Leading me on or not?

[everton11]

Hi, everyone. I know this girl for about 10 months now, and I asked her out about six months ago, then I ask if she would like to be in a relationship with me five months ago. She said she wanted to wait and see.

So we stayed friends, and last night, I mentioned to her about how I was led on by this one girl a year ago, and that she got married after I was basically a little bitch for her for a long time. And I told her that I don't want to be hurt in the same way anymore, and asked if there are any possibility of us being together.

She said that she just wants to enjoy the moment and that we are just friends, what happens in the future she doesn't know. She believes that everything happens for a reason and that if we are going to be together, we will.

Then I basically asked if she will tell me when the time comes that, either she realizes she wants to be in a relationship with me or that she finds another person who she rather be with. She agreed after some hesitation.

I'm 25 and she is almost 24, well, we come from every different background as she has had many relationship that fails and that I had one that turned into a "leading me on". I wanted a relationship and she doesn't feel she needs to be in one. But, she wants me to be around her.

So guys and gals, I know this is very common, but what are your thoughts on this? I usually do not cry, and I didn't cry in the last relationship. But I cried last night thinking about this (she cried during the conversation...). I'm confused and really don't know what to think.

Thank you so much and any inputs on this will be appreciated!

[lisalee.lf]

I'm happy to see you are still a good guy at least, who want to set a relationship with your gf.
Just like you said, she comes from different backgroud, different experience makes her different.
If you choose her, you must know this and accept this.
Another important thing is you have to be yourself, don't never ever be leaded by others, not even your gf.
You can focus on some other things, like working, hobbies, male friends.
If she find your competence or sth touchs her, she will come back to you. Another possibility is she totally doesn't agree with you. If in that case, I don't think you still have objection to leave her.

[SAVANAH]

Seems like she might be hiding something from you or something could be holding her back, cause if she was so upset then she probably does like you and wants to be with you....
I say move on with you live, she obviously has issues and doesn't need you smothering her and working through those issues may take weeks; months even years. so enjoy your life and if she comes to her senses and your single then go for it,

moving on is not easy but definitely worth it!

[lastwish]

She said she just wants to be friends with you now. So, you have to accept that. She might be leading you on until she finds someone better or she feel she needs to know you better first. I wouldn't put a final judgement on her for now.

My advice is for you take it easy on your emotions. Enjoy her company while you seek out other women. There's no point of putting so much investment into someone who clearly isn't ready to commit yet.

[everton11]

I understand, I guess for now I will just act as if this is a "no". I will still hang out with her, but I'm sure it will not be anything more than friends. (no flowers, etc.)

I been down this road before and I know I'm not going to crumble on this one.

[soulsurvivor23]

So question, prior to last night's conversation what was your relationship/friendship like?

[GoldenNickel22]

I think you really have a good connection, and that you should leave things be the way they are, despite your past. The past doesnt determine future. You can make your own future, and right now it sounds like you're in a really good place, and that you shouldn't rush.

Good luck!

Hi, everyone. I know this girl for about 10 months now, and I asked her out about six months ago, then I ask if she would like to be in a relationship with me five months ago. She said she wanted to wait and see.

So we stayed friends, and last night, I mentioned to her about how I was led on by this one girl a year ago, and that she got married after I was basically a little bitch for her for a long time. And I told her that I don't want to be hurt in the same way anymore, and asked if there are any possibility of us being together.

She said that she just wants to enjoy the moment and that we are just friends, what happens in the future she doesn't know. She believes that everything happens for a reason and that if we are going to be together, we will.

Then I basically asked if she will tell me when the time comes that, either she realizes she wants to be in a relationship with me or that she finds another person who she rather be with. She agreed after some hesitation.

I'm 25 and she is almost 24, well, we come from every different background as she has had many relationship that fails and that I had one that turned into a "leading me on". I wanted a relationship and she doesn't feel she needs to be in one. But, she wants me to be around her.

So guys and gals, I know this is very common, but what are your thoughts on this? I usually do not cry, and I didn't cry in the last relationship. But I cried last night thinking about this (she cried during the conversation...). I'm confused and really don't know what to think.

Thank you so much and any inputs on this will be appreciated!

[Yggdrasil]

You go with the flow and stop being so controlling.

Whatever will happen, will happen.

[everton11]

I really do appreciate this, guys and gals. Prior to Monday night, we were friends who are interested in each other. We went out on dates and I brought her flower every so often. So she clearly knows that I like her. And of course, she gave me more attention than girls usually give me.

Well, one problem is that... I was stupid, one thing I left out is that on Monday night I told her what my friend thought of her. One of my best friend, a guy, mentioned to me that she is too immature to be with me, and that I should walk away as she doesn't have much to offer me, and then he ask if I want the same thing to happen over again (with the last girl who led me on and used me)? It was when she started to cry. I told her that I do not agree with what he said, but it is the fear that I have. I don't want to be led on for a year just to end up seeing her marrying some other guy (that was what happened). And I asked if she can be honest to me when she does find someone who she rather be with.

I know this is childish and immature, and shows I'm insecure and possessive. I regret what I said, I want to take it back but I can't. I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, but I do plan on talking to her this weekend (if she will answer the phone), and tell her to forget what I ask her to do, who she date and who she wants to be with is her business. We are just friends, and shouldn't make it so complicated.

This week I thought about it, and I guess this is the action I will take.

What do you think? Do you think because of this I really did ruin our friendship? And possibly damage the chances of being in a relationship with her?