3rd date too soon for sex???

[mcomc1]

Hi All, I am 24 he is 26. So I went to HS w/ this guy havent seen him in about 8 yrs...I requested him as a friend online he accepted & messaged me saying we should hang out sometime, so I went over to his house we went to dinner & back to his place to watch a movie. Toward the end of the night, we started making out. He asked when he could see me again & we made plan for the following week, I went to his house & we stayed in & just watched a movie again made out on his bed, I could feel that he was really hard & he lifted me onto him in "riding" position, we didnt do anything more then make out & I asked him to stop as I didnt want him to think I was a tease & made it clear that we were not going to have sex.He did tell me that he liked me in the mist of kissing. We are going on a third date & I am wondering an opinion on weather or not it is too soon to have sex. I dont want to come off as easy, as I am not. I want to get to know someone & eventually end up w/in a relationship, which I expressed to him. I am also in the process of getting divorced after 7 yrs, so I am not familiar w/ adult relationships. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[ecojeanne]

i have wondered about this myself. once you open the door to sex that's it, it will be expected each time. i kinda think if you are unsure then don't, wait a bit longer to get to know him better. 3 dates isn't necessarily enough time to gauge whether he is a decent guy.

just my thoughts

[Chupacabras]

Many people think that the third date is pretty standard for the first time, my personal opinion is anytime after the third. This is assuming a normal dating progression.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you've only been on "Blockbuster" dates and even made it into his bedroom on the second date. The signal I'd get from that is setting up for a friend with benefits or a booty call.

I'd advise taking a step back from the physical and start insisting on proper dates; you're not making him work for it and a guy that doesn't have to work for your favor isn't going to stick around. IOW's, don't sleep with him yet if what you really want is a relationship.

[navybones]

Ah but alas, is there alcohol involved?

Just saying, contributing factor for things going down on date's 1 and 2 should things go swimmingly in the conversation pit.

[Gigabitch]

You're not really doing the kind of dating that DOESN'T lead to sex on the third date. You're hanging out at his house, "watching movies". That, in case you're unclear, is a clear indication to him that you're willing to have sex with him.

There's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's what you want. Do you want to have sex with him? Then do it. if you don't, stop going over to his house, where his BED is.

[Yggdrasil]

made out on his bed, I could feel that he was really hard & he lifted me onto him in "riding" position, we didnt do anything more then make out & I asked him to stop as I didnt want him to think I was a tease & made it clear that we were not going to have sex.

Did he stop right away?

[moonfairy_2002]

yes, its too soon. He hasn't put in any real work into forming a relationship. After you have sex he will bail.

[mcomc1]

so the third date has come & gone, no sex. However, I need so much help it's sick, I have no clue how to date...no joke. Anyways at the end of the night, we went back to his house, & upstairs to his room (as he has roomates who had friends over). we made out & in the middle he would stop & stare & tell me how beautiful I am & he told me that he really likes me a lot. He said that whenever I am ready to have sex with him he will be too, he said "I really want to **** u" weather i have to wait 1 or 2 or 3 mos I will. He said he wants to be with me & get to know me. Tell me what u think...please!!!

[Cbrider]

where his BED is.

Who says it requires a bed?

-----------------------------------

Its a personal choice, everyone is going to acclimate and become comfortable with sex at a different pace. I have done it on the first date, I have done it after a dozen dates. Depends completely on your level of comfort and how YOU feel.

I would recommend against first dates, just too many surprises that can happen.

[ecojeanne]

ugh he said he really wanted to **** u?! classy.

[moonfairy_2002]

ugh he said he really wanted to **** u?! classy.

RUN!!!!!!!

[mcomc1]

I am thinking the same thing...run. However, maybe he just spurrs from the mouth, & doesnt have good word choices?? idk. anyways, he called me 3x last week asking if we could hang out, we arranged for Saturday then on saturday he called me saying that a fam member of his went to the ER & he had to watch his nephew. So, he had to cancel. I turned around & a few days later contacted him via email asking if he wanted to catch a movie...should I have not contacted him, I dont want him to get the impression I am attached or desperate...did I make a mistake by messageing him????

[JohnnyGileaid]

I am wondering an opinion on weather

Well, I think it is supposed to rain next week. Depends whether or not you trust the weather channel.

[lesa]

We are going on a third date & I am wondering an opinion on weather or not it is too soon to have sex. I dont want to come off as easy, as I am not. I want to get to know someone & eventually end up w/in a relationship, which I expressed to him. I am also in the process of getting divorced after 7 yrs, so I am not familiar w/ adult relationships. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

If you don't want to come off as easy then don't BE so easy. You say you want to get to know someone & eventually end up with a relationship. What kind of relationship? At this point, what does sex have to do with it except cloud your reasoning?

[SandBill]

There are no rules about how many dates is too soon, or how soon you should email someone.

The real question you should ask yourself is if you are comfortable around him and if you trust him.

No one here can tell if he is pressuring you into sex, or if he just really wants you. You have to judge for yourself -- do you feel like he is pressuring you? If yes, then don't expect a relationship. If no, then you can sleep with him whenever you feel comfortable doing so, be it tonight or next year.