I have no idea what to do...

[Sunwontshine]

hey everyone,

Seems i have myself in a sort of self constructed nightmare.

I left my girlfriend back in january to chase after another girl (stupid i know). The relationship was a long distance thing, me being in one state her in another but we see each other monthly and it was working well.

A few months in i started to notice her Bi-Polar side alot more. The rapid mood swings, the constant "you're not listening to what im saying" remarks (i hear what she says but in her mind shes meaning something totally else), saying one simply thing that she'll take the wrong way and blow WAY out of proportion with screaming and drawing these extreme conclusions. Like flicking a light switch it changes from being the best relationship to a living nightmare.

Now usually i wouldnt waste my time with someone if they were so temperamental but i know its the bipolar shes suffering talking and its not ACTUALLY her, on the inside shes the sweetest girl whos had a ruff life. She is a victim of child abuse, abusive boyfriends and her depression obviously.

When shes in one of her episodes shes like Dr Jekyll. Screaming at me, swearing at me, insulting me.

Basically i just cant handle it anymore. I love this girl but i just cant take the constant walking on eggshells, not knowing when shes going to explode, saying one innocent thing and having her explode it into something obscene. She wont take meds or see a doctor. She studys and works really hard and ive always been there to support her, but it seems like i become her stress bag to hit and take everything out on.

And the plot thickens more, like any relationship when u step back and look at it, you see everything so much more clearly. I still have deep feelings for my ex-girlfriend, the one i left for this one. I never had a REAL reason to leave her, i was just swept up in this other girl walking into my life i really lost sight of everything.

What do i do? i feel like breaking up with her would be like another knife in her as shes already suffered to much in her life, i dont wanna be the reason behind more pain for her. Sure it might be white knight syndrome im coming under, but id feel so cruel. I love her, but im SO mentally broken down by her dark side its blocking out reasons to stay for the good.

please help

[bloodtippedrose]

Nobody deserves to be unhappy in a relationship. It also seems like she has trust issues that she needs to work out. Bottom line is there really isn't a "right" time to break it off, its really just how much more long do you want to put up with it? It's kind of unfair to your ex to start going back after her though. I think you need to take a break from girlfriends all together for awhile. Dont stay with this girl for her sake, she has dealt with much worse than a breakup.

[SandraRK]

I think you should try to be her friend, you can call it a relationship if you want, but friendship and listening may help her being gentle, but odn't get involved sexually with her and I'd suggest not getting involved with anyone else. The way I see it is people have these experiences that make up their lives and at the end to feel happy one will feel better if they know they did well and helped others. In the end that is what brings lasting satisfaction. So I would try to help but protect yourself too. Maybe step away from the relationship and see how she handles it and only go back to being friends once she's gotten over being angry. You are NO Ones punching bag. You are a great and perfect human with the light of God in your soul. If she doesn't want to return than there is nothing you can do and if she does than tell her that you'll be there for her and listen but you do not appreciate being yelled and screamed at, that you are always gentle and respectful to her and you deserve the same. If she can't control it by then than she is not loving you. But more than likely she has something important that she Needs to express or learn somehow so she can heal herself. But before that, she'll need to take a break and not see ou for a while, so she can see you in a new light and than be more open to changes. Wish you best of luck. try to keep it simple. And even if you don't answer all her problems right then and there I'm sure you kist being there are trying has helped her in ways you are not even aware of. With Love, Sandra

[IndiReloaded]

Set reasonable boundaries for her. Don't tolerate her abuse. Be consistent and don't accept excuses. People will treat you how you let them treat you.

If she cares she will step up to the plate. She can't possibly be happy about her behaviour, is she?

If she does think its okay, then she's nuts. Dump her.

[lucyinthesky]

You know, my girl started acting super crazy a while back. It turned out to be her birth control pills. You should check into that, if it even applies.