Head in the shed

[welshman26]

Good evening all, advice is really needed here. I have been with my other half for 5 years now, we are engaged, and have a 17 months old son. I beleive in always being there for your kids, however, i have been a bit naughty. i think I am falling in love ith someone else. I love my other half very much and i love my son (that goes without saying) but this other girl has a massive grip on me. She has told me she is falling in love with me, but she also has a partner too, who is also a mate of mine. And i am shamed to say that i am starting to feel the same too. If i was single it would be an easy choise, the other girl. but im not. and here is where the problem lies. i love my other half and son, but i cant get the other girl out of my head, what should i do ??????? Help please

[Yggdrasil]

You're not in love, you're infatuated.

You want my advice?

Break all contact with this other woman and focus on your relation and your child.

Relations are hard work and I asume you haven't put in the work with your current partner to keep the love and mutual respect high.

[welshman26]

your prob right, but i cant get her out of my head, at all

[Yggdrasil]

Well, I can't tell you how to get her out of your head, but I can show you where your priorities should be.

If you really love your partner, as you say, you should know what to do.

As I said before, relations are hard work and I guess that you (both) have been taking eachother for granted instead of nuturing and kindling mutual respect, love and appreciation.

Maybe that's where you should start?

Oh, btw, you've posted this under 'introduce yourself'.

I think you'll get more replies and opinions if you'd post this under 'love advice'.

[welshman26]

i know, it honestly kills me to think i could even contemplate even thinking about someone else like that, but the more i try not to think about it the more i think about it, catch 22 if you ask me

[Yggdrasil]

i know, it honestly kills me to think i could even contemplate even thinking about someone else like that, but the more i try not to think about it the more i think about it, catch 22 if you ask me

It's only a catch 22 if you want it to be a catch 22.

Life is made of choices and sticking to those choices, no matter how hard they are and no matter what the consequenses.

I know what choice I would make.

You'll have to figure out for yourself what choices you will make and deal with the consequenses of those choices.

Not sure if I am making sense here.

[welshman26]

lol you are making perfect sense, and to be fair I know all this, but, still cant stop what i am feeling, or think i'm feeling. Are you religous ?

[Yggdrasil]

lol you are making perfect sense, and to be fair I know all this, but, still cant stop what i am feeling, or think i'm feeling. Are you religous ?

In a way. Religion has nothing to do with this though.

This is probably going to sound weird, but what you are feeling are chemical reactions within your brain.

Usualy people become infatuated with someone else because something is missing in their relation with their partner, be that intimacy, communication, appreciation,...

There are ways to rekindle that in your relation with your current partner, if that is what you want.

But it will require the both of you to do that work and keep on top of it.

That's about all the advice I can give.

[Yggdrasil]

Actualy, this website may be of help:

[url]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html[/url]