So I dunno whats wrong in my head *trust issues*

[Domonic25]

So my girlfriend just moved off to college (grant it only being like 45 min away). Now I love her more than anything and getting used to not really seeing her alot is tough. But I guess what im having trouble with is my trust issues with women. I have been screwed over alot in previous relationships. She swears that she loves me and she's not that kind of girl and would never hurt or lie to me. But I have also heard this before. Any advice from someone whose been in my shoes? Thank you

[Seradin DaCuir]

As I have said previously here, trust is easily gotten, easily taken, and extremely difficult to get back.

Having said that, trust is about you being either strong or weak. Not that I am trying to be offensive to you, but that is simply the core of what trust is. If you can have enough strength to realize your trust in her has nothing to do with her at all, then you will trust her to be loyal to you. And if she choose not to be, then there never was love there in the first place, and you move onto someone else who will be as strong about trust as you are.

You should pick up a book called "Being the Strong Man Women Want You to Be." It's written by a Canadian. To be honest every man should read this book. It talks about being strong for yourself, and in doing so, this resonates to others. (women/your woman) Women are attracted to "inner strength" in men, and at times will stray from men if they are weak. I call it "the brown book," and you should pick it up.

What you should be doing right now is have a short, point form, simple conversation with your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel (and no, feelings aren't a sign of weakness; absence of feelings is) and at the same time, tell her your "lines in the sand," things you deem to be unacceptable in your relationship with her (only you know that so I am not going to bother to comment) and that crossing those lines may/will end the relationship for good. If you don't have that talk, you are opening up the chance of her "filling in the blanks" later and coming back to you saying "well you never said this or that wasn't acceptable." This is part of communication and a lot of relationships lack this. And finally, when you tell her you love her, you also should make her understand that while it would hurt you to have her cross those lines, you would get over it, and you will find someone else to love you and to have your love. This is not a threat, but more of a reality check for the situation. If she knows you've "let her go" and she'll have no reason to feel confined or trapped in your relationship. While she is away at college she'll know you love her, and her love for you is simply built on a foundation of trust in you, boundaries set up by her by what you've talked about, and the reality that she knows you love her in return.