Just broke up with my gf - need some advice

[unbalancedguy]

Hi,

Apologies! This is going to be really long!

I was in a relationship with a former work-mate for the past year 1/2 or so. I was 24 and this was my first relationship. She was 33.

Initially we were great friends, but then I wanted to fool around, and she was up for it. I wanted to be 'friends with benefits' and insisted that we should make sure that things didn't move to anything more. She seemed to agree.

Fast forward a couple of months, and we were in relationship mode. We said "I love you", "I miss you", etc. to each other, though I wasn't "in love" with her. We officially moved into BF/GF mode. I think I realized somewhere down the line that she was falling in love with me. I was too much of a chicken to end it then.

I tried multiple times to talk to her and explain that I wasn't looking for a committed relationship. I made it clear that I wasn't in for the long haul, and that I wouldn't marry her or stick around. She said she knew and was fine with that. However, I could sense that she was falling deeply in love with me. I don't think she realized the extent of what I meant. I also think she was just saying whatever it took to keep me around. To clarify, she has never pressured me, always allowed me my space, and we could always communicate about nearly anything. She didn't expect anything else than what we had.

However, I realized the longer this lasted, the more she was going to get hurt. I had long wanted to end this, but on Friday, I met her and told her that I wanted to break up, and go back to being friends (this is truly what I wanted). I tried to explain it to her, but she was just absolutely shocked and devastated, as I had known she would be. I sat with her for 3 hours trying to explain that it wasn't her fault, and what the reason was.

It's been two days now, and I haven't communicated with her, except for a text message I sent her yesterday, telling her I would be there for her always.

Questions:
1. Should I cut off communication, and let her move on and heal? Or should I try to support her through this healing period?
2. Is it realistic to hope that we will be friends one day? Or will I just push us back into the same cycle?

[Charlie Boy II]

The kinder thing to do is not stop contacting her. Don't meet up with her even if she wants to. It'll just make it harder for her.

You might be friends again eventually, but just leave it for a good few months at least.

[philippine3]

stay firends is better

[unbalancedguy]

The kinder thing to do is not stop contacting her. Don't meet up with her even if she wants to. It'll just make it harder for her.

You might be friends again eventually, but just leave it for a good few months at least.

Thanks for the reply!

Cheers,
UG

[Tug]

Dude have a heart, stop contacting her and give her the time and space she needs to move on with her life.