New age marriage proposals...

[will2992]

Now sure if this is the correct section so mods move it if i'm wrong

Just wondering what people thought of marriage proposals nowadays and how it should be done?

Is it still good custom to ask the girls father for his consent?
Do you HAVE to go down on one knee? (would really embarrass me lol)

All opinions welcome folks!

[girl68]

When it comes to this, I think tradition is best.

Yes, I hope my bf asks my dad. (Yes, I also know he will say yes)
Yes, I hope he gets down on one knee. (And, why would it be embarassing? Unless you have an audience, but I hope mine is in private)

Note: I've also heard many men have "forgotten" to get down on the knee.

[carl1222]

I suppose there are no hard-and-fast rules in modern western society.

As for asking for dad's consent, it depends. If your intended is very close with her father, and looks to him for advice and approval, then asking dad is a great idea. It shows respect for your father in law to be, and shows sensitivity by including him in an important decision concerning someone he loves. If your intended is not close to her father, or she is a rabid feminist, keep it between yourselves.

Of course, if she actually decides based on what her father says she should do, that's a red flag!

The proposal is a tradition, and like all traditions it is more symbolism over substance. Being proposed to by you is hopefully an important event in her life and you should pull out all the stops to make it as special as possible. Get down on one knee!

Good luck

Carl.

[Junket]

Marriage is anything but "new age".

[Yggdrasil]

New age? Haha.. when I asked Mrs Yggdrasil 25 and some years ago if she wanted to become my wife, it was during dinner at a restaurant.

I had invited her for some Chinese food (her favourite) and while we were eating I casually mentioned: 'how would it make you feel if I'd ask you to become my wife?'

Her reply was: 'very happy'.

So much for tradition.

Just to explain something quickly here: marriage is a commitment made between two people.. not between two people and their families.

Real life isn't like "Everybody loves Raymond".

[will2992]

"New age" was abit of a silly way to put it, but i hope you guys got what i meant. I mean lots of traditions are leaving us, and wondered if proposals would be the same.

What if the dad says no? Do you still ask anyway? Thus making the original question pointless lol

And one knee is scary, then again depends where and when you do it... i will probably try do mine in privacy as hate having an audience

[Yggdrasil]

Will,

If the dad says no, then you can't marry the dad and you'll have to settle for the daughter...

Did you read my post? I already answered that question for you.

[vashti]

I (once again) disagree with Ygg. In a healthy family you ARE marrying more than one person - you are joining families. Therefore I think it is a lovely idea to get the parent's blessing. If they won't give it, then you can resort to flying solo, but families are important. I would be REALLY careful about marrying in to a family that didn't want you to be a part of it.

[Yggdrasil]

I love vashti.

[Gribble]

Call me a rebel, but I don't really give a damn what my mom and dad think, and beyond lip service to my would-be wife, I really don't care what her mom and dad think, either.

I don't believe in the traditional approach. If I ever asked a girl to marry me it would have to be done in an interesting way. Some sort of practical joke, some kind of show. Something that, if not unique, would at least be memorable not just to ourselves.

[amy9]

Well there are lots of different ways to propose...I've heard a few stories and two out of five guys asked the girls' dad because they knew it was important to her. So maybe it depends on who you're asking? If you don't know what she wants yet, do you know her well enough to ask?

There's also a facebook group set up collecting 21 romantic proposals so if you want to get some ideas you should go there.

[Graham Berkeley]

Ask her on Facebook...

[bluesummer]

It wasn't really important at all to me that my fiance ask my Dad, but he did, and my Dad was shocked by the gesture...in a good way. He said it made him feel respected.

As for the one knee thing.....it's really kind of a mushy romantic way of doing it and that's not right for everybody. About half the people I know got the one-knee proposal, including myself (in front of a golf course full of people). It was old-fashioned but nice. I don't think many girls REALLY expect it anymore.

[Charlie Boy II]

I'll get down on one knee for sure. Just one of those things to do before you die.

I've down this extravagant fake proposal before. I was at a club and a band was playing, and I went up on stage and made this whole speech about how in love I was. Then I called up this swedish girl I was seeing (she was in on it), and got down on one knee. And everyone started cheering like crazy, and the club gave us free champagne.

[adamsapple]

I'd stick to traditions. You ask the girls father, it's more of a courtesy than anything else. And it'll put you in good standing with the in-laws. Of course if the disagree, who the hell cares as long as you and your would be wife agree.