and said no id sleep in my car.
The next morning came and she gave my keys back and went into her house, not saying a single word to me.5 mins later she came outside and talked to me and said 'Ive lost all respect for u, u scaredme last night....were over dom'

I accepted defeat and left. I sat there all day thinking 'if i hadnt of done that everything would have been ok'
I went tomy local florist and bought a £30($45) bouqiet of roses and took them to her work and said how sorry i was. She turned around and said they were beautiful but nothign was going to happen.
Later on she said that all her ex'sare stalkers on her fb and the guy who she dated for 8 days was joking about with her bout it.

I texted her last night saying that this whole situation sucks, that everythign that happend is shit and that we hadsuch fun togteher and now its been ruined

she text back and we texted a bit today and i asked if theres any chance we can catch up this week and she said she would letme know.....
I think that she wont text me tho

I have the whole week off work and nothing to do, shes working in a store in London tomorrow and on Tuesday.
London is about an hour and a bit by train from where I live
Now what do I do

Wait and see if she wants to meet up during the week
Or suprise her in london and tellher how I feel face to face

Please help me

I cant eat
Sleep
or think about anyone else

Thanks
Dom /Kent UK/20/Heartbroken

[alovehangoverr]

Well, a good starting question is why did you break up in the first things if everything was so great and perfect?

Regardless of the reason-- you need to back the hell off.. not just for her sake, but for yours. As it stands now you're coming off incredibly pathetic, obsessed, and yes-- definitely stalkerish. Showering her with gifts? Constantly calling/texting her? Showing up at her WORK? [A SERIOUS NO-NO. That's her job. Not a place for you to bring your drama into because she's not giving you the attention you want.] Driving to her house drunk? Seriously. No.

Just.. no.

Back off.