At a crossroads with my bf of 4 years and I'm not sure how to go forward from here..

We have some great points that we connect on and some big obstacles that push us apart. The love, affection, and chemistry is there. He is a very stable guy, which balances my impulsiveness well. I think if it weren't for one or two big problems, we could be really stable and I can see us spending our lives together.

The biggest problem: I moved to Europe when I was 19, for a guy. We had a very rocky relationship. Unfortunately, I got pregnant at 20. We tried to make it work but at 22 decided everyone would be happier if we separated. We have developed a strong friendship and parenting has been smooth and enjoyable together. Although he has married and has another daughter, we are all friends and share similar goals in life as well as parenting duties.

Ever since I had my son, I have felt trapped here and have desperately wanted to come home to the US. I miss my family, I miss my culture. I visit a couple of times a year but it never feels like enough. My son's dad is also amenable to a move to the states, which means it could be a realistic possibility to keep the current custody situation as stable as possible for our son's sake. This decision is entirely up to me, and there is always the possibility that I will be a single mom-- after all my son's dad's responsibility lies with his new family-- and I fully accept that possibility.

The problem is my bf. Over the past year, we have been on and off because he has lived in this city his entire life and can see no reason to move-- not even for a few years so that we could stay together. He hasn't specifically said he won't move, but his words and actions prove it is something he really doesn't want to do. This problem has been just under the surface without resolution for so long that I'm afraid it's going to get to the point where I will just have leave-- only I already tried that once and ended up running right back to him, and back into this situation. I discovered that it's harder to leave him than I thought.

I am completing my master's degree in a year, so that would be my next chance to move. I am driving myself nuts, throwing scenarios back and forth in my mind. What if he won't come with me? Is he worth staying here for, or will I regret not getting to go home for the rest of my life? How will I handle not having him in my life anymore if I decide going home is more important? And if he agrees to one year in the states, will I even be able to enjoy it knowing it was something he really didn't want to do?

I know that no one can give me the answers but I am desperate for an outside view on this situation. We don't live together but have been discussing it, but I refuse to do it until we resolve this. He tends to push problems under the rug but I know this can't last forever. Eventually we will have to decide one way or the other.

I guess what I am trying to see clearly is what is important: compromising to the point you are giving up something you want very badly for someone you care about, or driving towards something you want hard enough that you might lose someone you care about? How much is too much to give up?