Stuck in a rut

[sinner]

Hi, i hope this is in the right section, if not i appologise.

Basically it all started roughly 5-6 years ago (i was roughly 14,15 years old), when i met this woman, she was a few years older than me. We was going out with each other for almost 9 months and then we called it off. It was a very plutonic relationship, hands and bodies were kept to ourselves. We had a good time together and enjoyed each others company very much. After our brake up, we hardly spoke to each other in and out of school. She was the first girl i fell in love with, it broke my heart when we wasnt together.

A few months went bye and we started chatting together again. All was going great, we decided to give it another shot between us, lasted about 5-6 months, but then we had to call it off in the end (complicated reasons). Anyways we broke it off and didnt speak for the next year.

Once the year had passed, we was calling and txting each other whenever we could. After 2 months of constantley talking, i found out she had a baby in the year we didnt talk to each other. I never had any sort of idea she was pregnant (the thought of her and someone else made me jealous tbh). We carried on talking anyways and then i met the girlfriend im with now (have been with her for almost 4 years).

Although i have been with a totally different girl, now and again i have downers about the special 1 i had fallen in love with. Now and again i have dreams about her and her son almost asif were a family unit. We talk now and again when we get a chance but its rarely. The thing is i still feel in love with her, even though all this time has passed, is this normal? or am i loosing the plot? I really miss her at times i keep remoniscing back to the past times that we shared, we have briefly spoken to one another about getting back with each other if we was both single but i dont want it to be complicated. All i know is i really miss her i just want to tell her how i feel. I feel asif im losing it now, because lots of things are reminding me of her, i miss her soooo much.

Any help is much appreciated thank you.

[bloodtippedrose]

I think youre still hurting because your relationship didnt have proper closure. That and she was your first love which always screws with peoples heads. I think that she has a son and a separate life and you should get rid of everything that reminds you of her and cut off contact with her. Even if you ended up getting back together with her it would just fall apart again. Also dont drink when youre thinking about her or youll never mentally work through it youll just prolong the feelings.

[saint]

Hi,

I found myself in the exact same situation as you but i would have been the one having the baby in your story so i can kinda see the other side. Just to get a bit of background did she ever know that you were in love with her and are you content with your new girl??

Maybe the two of you should meet up, have a honest talk with her and tell her how you feel, you may find that she feels the same. If not no loss at least you'll know the score. If you are more in love with your Ex, i dont think your present girl will or can measure up.

Good luck x