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Thread: dont know what to do

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    dont know what to do

    hello everybody, couple of months ago my girlfriend broke up with me after a year, and this was made all the more upsetting because i genuinley wasnt sure what the reason was.

    I should tell you now she is suffering with an eating disorder, pretty badly and the last time i was with her before we broke up she told me she hadnt had a meal apart from when i had taken her for dinner for 2 months. Normally when stuff like that has happened, ive tried to give he a shoulder to cry on and be supportive, but on this occasion i kinda got quite annoyed and had a bit of a go at her. We didnt fall out, but i kind of let her know that unless she sorted it out she was going to end up in hospital.

    It was a really good day though, we both had fun. In the four days between then and us breaking up, she must have text me everyday saying that she loved me, including texting me a love heart literally 12 hours before we broke up.
    Anyway, i was on the train to meet her when she texts me saying that she was sorry. I replied asking her why she was sorry, and she replied "for what i have to tell you."

    Obviously then i relaised something was wrong, and what was going to happen, so i text back asking why she wanted to break up and she text back saying we should split because things were different now. The next day she said we split up because i didnt seem that bothered about making an effort to improve the relationship, and the next day it was because i never put her first. Then about a week later, she drunkenly phoned me and said it was because she needed to be on her own becuase then no-one could tell her what to do and she didnt need to tell anyone anything.

    She also said she was sorry for trying to make out it was all my fault but she didnt know if she could have a boyfriend just now. So basically, because of her eating disorder. We were kind of still on speaking terms, but i text her one night, nothing heavy, just like "hey, what you upto", and didnt reply, so i decided i wasnt texting her again.

    A couple of nights later, i was hammered and bumped into her best pal in the pub, and i was talking to him about the situation, and i drunkenly told him that i was really sad we had broken up and i really loved her. He obviously told her this, and the next night she text me saying "hey, i heard you were talking to alan last nite? "

    my reply kind of steared it away from that, as i was a bit embarrased by what i said, and i was just like "yeah, i was hammered, cant really remember. Hows things?"

    Since then, she has text me quite a few times, and even phoned me one night but i missed her call and couldnt phone back as i had no talk time. I should just have phoned back the next day but for some reason i didnt.
    Over the course of the relationship her personlaity and behaviour changed greatly.

    She went from being a talkative confident funny girl to being shy, withdrawn and quiet. We still got on great 95% of the time as i knew the reason she had changed was because of her issues.

    What do you all make of this situation then? I know she has messed me about, but i really do love her. Any advice/opinion what so ever would be much appreciated. Cheers lads:\)

  2. #2
    s_b's Avatar
    s_b is offline Registered User
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    She's doesn't seem to know what she wants....she's seeking your attention but the clarity you need from her is if it's for friendship or more. Personally i think she's a very insecure person.

    Go ask her what it is she wants with the texts/phone calls she keeps making - you'll get the clarity you need to either reconcile or move on.

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