Ambition causing a breakup?(long..)

[PsychoPink]

The background:

My beau and I are both bloggers...we happened to live in the same town and ran into each other. He was anonymous on his blog, I am not so I didn't recognize him, but he recognized me. I'm 25 he's 24.

Anyway, we started out as friends and eventually it blossomed. We were together for almost 3 years. We were suppose to move in together at the end of this month.

The Problem:

He thinks I have no ambition. This has been the only (recurring) issue in our otherwise perfect relationship. Over the last three years he has finished his undergrad, started a masters and moved on to his PhD of chemistry.

I on the other hand have dropped out of University 2 or 3 times and just recently came to terms with what I want to do with my life. To add to all of this I recently was laid off as well...for probably the third time by a company I've worked for for almost two years.

So suddenly he decided he needed time to figure out if we could still be together. He loves me, but feels like I'm not doing anything with my life and it's holding him down. So I came back to my hometown and have been staying with my grandparent. This happened a week ago, and last night he told me that he needs to be alone.

He cried, I cried..the usual. He said that once he sees improvement he's willing to try again if the feelings are still there.

As we all know money makes emotions and stress run high. I've applied for tons of jobs but haven't had any luck. I wrote a business plan for what I actually want to do in life, and I also applied to go to College in the fall. Since I want to open my own business I've applied for a business program versus the Sociology I was taking at University.

So what do I do now? I love him like crazy and I want us to be together. I've been trying to have no contact, but he keeps messaging/texting about the most mundane things.

What do I do once I've gone back to school to show him how serious I am this time? I don't blame him for how he feels, I'd probably be frustrated in his shoes, but I would never give up on him, or us...ever. He just said he doesn't know how else to motivate me.

I always tried my best for him, and I think I treated him very well and was incredibly tolerant in the relationship. I miss him so much it hurts. I'm just at a loss right now as to where to go from here to mend our broken relationship.

Is my only option to prove him wrong, succeed in school and hope for the best?

[Raze]

Show him you're serious by not dropping out and graduating. Stop getting laid off at your jobs. It takes serious motivation, but if you want to be with him, then you'll follow the advice I have given you. If you keep getting laid off and dislike what you do, find a different job. Hope this helps.

[PsychoPink]

Thanks for the advice.

I do plan on not dropping out and graduating. It's a two year program.

As for not getting laid off...that's not really something you have control over. I've been looking for other jobs, and hopefully something will come along soon. Jobs are just hard to find in my town right now. Or anywhere really.

[Yggdrasil]

What is his problem? And what kind of an ultimatum is that: once he sees improvement he's willing to try again if the feelings are still there.

You don't go to school for him, you go to school for yourself, because you want it, not because he tells you so.

Who is he? Your controlling father who tells you what to do, how to live your life and when and where to graduate?

What kind of bullshit is this? Whom's life is this? That's not love, that's control, under the disguise of: if you really love me, you do this...

[PsychoPink]

I think maybe people are misunderstanding. I agree that he is being controlling and a bit of a douche. BUt he does have his point: in 3 years I haven't really done anything substantial. I've been stagnant.

And I'm not going to College for him, it's something I'm doing for me. I applied before we even broke up. He just wants me to be self sufficient for once.

[jupsik]

hmm...my question is: is he interested in you as a person. Or someone who has money? If its second...then me personally would tell him to f*** off, and thats it.

Yes, you cant do anything about layoff. Economy in world is so down, that people lose their job every day. I lost a job in April...didnt find any for 4 months (i looked everywhere)...got a job back at same place this week. I was lucky lets say.

My partner didnt leave me for that. Also i dont have grade or anything else. I left school after 9 class, because i wanted to work. I wanted money. Stupid as i was. Now ye im thinking why i didnt go to school.
But now...im working in Medical Company as Quality Auditor...and i dont have education for it. I learned while i was working there as worker. Improved my skills.

Dont let your head drop down, because you dropped out from university. You can still do alot, if you want it. Dont give up.

And if he wants you only when you have a highly paid job or high grade education...tell him to f'*** off. There is lots of guys out there....who would take you as person...not like money. And WILL love you as you are....average person or a millionaire.


Hope it helps a bit.
Cheers

[MrNiceGuy]

The background:


He thinks I have no ambition. This has been the only (recurring) issue in our otherwise perfect relationship.

Then you need to figure out what is good for you, not your beau.

What is his idea of "ambition"?

[Raze]

Then you need to figure out what is good for you, not your beau.

What is his idea of "ambition"?

Agreed, do what you think is right for you. I don't think love should be based on superficial ideals.