Which is better?

[GBRaul]

Which is better after a gal rejects u? U leave her alone n break all contact or try to juz b her fren?

Not sure where else 2 post tis...

[bivio]

For one, I don't really like all the text talk so can you cut that out please.

Okay.. with your question. Depends on how close you are with this Girl.

Like I did stayin close friends with the girl you care for dearly and they move on get with someone else, it does hurt hard, i've been in heartache of this week, but i'm glad that we remain close friends because I don't know how I be if we did lose contact due to me thinkin of her too much.

Losin contact is easier because you have no worries but its sometimes harsh on them because they dumpted you.

I say try and remain friends

[GBRaul]

wat do u mean by all the text talk?

aniway... i read somewhere else in tis forum tt not breakin all contact wud result in the guy not bein able to move on, which is y i posted this

[english lad]

This can be very hard. I have been in this situation for a v.long time (see my post elsewhere) I remained friends with a girl I was crazy for, for 3 years. And I've had 3 years of never moving on, being hurt bad when she's had a boyfriend, fights because of my jealousy. It can get very very hard.

I'm now in the process of trying to cut her out. It's the hardest thing i've ever done, and I tried to get advice on this forum as to how I should do it, but most people said don't cut her out. It will be too hard for you.

I'm not sure I believe that though.

If you feel you don't have a chance with her, then I would try and move on. Maybe not cutting her out completely but certainly cutting your contact down. If you phone her/text her everyday, stop it. Cut it down a bit. Try and move on from her slowly.

That's what i've decided to do in my situation anyway.

[GBRaul]

Yea it is hard. Same here: bin absolutely crazy abt her for 3 and a half years. Apparently she has a b/f now and it sux, bad. But i dun kno wat to do cos sometimes when i say hi or sth she wud respond, and sometimes she jus completely ignores me. Sometimes when i c her she wud hurriedly speed off in another direction. Wat's the deal? Even online when i message her i wud sometimes wait for the entire duration she's online oni to c her log off in the end w/o replyin... Tho other times she wud reply and sound like everythin's realli ok and we can b gd frens... Wat shud i do?

And i dun tink i haf a chance wif her. Never did and never will i guess...

[NuttinLikeLove]

Your post didn't have a lot of info to really reply with any real insight. I have found that both methods can work depending on the situation. Unfortunately, dating can be almost a sport at times and everyone is different. So different tactics, work on different people.

I would remain friends if it is within reason to do so. Like if you guys are in the same circle of friends, or she lives close by or so on. But I would not go out of my way to keep in contact with her by any means. Like EnglishLad said, you might only be torturing yourself by doing that and dragging the inevitable out for a long time. My thought process always was that if there is a physical and emotional attraction than it will almost happen for a couple without either of them really trying. And if you have to try and go through a ton of effort just to impress a woman/girl to date you ... is she really worth that aggravation??? I believe that strong relationships are ones where you love and accept one another for who you are and not how much you do to impress somebody.

Good Luck!!!

[swimmingNreverie]

If it was rejection after a long relationship, then it depends on whether you WANT to be her friend or not.

but if it you went up to a girl that you've known and you finally showed her you are interested and she rejected you, then definitely step back and don't contact her. This provides either one of two scenarios:
1) She doesn't care that she hasn't heard from you, so the contact remains broken, and you move on to bigger and better things
2) It drives her totally NUTS, because there are some girls out there that won't be interested until they realize they don't have it anymore. Then they want it back (although usually its too late) And she'll most likely get in touch with you if thats the case, because she'll start questioning whether her decision was the right one

[GBRaul]

Alrite... it seems i m supposed to step back and not contact her. Sighz... hurts yea but like jus abt the rest of tis forum is sayin... gotta move on. Yea... note to me: move on!

I doubt she's ever comin back tho... never worked and never will work i think. She's MUCH too good for someone like moi

[swimmingNreverie]

No no! Wrong attitude! You're worth more than someone who makes you feel inferior

Makes me think of a quote from 10 Things I Hate About You
Patrick: "Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

In fact, you deserve more!

[GBRaul]

Thanks mate, but seriously she's such an attractive girl and me? Some unattractive nerd, or at least that's what people seem to think of me. Sigh

[King Zarathu]

dude.. personally i cut out most contact. it's easier and you don't have as many problems as you would being her friend, cuz it hurts pretty badly if you see her go out with somebdoy else

but yeah..

haha i like that face..

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Cutting all contact is an extreme move in any circumstance. In many cases it can be taken offensively. Keeping contact but remaining distant is best if you're really attached. If you don't know her very well then it's no big deal either way. Just be sure you know that the "cutting all ties" option should typically be saved for the most dire of circumstances.

[Illusional]

plain and simple, leave her alone. raverboy