need advice

[drazilice]

i have been with my girlfriend for at least 7 months now but something that REALLY bugs me about her is how defensive she gets. for example we were watching a movie together while talking through aim and even though there are scenes where girls have on bikini's she sends me messages saying "dnt look at her boobs" and "i know you were looking at them" n she gets mad at me n wont talk to me prob for the rest of the night. n it gets me aggrivated because i never tell her to not look at a guy i mean its a freaking movie so what, i cant help where the freaking camera goes and my line of sight n once again ITS A MOVIE!!! the characters/actors obviously do not mean anything to me if im with her. what can i say or do??

[Bumble_bee]

she sounds pretty insecure...

There isn't much you can do about it really, I mean if she is going to get upset over a film, god forbid you ever look at a real chick, she might flip out. All you can do is give her lots of reassurance that you find her attractive.

when she throws a fit, ignore her, don't let her make this reaction a habit by apologising to her when you have done nothing wrong.

[drazilice]

thanks, although this isnt the first time it happend. i always tell her that im inlove with her and none of those people matter because she is the one i want to be with and its just a movie, but it seems like im the bad 1 and im starting to feel wrong about it when i know i shouldnt but i dont know what to do, i never been in a realtionship where my gf would tell me not to look at the movie because of a certain thing. it just angers me because i dnt kno what to do or say when she says that, its either i say "im not looking" n then she goes ahuh and says your lying or i say "yea i was looking" and sound like a douche so either way im screwed.. is there a certain way i should talk to her or confront her about it?

[Bumble_bee]

well yeah, she needs to relax, It must be that she is insecure, mainly about whether you find her as attractive is those girls she sees- on the tv, in the mags.

Telling her you love her will not make her feel sexy, maybe loved.
Next time this happens, when she calls you out looking at a hot chick on tv, turn to her and tell her something like << she's not as hot as you>>

As I said before, you have nothing to be sorry about, but knowing what her insecurities are and reassuring her will build it from there.

[drazilice]

once again thanks alot you are my savior! i'll do exactly that and see how everything turns out =)

[little pingoin]

Bumble bee is exactly right.

[Yggdrasil]

I agree with Bumble bee. This girl has major insecurity issues.

She'll have to learn to trust you. That's going to take a while.

The best thing you can do is a two fold option: camly explain her that you don't care about the girls on tv and that it's just tv. Also calmly explain her that what she is experiencing puts a lot of stress on you and doesn't really benefit the relation.

Additionaly, as Bumble bee said, keep on re-assuring her that she's the only one for you.

That's about all you can do.

The insecurity issues she has to overcome herself. You can't fix her, only support her in her quest to learn to trust you.

It's in a way good you caught this early in the relation, before it puts so much stress on you it leads to a breakdown of the relation.

If everything else fails, she may consider seeking professional help in the form of counseling.

Good luck.

[Gigabitch]

She's not qualified to be in a relationship and she's lucky you've tolerated this for as long as you have. If you're not commenting about boobs, neither should she. Maybe you should tell her, "Oh, I didn't even notice them until you pointed them out."