Is she telling me goodbye for good now? please take the time to help me out

[cristianr9]

Well it's been 4 weeks that we fought, she wanted me to give her space. It's been 3 weeks already and i have not insisted on texts or calls( i did send her a greeting card last week that i'm here for her still). I know i messed up a lot in our relationship for the last 5 years and she wanted me to change but i kept letting her down until a month ago where she had enough of my jealousy and anger.

Well yesterday i called her from a friends number and she did answer, but when she heard my voice, she said nothing. I was talking for like 12 minutes telling her that during this time of space i have been getting better and that i wanted to hang out with her or go eat and talk, but for 12 minutes as i was talking(i was being nice and polite) she hung up without a word to say

well 10 minutes later she sends me a texts that says this; "we are just not ready, u know that, especially when we both have important things to focus on right now, take care"<<<<well i replied back saying what things we need to focus on and she said this;

>>>>"focus on u, family, school, friends, soccer, n getting better, but to change in a positive way. Takes time so please dont rush and do everything right, good nite"<<<<<< i told her i was doing my best right now and focusing on what she said but that i felt an emptiness by not having her with me. however she texts my friends number earlier saying this; >>>>"please tell him he still needs time to get better and that i have a lot going on in my life right now and i can't have problems, so take care, keep getting better and move forward"<<<<< that was the message she sent my friend

what am i supposed to do then? did i not wait long enough with the space? The thing is, i have been paying for her cellphone bill under my account for a year now. So what does she expect from me then? i know to keep getting better of corse, but what about the cellphone? Is it okay to tell her that i'm going to cancel it for now while i give her space as she wants me to? She did not saying anything about me taking the line away. I really do love her and do admit i hurt her a lot. i need really good advice her please.

[Graham Berkeley]

WTF are you talking about getting better? She doesn't want you because you a sniveling pathetic worm from the sound of it. If she doesn't like something about you then she doesn't like something about you. It isn't something broken that needs to be fixed. Go find someone more mature. Stop chasing this one and stop paying for her phone bill. This "Oh im getting better, see!" will only push her toward another guy.

[Raze]

Wow, find a different girl dude. Everything you do is adding fuel to the fire. Extinguish the flame by moving onto a new girl and starting over.

[Asip4u]

Dudeee, you sound so bad no wonder she doesn't want you back. As someone said, stop paying for her cell phone bills...Stop the contact!..Work on your problems and have something else that will become a priority for a little while...If she calls, say that you are moving on and seeing other women! Now man the **** up!

[cristianr9]

is this seriously the type of advice that i get? I think a females point of view would help me out better.

[ShyGuy81]

You may not like the advice you have gotten and it may seem a bit blunt but I think you are going to have to move on.

You admit you hurt her over the past five years and she wanted you to change, the problem is that it looks like enough was enough and she was fed up with getting hurt. She seems to have given you several chances to change but people can only put up with being unhappy in a relationship for so long before they can't take it anymore.

By the sounds of it she still cares about you but not in the way you want. She wants you to get yourself sorted, but she wants you to do it for you and not for her.

She is obviously very hurt but she is trying to move on, if you care for her then you are going to have to let her go. If you try and get back with her then you will push her away further and end up hurting her more. The fact that she text your friend to tell them to tell you to move on means that she feels you are not listening to her and she want somebody else to try and get through to her.

Seriously, if you still love her as much as you say then let her go. As for the phone, don't be an arse about it. Tell her that if it is time to move on and you two are going to have some space between you and move on then you are going to need to sort out the phone. You should quite easily be able to contact the phone company and get them to transfer her line to a new account without too much hassle.

It may not be the advice you want to hear, but sadly the right thing to do often isn't the easiest.

Lee

[Gigabitch]

I'm a female. Listen to me. She's a black hole. Stop throwing your love into a black hole.

Oh, and turn her phone off, for Christ's sake.