Very confused

[mimsicles]

Hi i am knew to here so hi i am mimsicles i am 21. Here is my problem. Please help!

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 happy years. He is 22. The last month or so he stopped texting me and would only text if i text him. Then on Wednesday he said he didnt want to be with my anymore. I was completely heartbroken. I got up to leave and he cried and said he didnt want to split but wanted a break and that he loved me unconditionally.
On thursday he got drunk and said he thought there was a big chance we would get back together.
So on Friday i wanted to talk to him to see how he felt. His answer to most things was " I don't know". He doesnt know what he wants anymore. He said if we have a break for 2 weeks, then if he misses me he'll know he wants me back. He said if i needed him to text him then he was there. I said i wouldnt text as he will miss me more if i dont. I am finding it difficult having no contact but i know its for the best.

What do you think is going on?? Do you think he'll want me back??

Thanks

[Tug]

Mims, no one has the answer to that question other than your BF. If I were you I'd stop all contact with him and let him do what he needs to do. In the meantime do what you need to do to make yourself happy, no one's going to take care of you better than you!

[Pyoko]

OKay, please dont take what i say as facts, this is speculation, and i may be wrong.

My gut on this one is that there is someone else in the picture.
circumstantial evidence: not iniitiating texts = mind is on someone else not you

He still cares for you deeply.
evidence: he is tortured by his decisions, he broke down when he initiated "break"

HOWEVER.
regardless that he cares for you deeply, his mind is more focused on his needs right now than yours, obviously.
And those needs are? This new person. Think about it. What ELSE would cause his lack of interest, coupled with a "break"( a move that insulates his conciencce from watever he plans on doing) with no explanation. He put a time limit of two weeks? Two weeks to attempt to win over this new person? And if he fails come back to you? This is rubbish.

HE says he loves you UNCONDITIONALLY? I read that as guilty talk. This man is rife with guilt, his idea of his morals and his devotion to you dont match up with his actions and he can't face it.

Even so, there is hope here, because he is (lamely) trying to protect you from hurt, whcih shows that his decency is struggling with this temptation. If you love him, and want to be with him, then you must help him make the right choice, and soon. to do so, i reccomend that you talk to him, he is unlikely to confess his motives, but you must be honest and also harsh. Honest about how deeply this is hurting you, he must be made aware that he is ripping apart the one he claims to LOVE so much. Harsh in that, he must know that there are irreversible consequences to his actions. IRREVERSIBLE. He's deluding himself but make no mistake, he is gambling with your 2 years of both your lives. And for what? A pretty face? Men can be childish and sometimes it takes a woman's help to make us act like a REAL MAN.
Conclusion: meet with him in person, be as strong as you can be, prepare yourself emotionally. Then ask him: Is this because theres another woman? YOU are justified in asking this accusatory question. He will either confess or lie or (he's gay?) If he confesses, i would bet 1 million that he will right then and there run to you and apologize and probably be relieved and remorseful. If he lies, he will be immediately nervous, uncomfortable, and most likely go on the defensive, trying to disarm you with righteous anger. If that happens, keep the ice flowing in your veins and keep your head! Stay on topic and tell him ok, then why do oyu need a break? If after being confronted with this accusation he still refuses to give you any good reason, consider what this means: either hes lying to your face or after two years he cant share with you his feelings. Either way, tell him your "break" has become a break up because he cant be honest with you.

If you will not confront him on this matter your "break" has three possible outcomes,
(most likely to least likely)
1 The other girl wont take him and he comes back to you.
2 The other girl takes him, then he learns wat 12 year-olds learn(grass is always greener..) and he runs back to you.
3 The other girl takes him and they live happily ever after.

What you must choose is whether to let HER make the choice or you.
Your man isnt acting like a man right now, so its (sadly) up to you to step up to the plate and take control of your future and happiness! Bite the bullet and find out what he's really made of. you may discover hes not the man you need.

[Patti9392]

Hmmmm...I know it is really tough to have no contact. Especially since you've been with this person so a while. But see the signs now! If this is the way things are now why stay with someone that doesn't know if they want to be with you 100%. You deserve better. You are young. Don't stay with this person then realize he is not the one after several more years. Go out and find the right person for you.

[Raze]

I strongly believe in the no-contact rule after a breakup or "break" which is basically the same thing. Find someone else. Problem solved.

[blondee]

wow at least ur bf was able to tell u he needed a break. my bf used to just ignore me, spend time with his friends and not contact me at all. it went on for so long that i had to do the breaking up and he had no problem with it.just shows he was too gutless to do it himself.now iv go myself stuck n a 'friendship' with him and he has no need to try win me over anymore because im always there to keep him company when he needs me.

u should try talking to him if that doesnt work, i wouldnt sit around waiting for him...get on with ur life as best u can. regain ur independence