Why can't I Love?

[Gribble]

Such a lame title but I'm curious.

I've been seeing this chick for a couple months or so. Not long ago we took a trip to the country and had some good times. A real bonding experience. I know her interest in me increased a great deal.

Problem is that for some reason my interest in her has plummeted. I'm not sexually attracted to her anymore. I mean, if she jumps on me my equipment will still function, but up until that point I have no desire to initiate anything.

I don't want to speak to her at all. Not over the phone. Not in person. Especially not in person. I have no desire to hang out with her.

Any interaction I have with her is a chore. And this change wasn't gradual. We went on the trip. Had a great time. The whole trip I wanted to **** her brains out. Really, really enjoyed being with her. Then I got home and spent a couple days away from her and all those feelings disappeared.

Ever have a pet that you really don't want but you feel obligated to take care of? This relationship is that unwanted pup. I'd feel awful breaking up with her but I have absolutely no interest left.

This is pretty much what happens with any girl I date longer than a couple weeks.

[misombra]

you have a heart of thorns.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYNzzNPYOVs&feature=related"]YouTube - Corazon Espinado[/ame]

[vashti]

Have you ever been dumped? Or are you always the dumper?

[Gribble]

I don't often give the girl enough time to dump me. When I do get dumped it's because I'm in a situation like this. It comes as a relief.

[vashti]

I don't often give the girl enough time to dump me. When I do get dumped it's because I'm in a situation like this. It comes as a relief.

Of course, pop psych would blame your relationship with your mother. Personally, I think you just haven't met the right girl yet. YOu are still pretty young, and it isn't unusual for a guy your age to be sowing his wild oats.

PS - about the title of your thread: you DO love. You love your sister. This means you aren't broken; you just haven't clicked with the right one yet.

[misombra]

i asked my bf and he says you haven't met the right woman.

[misombra]

damn vashhh you beat me!

[vashti]

Great minds think alike.

[CocoChanel]

If you don't want her... don't waste her time and yours. Just break up with her.

[Yggdrasil]

Gribble,

I see a few possibilities there:

- You're still looking for the right one;

- Your gut feelings (subconsious) is telling you something about these galls;

- You're not ready (yet) for a longterm commitment;

- You're (subconsiously) afraid of being dumped or rejected so you beat them to it;

- Probably another 20 or 30 possible reasons.

I wouldn't worrie to much about it if I'd be you. There's absolutely no reason to hurry yourself into a longterm relation or settle for less than what you are aiming for.

[Gribble]

Blah. It would be so nice if I could get laid (and still enjoy it) without putting in all the effort of meeting someone and courting them. Oh well. I guess it's time to think up a good "It's not you, it's me" speech and get screamed and wept at again.

[CocoChanel]

Good Luck Gribble. I hope a woman comes along and sweeps you off your feet :|

[Doc Durian]

Maybe you need to find the right one, enjoy her company, want to be with her every waking moment, love her to death, only to be told by her that she has no feelings for you, that she seldom gets attached to fellows, it's not you....but her, as she watches you pout and sob.

[Aeradalia]

You need a challenge... someone to really catch you off guard. This has become a far too predictable game for you. I've noticed that people who have successful longterm relationships are with those who keep them interested, guessing, and even, dare I say it, feeling young.

I think when you meet a girl who doesn't fall for your bullshit... ignores you... then eventually learns to tolerate you on a 'friends-only' basis... and just gives out just the tiniest hope of getting somewhere with her... you'll be here posting about what a wonderful, mysterious, and intelligent girl you simply must have. If she can not only counter your tactics... but throws a few of her own your way... you'll probably be in ecstacy...

However, she'll also have to be the kind that keeps you on your toes, especially after a relationship has been established. Not a bitch per se, just a little smarter than you... a little quicker to beating you to the punch... but slow enough to give you hope that you'll win... and maybe even have you win against her... in both the bedroom and in the battle of the minds.

Face it... you're not being satisfied completely... there's more to sex than the thrill of the chase and ****ing... The largest sex organ is the brain... and it isn't being properly stimulated.

[IndiReloaded]

Set your sights higher if you want a more permanent relationship. You choose women that are too easy for you to 'get'. Thus, they don't hold value to you. Noone will love someone who they don't think has value.

You like smart girls w/goals. Start asking out young doctors.

EDIT: I agree with D, sounds to me you've dated 'smart' girls but not one who is actually smarter than you. They are out there, see what happens when you try for one of those. Post here, we'll help.