Complicated and Frustrating

[PetShopBoy]

Hi there, my ex left me for someone suffering depression like her, after giving hr some space we met, and she basically told me in hints and straight words how i was better thanhim, so when i asked her to give us another chance, she said she cant leave him. The chemistry is still strong and we both working together again soon. I would like to know why she left me for him if he isnt that great, i just dont get it??
Help

[lostinconfusion]

hm...well if you say they are both suffering with depression she probably feels like she can relate to him better and that they can help and heal each other. on the other hand you are like a strong pillar of support that gives her comfort, someone she can rely on when she doesn't have the strength for anyone else, maybe someone she can be more selfish with. i'm not really sure, people with depression are tricky i think. :-\

[PetShopBoy]

Guess there is no hope now ?

[KoHein]

Hi!

Your situation is pretty tough despise looking simple. I agree with lostinconfusion so I don't need to tell you what he already type.

Well, since she has Decided to left you then no point chasing her back. You did not state how long you both have been together so it kind of hard to judge. If you both have been together for more than a year and she left you for another guy (whom she knows for only months), then she is not serious with you at the first place. She is only looking for chances and reasons to find another guy.

She was drawn away by that depression guy might be just rubbish! If she really love you at the first place, whatever depression, suicidal, etc person that she comes to know of means nothing to her! She loves you and that's it. No one should come between both of you. The reason she left is because she don't really love you or treat you as a serious boyfriend.

So you got to make a wise decision now. What I think is she is not serious with you and in fact I can say she don't love you. Don't waste you time. Go find a TRUE love that will love you. Love is exclusive attention. One for One.

[bloodtippedrose]

You dont choose partners that are above or beneath where you are in the hierarchy of needs, if you do then it will put strain on the relationship. It sounds like shes one below you.. whereas hes on the same level. She seems like she wants to be with this other guy but doesnt want to lose the stability or comfort from you so she keeps you around, not making you mad.

[PetShopBoy]

Like a year together, guess its hard to ignore calls etc when we work 2gether and require communication and plus i wouldnt wanna be a bastard when she is having a hard time, she left to sort herself out and then bam after a 2 months of still seeing each other, she is with him, its hard cause i know we stil feel strongly for each other

[Raze]

I think she is being the bastard IMHO.

[lostinconfusion]

Hi!

I agree with lostinconfusion so I don't need to tell you what he already type.

a bit off topic. thanks for agreeing with me but i'm a girl not a guy LOL.

[IndiReloaded]

You dont choose partners that are above or beneath where you are in the hierarchy of needs, if you do then it will put strain on the relationship. It sounds like shes one below you.. whereas hes on the same level. She seems like she wants to be with this other guy but doesnt want to lose the stability or comfort from you so she keeps you around, not making you mad.

Really? I thought the smartest rule was to choose someone with less problems than you.

[PetShopBoy]

All in all it sucks big time, cause i still feel strongly for her, and she is an amazin person, and we get along so great, and still she tells me how great I am. Just dont get it

[vashti]

Some people like the drama of being connected to someone who is emotionally wrecked. It is a source of self esteem by either being better off than someone else, or by allowing them to feel heroic if they can help them pull out of their issues.

[PetShopBoy]

Well we met cause we back to working together and couldnt deny the feelings still there, had a great time, but same situation and she doesnt expect me to wait but hints for us to be together...wow this is torture

[Gigabitch]

So stop the torture. Tell her you wouldn't take her back if she crawled on her knees... and mean it. Take control of the situation, get a new job and don't pick nutters to date in the future.

[PetShopBoy]

easier said then done when she is really an amazing person, and who I click with like no other

[Gigabitch]

Then just roll over and take it. You've already made your choice.