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Thread: Single does NOT = desperate!!!

  1. #1
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    Single does NOT = desperate!!!

    I was out with friends tonight, for dinner, (two married couples) and the guys at the table took it upon themselves to scope out potential "dates" for me. I was the only single person there and I guess maybe I was viewed as a fifth wheel. Let me just say, SINGLE does NOT equate with desperate! I'm single because I choose to be at the moment. If I wanted to be in a relationship, I could. It's not like I haven't had offers. I'm just not settling. I'd rather be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy just for the sake of being with someone. Anyone else have this problem? What do you do about it?

  2. #2
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    OH HELL YEA! For 5 years I got that same exact shit girl! I chose to stay single because I DIDNT want the bullshit of a relationship. I was NEVER desperate to have someone in my life and am STILL NOT!

    I like the whole being single and being independant from someone. And youre so right about Id rather be alone and be happy than be with someone and be miserable! I told the last guy "why in the hell are you with someone whose shitty to you?" Its what he knew. NOT ME! I wouldve bailed a long time ago!

    I did miss the companionship of someone but it wasnt worth the trade off of the bullshit inbetween, no way.

    There were times that in those years that I thought with all of my friends around who were involved they were always bitching about their man-and honestly STILL DO. Why bother? I dont need a man today and quite frankly I still wonder...the whole thing of youre suppose to be married and live happily ever after? Well-I want that someday but damnit in the process if I want to be alone-then leave me alone...I get so sick of people thinking that now that Im dating someone I MUST NEED a man now-BULLSHIT. I just happened to have found someone who like and or enjoy spending time with-why cant people just be happy for us NO MATTER where or what were doing right?

    I am NOT a desperate person for anything or anyone. I like how my life is-and I think when it comes down to it-my so called friends HERE in BH are jealous. Ok I can get that-but its been by MY choice how I want to live my life-SINGLE! Yea thats why Ive been happy~because you dont see me at work or on the phone bitching all the time how my man did this or did that~ugh~rolls eyes, I dont want to be that person.

    It comes down to this~you cant live with a man and you cant shoot him! I dont know I think if my friends could shoot their man...THEY WOULD!

    Damn off topic some-but anyhoo-it kinda comes full circle with the whole thing of just wanting to stay single...WOMEN of today are NOT desperate and are VERY capable of making it on their own WITHOUT a man. Im living proof-didnt even need the sex.

    Ok I had too much caffiene tonight.
    Last edited by squirrley; 17-07-04 at 11:57 AM.
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  3. #3
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    Hi, Breezy!
    Take it eazy! There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong to be single or to be out of relationships. Remember, your are the best, so enjoy your singleness!
    As to these guys, that were trying to find a date for you... Well, there are people who feel bad, when another person feels good...

    Whishing you all the best,
    Sandi


    PLEASE QUIT ADVERTISING!!!
    Last edited by squirrley; 17-07-04 at 11:43 AM. Reason: advetising

  4. #4
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    Right on Squirt!!!! Like I said, if I WANTED a realtionship, I'd be in a miserable one right now and complaining to you about it. lol BUT I do miss the sex. I think though, only for the intimacy of it all. I miss the cuddling and talking and general closeness of it. But I still would never trade my ideal singledom for mediocre couplehood. I just don't have it in me anymore. I'm happy and content where I am. If someday a man catches my eye who I deem worth getting to know, then I'll do it on my own terms. NOT because I just can't stand eating dinner alone.
    Thanks Sandi!

  5. #5
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    I think Im done with them myself.
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  6. #6
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    Done with what Squirt? Relationships? Awe, sweetie, don't let one little setback spoil the beauty that surrounds you. I'm not saying that single people don't WANT or rather shouldn't want relationships. Only that, they shouldn't settle for something less than they deserve, (and consequently the object of their affection as well,) just to keep from being lonely. In the long wrong it creates a far worse scenario than eating dinner alone on a Saturday night. Relationships are hard enough. You have to constantly work at them to keep them alive and thriving. Sometimes love just isn't enough. There's a host of mutual qualities that need to be in place. Honesty, respect, trust, consideration, warmth, intelligence, compatability, etc. etc. etc. The list goes on, but you get the general idea. If you settle for someone less than your ideal, you invite a host of problems. Someone who's opinion I hold in very high regard once said to me, "if youre impatient and settle for less than you deserve then thats exactly what youre going to get, but if you hold out for someone that truly compliments you, then thats how things will end up". Either way, be prepared. I'm not settling. Even if it takes me a LIFETIME to find the right person for me. That's just the way it is. But when you find the one that blows you away, that's when it's WORTH working for and holding onto.
    Last edited by Breezy18; 18-07-04 at 07:22 AM.

  7. #7
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    WHY IN THE HELL ISNT THERE AN EMOTION For SOMEONE CRYING!!!
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  8. #8
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    ok. first of all... Breezy and Squirt! AMEN ladies! Just cuase we dont have dates doesnt mean we are desperate.

    and Whats this??? Squirt? Why the tears babe?
    "Remember always, that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    - - Eleanor Roosevelt
    " It's not who we are that holds us back, it's who we think we're not."
    - - Michael Nolan
    "...to love and lose, is better than not to love at all..." .... Lord, whats his name....
    " The world is big... I want to see all of it before it gets dark." -- John Muir

  9. #9
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    As you so put it Jane..."...to love and lose, is better than not to love at all..."
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  10. #10
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    ??? everything alright...

    What happened?


    My New Car!! [URL=http://www.cardomain.com/ride/2058343]Cardomain![/URL]

    "Be Mindful of The Future, But Not At The Expense of The Moment"

    "Life is the art of drawing without an eraser"

  11. #11
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    uh Innova...man let me tell ya I read your songs over and over ya know! And Hooba was hittin me hard tonight "the reason"...those emotions can you rip you apart.

    But I HAVE to thank Jane and Breezy for saving my sanity. Thankyou for being my rocks in my life! You are the VERY BEST

    All will be ok no matter what...everything happens for a reason.
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  12. #12
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    You, Squirt are more than welcome. Anytime. I know Jane has always been a rock for you. She's amazing. And you are right. Everything happens for a reason, even if we can't see the logic of it at the time. What goes around comes around and you've been spreading a lot of happiness and love around, my dear. You will truly get what you deserve.

  13. #13
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    I love you guys! WAHOO ok no more tears for this gal! Ok HAPPY TEARS YES!

    I have been learning so much about myself the last few days and whats truly important to me. Relationships are what you want to make of it. And by golly THIS girl is MAKING it! And Breezy, youre right, when you do find something or someone whose worthy-HANG ON to it. Dont give up.

    Thank you so much for being the friends you are...you are wonderful. I will always be here for you too!
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  14. #14
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    Thanks Breezy.. thats very sweet of you for saying that and you too are an awesome gal! Squirt.. no worries right! ... Anytime Squirt.. who loves ya baby!
    "Remember always, that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    - - Eleanor Roosevelt
    " It's not who we are that holds us back, it's who we think we're not."
    - - Michael Nolan
    "...to love and lose, is better than not to love at all..." .... Lord, whats his name....
    " The world is big... I want to see all of it before it gets dark." -- John Muir

  15. #15
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    awe shucks.....I think we need a group hug!

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