ex-fiance or new girl?

[lostnconfused]

Okay So I am a 24 year old male. I was with my ex-fiance for 6+ years and have known her for about 11. About a year and a half ago she cheated on me and 9 months ago she broke up with me (that's when I found out about the cheating) and ended our engagement. I was willing to work through our issues and for the last 8 months had been trying to win her back. About a month ago I met this girl at a neighborhood BBQ. She is almost 21 years old and really cool. We've gone out about 3 or 4 times and talk on the phone about 3 times a week.

My ex-fiance wrote me a letter saying she wants to get back together and is sorry for everything. She wants things to be like they were. She called me and said the letter was just getting her feelings out and that I don't owe her anything. She just wanted to me know how she felt and didn't expect anything from me.

My problem is I don't know what to do. Do I go back to my ex and try to work through our issues and hopefuly we can get back to where we were or do I take a gamble on this new girl? It seems like a gamble either way actually. I'm not even sure where I stand with the new girl. Not sure if we are just friends or if she thinks we could be more. I haven't even kissed the new girl. I still love my ex and think about her all the time. I don't want to have any regrets and I can't see how I won't have any either way. Any suggestions or advice is appreciated

[Ratfish256]

I think the best thing to do in the long run is to ditch the ex. She has already cheated on you once, whats stopping her from doing it again? She already broke your heart once I think its time to give someone else a chance.

[Bonovox40]

I agree with Rat. Once a cheater....you know the rest of that mantra. The truth is anyone can change, but she has showed that after years of dedication, that she could turn her back on you in the worst way. You try to win her back like it's your fault, it's NOT! YOU should've been the one to walk away and kick that cheater to the curb. Anyone who does that to you does not respect you at all! If there's issues in the relationship, someone who cares/loves you will take the time to talk/council/TRY to work things out. A mature partner who decides that things have to end, WILL end it before being with someone else when she so obviously didn't.

Now she realizes the error of her ways, (or perhaps whoever she was with backstabbed her so she knows how it feels) and is asking you to take her back. She's basically saying "I know I f*'d you over, but let's try it again. The worst that can happen is I f*k you over twice." What do you want?

[Cybog]

I'm not even sure where I stand with the new girl.

It doesnt matter. You DO, however, know where you stand with your ex. Standing alone, while she goes out and sleeps with another man.

No matter how strong you try to convince yourself, it will, and can never be, the same with her.

Trust is serious business in a relationship, and once you lose that from someone, it is damn near impossible to get it back.

I hope you do the right thing, and be done with her.

[BillyGalbreath]

...No matter how strong you try to convince yourself, it will, and can never be, the same with her.

Trust is serious business in a relationship, and once you lose that from someone, it is damn near impossible to get it back...

Brilliant - I could not have said it any better.