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Thread: Can this work?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    12

    Can this work?

    I'm in love with a girl in my class and I can tell that she likes me too. She is very sociable and outgoing while I am somewhat shy and don't go out that much. I've always thought that it should be the other way around. If I were to make my move would this relationship work?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    Nobody knows, your chances are 50/50 if you try, 0 if you don't.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    27
    I am going to give you a moderately short, and stern reply, that should contain what you need to hear...

    The first thing that you need to do... Stop thinking that you are in love with her, at least until you are actually together for a while. Now obviously, love is a beautiful thing. But social conditioning has influenced us in such a way that when we think that we are in love, we begin to hypnotise ourselves. And all it does is cloud our judgement if we start thinking with our hearts. And then we make stupid decisions, and become outcome oriented. What I mean by this, is that you are putting your happiness in someone else's hands. I.e. If she turns you down, it will have a huge negative effect on you. Also, you may put too much pressure on her, if she picks up on you "love" through your sub-commusications and may think you're neurotic or creepy - creepy is bad.
    On the other hand, if you approach her with a "lets see what happens" mentality, she will pick up on your relaxed attitude , and when you take the pressure off her to say yes, it makes saying yes easier.

    Also, don't forget that she has friends. So when you ask her, another way to take the pressure off, is by NOT asking her in front of them.
    note: cool and relaxed is good... but that does not mean "let her walk all over you". Remember, she is not your superior, you must be equal if you get into a relationship.

    So yes, make your move, but be cool. And she probably already knows you to some extent, so the fact that she is more outgoing than you should not make a difference - she already knows!

    Hope this helped...

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