really stuck for help..please any advice..

[beautiful4]

im 20, currently dating the most amazing guy after a year *john, to find out that on of my ex's *paul is getting married, at first i was shocked, but now its only a matter of days until he does, its getting to me.

me and paul only dated for a couple months over 2 years back, but there was something there. but he broke it off. i went to my friends that night for comfort, only to recieve a text asking where i was, as he had run all the way back to my house in the pouring rain knocking on my door for ages waiting for me to answer as he made a massive mistake. i told him id speak to him once i was back home, and by then he said it was best for us to just leave it and see how things panned out. for weeks on end he kept asking if he ever wanted to come back could he and i always said i didnt know.

a few months later and to get around it like a stupid girl does i flirted and ended up seeing a boy for a week or two, who does know paul, he told paul if he knew i had a new bf and paul said no. then said it was him. and he was shocked.

2 weeks later hes dating a girl he met. 2 years on there getting married this week.
i feel rubbish and i dont know why, if i had been there that night maybe things were different. theres something about her that isnt right, and thats not just me being bitchy. she invited me to the wedding.

i dont know if i should email him to tell him good like and his gf is v lucky.

if i do i feel like im cheating on my current bf, who i love to pieces, id do anything for him and tho i want to marry him one day ive begun to wonder if i do now, because this suprise of the ex marrying has turned my world upside down.
please anythoughts.
xx

[Bumble_bee]

It is possible your having these feelings because of the missed connection, and that's all this is, your wondering about the what ifs, and the shoulda, woulda, coulda's....

let it pass go to the wedding give him your best and don't spoil things btwn you and your current bf, and your ex and his soon to be wife. not worth the heartache.

[beautiful4]

i think you got it in one.
"shoulda woulda coulda means im out of time, shoulda woulda coulda means i cant change your mind"

i think that's what it is, i feel a loss of control.
totally right. cant ruin what is now. just gulp it down and get on with it until it goes.

[icelady1983]

You need to realise that you can not change what happend in the past and leave everything that happend in the past. If you carry on like this you will end up ruining your life and loosing the love and good relationship which you have with your current boyfriend.

Everyone has their shuda, woulda, etcs but a part of life is learning to leave those in the past and get on with your life.

If you and Paul are destibed to be together or if you was meant to be together then that night in the past would have happend or you will end up getting together in the future. No one can predict life and what happens.

Just enjoy being with your current boyfriend who clearly loves you, enjoy life and leave the past in the past.

[Gigabitch]

Stay out of it. What the hell is wrong with you? How would you like it if you were getting married and Paul popped up into your life?

Don't contact him and don't go to that wedding. That's none of your affair any more.

[IndiReloaded]

Sounds like sour grapes to me. He's obviously not into you at all. Whatever connection you think you had is long gone, he's getting married so he loves his wife. Deal with it by finding someone of your own to love.

Why is it the beautiful ones are dumb as rocks?

[Mr.Meat]

Get objective third party professional advice immediately and then take it.