I actually don’t know where to start or what I am even saying. This is actually probably going to confuse people when they even start reading so I’m sorry if it does.
I have wrote this a couple of time’s as I keep adding things in and taking things out and in the end I just thought I would post it how it is and if there’s something you don’t understand or you need to know then you can just ask me.
Anyway here it goes.
I have really big problems with my confidence/self-esteem. I have very little of them if any at all. When I get in any situation I always think the worst, no matter what it is, who it’s to do with you can guarantee that I am thinking of the worst possible outcome. It’s been causing me problems all through my life because I just always think something is going to go wrong and I am not living my life to the fullest like I should be. I am only young and I have problems with depression so I know this has something to do with it but it can’t be the only reason I am feeling like this. I honestly don’t know what is the matter with me, and it’s really getting me down now because I just want to stop it.
It’s like with my boyfriend, I always seem to think that he is going to leave me for his ex or that when he goes around hers to see his kids that he is sleeping with her, and it’s getting me down because there has been a few times I have said that I was going to leave him because of the way that I am thinking all the time. He is amazing and very understanding with me but I don’t want to be like this anymore. I am sick of thinking the worst of everything, it’s getting to the point where I will sit and cry because I can’t cope with the thoughts that I am having.
I know no one can really tell me what I can and can’t do to help myself because there’s only me who can sort this. I think I just wanted to let some things out and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it all, and maybe talking to people I don’t know might help. I honestly don’t know and I’m sorry if I am just going on.
Sorry about it been so long and if it makes no sense sorry again.
Thanks Sarah x